Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Not Alone Series: Valentine's Day

What are your thoughts about Valentine's Day? Do you enjoy it? Loathe it? Not even realize it's a special day? Do you celebrate it in any way? 

I had a hard time starting this post...mostly because I wasn't sure exactly how to translate how I feel about Valentine's Day into words. See, I don't hate Valentine's Day.

I hate that WalMart replaces the New Year's decoration sales with candy hearts and smelly perfume....but that's more of an issue with consumerism than V Day. And I really don't care for how many people seem to take Valentine's Day more seriously than the love that our Lord pours out at every. single. mass.
But again, that's a deeper issue.

No, I don't hate Valentine's Day. Growing up, I loved giving out candy and cards to my classmates. I loved dressing up for our class parties. And even now, I think it's cute when my grandma sends me a Valentine's Day card with a lottery scratch-off. Or when my friends ask me to watch their son so they can go on a pre-Valentine's Day date. Cute. So cute.

I don't mind the lovey-dovey, cuteness factor that Valentine's Day brings.

I suppose my problem with the whole day is how others view single people on February 14th.
The coined "Singles Awareness Day" drives me insane. INSANE. (really? really? every other day of the year you aren't aware that you're single? false.)

Perhaps it's because I'm now in a mental place where I'm happy with my life, but for whatever reason, it makes me crazy when others act sorry for me/other singles. My life is great! I don't need or want your pity! Please!

I was trying to remember what I've done the past few Valentine's Days because only one of them was spent in a relationship (and he said he was falling in love with me....after 2 weeks. EEK! more on that later...)
Last year I went to BWWs with a friend whose husband was in Canada for the weekend...she was pregnant and hungry, I was just hungry.
So we ate among couples and went back to her house and watched The Lorax. Low key. Great.

This year, I did what I do most Friday nights when I don't have plans: cleaned up my apartment and watched P&P on repeat.
I didn't do all of that because I was lonely or alone or sad about being alone or wishing I had a Valentine. No....I was just letting my life go on.
Because at the end of the day, no matter what you and your significant other does on Valentine's Day, what matters more are the other 364 days in the year. Life goes on.
And no amount of chocolate, flowers, or hearts are going to sustain you for the rest of the year!

So I do wish that our society viewed Valentine's Day differently...I wish that when I really wanted to go to the grocery store and get some wine and ice cream on Friday, I didn't second guess myself.
I wish when I walked into Schnucks, I didn't feel like I was being judged as the "lonely single gal" buying a huge bottle of Barefoot and 3 pints of Ben and Jerry's (hey! they were all on sale!)
I'm not lonely. I'm good. I'm content. I'm fulfilled.
And I was also alone on Valentine's Day. So? More wine and ice cream for me :)

What do you think? Link up over at Jen's today with all of the other lovely ladies!


Last call for Savannah!
We still want YOU to come to Savannah, GA for our girls' weekend! 
{Remember it's July 18-20... still have no idea what I'm talking about? Check this out!
Interested, but haven't taken the survey?
This guarantees you a spot, helps plan the money situation, etc. 
Please fill it out by 11:59EST TONIGHT! Thank you! 
 AHHH! Jen and I are so freaking excited, you really have no idea.
It's gonna be flippin' amaaaazing!

Also... have you joined the Not Alone Series Facebook Group? Please join if you'd like!


Next week's topic:
Who is a great example of masculinity in your life (father, brother, uncle, priest, etc)? What is it about them that you love?

March 4th: Bachelorette parties!It's inevitable that we'll attend or plan a friend's Bachelorette party at some point or another, but how do we make them fun without all the raunch? Give us your ideas for fun things to do with a bridal party without all the crazy!

March 11th: Why not both?We've been hearing a lot that "married people and single people can't relate to one another". What is your perspective on this? In what ways can we bridge the gap between singles and marrieds?

March 18th: Single life bucket listWhat are those things that you want to do before you get married (or enter the religious life)? Is there anything that you're excited to do, accomplish, etc. before engagement, marriage, and babies come along? Even if you feel that you've done everything you wanted to do pre-marriage, dig deeper and see if there isn't anything else you'd like to do!


  1. Hahah I love that you were "just hungry". This is all so true about you don't want it to be Valentine's Day for those in a relationship and Single Awareness Day for everyone else--lame and depressing, no one wants that. Finally, I would have totally bought 3 pints too if they were on sale.

  2. Singles' Awareness Day drives me batty, too! It's not like prom where we're all going to one place and everyone will make fun of you if you come alone. Please move on with your lives, people.
    Your wine and ice cream sounds divine. I had sangria for my valentine :)

  3. YES. What the heck "Single Awareness Day"??? It's just the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I bet it was some married person who was trying to be compassionate or something and it just went horribly wrong.

    And what is BWW??? Should I know what that is? bahaha... I laughed out loud with "I was just hungry."

    1. hahaha BWW!!! Buffalo Wild Wings! (aka Bdubs) :)

  4. This post made me want to shout, "AMEN, GIRL!" :) And oy, "Single Awareness Day" definitely drives me nutso too! :) Ice cream and wine is pretty much the best combo out there, so I applaud your choice on that! :)

    I should probably know this, but what is P and P???

    1. only the best movie EVER, Pride and Prejudice! :)

  5. You put into words what I hate about how Valentine's is put across but I actually love the day. "Singleness Awareness Day" seriously!!!!!!!

  6. My friends started using Singles Awareness Day back in college, because that is what it felt like... Not that we didn't know we were single the rest of the time, but that it was acute awareness that you're alone when everyone else is going on and on about love and presents. Gag.

    1. These days SAD still fits beca

    2. Hmm, it won't let me type what I want.....
      Because the smug marrieds and smug living-togethers need to pull their heads out of the clouds and realize not everyone is as lucky... The fact that people's vocations are being unfulfilled should matter to those who are blessed to be living their vocations. Just as we support their marriages, they should support singles in fulfilling our vocations, instead of just laughing uncomfortably.
      You'll see... There are varying degrees of difficulty as one ages in singledom. You can feel good about it now, but what about when you're 30, 35, 42, 45? When the possibility of being a reasonably young bride disappears, along with the possibility of being a young mother melts into probably never being a mother at all?
      Believe me, now you think the worst thing is when people ask why you're still single. What is worse, is when they stop asking.
      So yes, please acknowledge that I'm single, and how absurd it is that I am! In no other American generation would I or my friends, women like me (attractive, educated, fit, talented, accomplished) be sentenced to a life of spinsterhood! Only when our society acknowledges this, can we expect better of the men.

    3. TRS, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! I can understand your perspective on "SAD", I guess I just don't see the use in bringing any more attention to my single-status! And I agree with parts of what you said about married folk...we should support one another in everything...friendships cannot be a one-way street.

      In regards to the second part of your comment, I certainly did not mean to diminish your experience as a single woman, but please do not diminish my experience either. I hope that should I "still" be unwed at 30, 35, etc. as you propose, I will be able to continue to have joy for the present and hope in the future. I can only speak to my own experiences at the place I am at this moment. The only reason I "feel good" about my being single is because I choose to embrace it for what it is. I've spent too many years living for tomorrow rather than today, and now that I've realized that today is pretty great, I intend to live in it.

      Know of my prayers for you and your journey.


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