Monday, May 7, 2012

letting go

I had my interview earlier today and I think it went pretty well, but it's hard to tell over the phone/skype conference call...but if I had to make a judgement call, I think it went least, the second half of it did.

For the first 20 minutes, I was trying realllllly hard to give good, educated answers but I was also super nervous and looking back I feel like my voice was somewhat tight and shaky at the same time (don't ask how that's just is!). But then (probably by the grace of God) my internet went out...right in the middle of me answering a question/the interviewer asking another question. AHH! I kind of freaked out and then was like "well, I suppose that maybe I'm NOT supposed to get this job..." however, the interviewer called my phone and we continued on...and once my internet was back to normal, we switched back...oiy!

While it was annoying and I was worried about how it would affect my interview, I think it really was the hand of God giving me a chance to calm-the-heck-down! because post-confusion I was more loose and natural in answering...I could tell a difference in my voice and I knew that I was being more me. Which is always a good thing....
.....maybe always is too strong of a word....

....point of the story is that I hung up feeling good...feeling that I did everything I could to make the best impression possible.

And then here comes Satan. How I strongly dislike that creature. He starts putting little worries and concerns in my head like 

"oh my gosh...I can't find ANY reasonably-priced apartments online! there's NO WAY I could even accept this job!"
"ahhh!!! the salary is not what I was expecting/what I have hoping for!!!"
"oh man. how am I going to pay off my loans in 1.5 yrs on a salary like that?!"

But the problem with worrying is that it proves that you distrust God and His goodness. 
If this job is meant to be mine, He'll help me find somewhere to live. 
If I'm meant to accept a job offer away from home, He'll take care of the money issues.
He ALREADY has a plan and knows how long it will take to pay off my loans as well as when/if I will go to grad school.

So what's the use in worrying? All it does is distract us from our Lord.

Pray for me please! I'm praying for you!

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