Friday, May 4, 2012

crystal clear

I'm 7 days from graduation.
Still no definite job offers.
But I do have hope....and honestly, that's what scares me more than anything.
It might sound ridiculous but it's true - mostly because I like things to be clean-cut and for the right decision to be easy to pick out.
I know that life isn't like this...I know that knowing what was going to happen next would take some of the fun and adventure out of life.
But I'd like to know what God has planned.

So far, I have been offered 2 job two separate two different fields.
The first, I talked about last a daycare.
The second, I was just contacted about yesterday...working in the campus ministry field - aka my dream.

So it's great, really. Like I'm excited about both because they're both jobs that I would be really excited about and grateful to have...but the catch is that the one (daycare) is in my hometown, the other (ministry) is about 4.5 hrs from home. So there are different pros and cons that go along with each. I won't go through every single pro/con on my list, but here are a few just to get the picture:

pro: close to home
con: living at home...ugh
pro: BABIES!!!
con: not the field I'm interested in being in for the rest of my working years...
pro: good salary+benefits
con: living far from friends and not having any friends at home (legit...I'm friend-less)

pro: ahhh dream job!
con: salary??? no idea how I would pay off my loans and living expenses on my own
pro: would only be 1 hr from where I currently live, aka close to friends
con: figuring out living sitch and moving more than once this year
pro: working in the field that I aspire to be in forever/networking for future
con: farrrr from home, hard to get back for fam stuff

and there are sooo many more but I won't bore you...I don't know, like no matter what, it's going to be all fine and dandy because this is my life we're talking about...and like I've said, He's got this...but it's nerve-racking not knowing. The uncertainty is what freaks me out. Ughhh.

Sometimes, I wish that when you turned 22, you were given a folder with two vital pieces of information in it. 
1. The day that you will meet your future spouse.
2. The job that God has planned for you.
I know that this takes all the fun out of the unknown, but sometimes, I just wish I knew these 2 things so that I could stop wondering and day-dreaming. Oiy.

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