Not Alone Series: Masculinity

Who is a great example of masculinity in your life (father, brother, uncle, priest, etc)? 

What is it about them that you love?

Ahhhhhh men.

See what I did there? :)

I've written about an aspect of masculinity before - chivalry - and since I can't seem to get chivalry off of my mind, I suppose this is what I've focusing on again this week.

Now that I'm more attuned to noticing chivalry around me, I appreciate it much more than I did when I was younger. As an angsty teenager, I would roll my eyes when my dad would let each of us go before him in line for communion at mass. I would resent him "taking" my prime realty spot on the end of the pew - perfect for people watching, amiright?

But now, when I go home for the weekend and my dad lets me go in front of him, I have to smile because I know that this is his silent way of loving us.

Hmmmm what other things have I appreciated recently?? OH!

In that post I linked to above, I'll link to it here again, I mentioned a time recently when gentleman helped me with my coat. Oh my gosh. I don't know what it is....but that just makes me feel like a lady.

Like he was nonverbally saying, "oh here, I care enough about you to make sure you stay warm"

Ok, that sounds dumb now that I wrote it out...but does anyone know what I mean?

I am a huge advocate for ladies being ladies and men being men.

There are people who would take this the wrong way and argue "AH! You mean to say that women cannot do everything that a man can do! How sexist!"

Mmmmm no. Not at all.

But what's wrong with ladies being treated like ladies? What's wrong with men stepping up like a man ought?

Here's another example:

I've had the enormous blessing to get to know a number of lovely people here in town lately. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to belong to a community once again. (but that's another post) As a result of this community-building, a few of us decided to attend our parish's trivia night this weekend. It was SO much fun.

My parish's trivia night is more rowdy than most college bars #forreal #lotsofliquor
— Morgan McFarlin (@thatprolifegirl) February 23, 2014

And it was set up as a pot-luck of sorts...soda and desserts were provided, but we were encouraged to share dinner as a table. Well, we had a number of group emails where we couldn't decide how to divvy up dinner responsibilities and finally, two of the men spoke up (wrote up?) and volunteered their cooking expertise. This might not seem all that incredible, but these guys brought homemade country style ribs (SO DELICIOUS) and homemade Chicago style deep-dish pizza (a real treat for us transplanted from the north).

I don't know, I guess I'm so used to the women always being the ones who step up and say "oh, I'll host" or "oh, I'll cook the meal" or "oh, don't worry about it, we'll take care of everything"...it was refreshing for a couple of men to take that role!

Aaaand that's pretty much all I've got! This post wasn't really what I'd anticipated writing, but we want to hear what you think! What are examples of masculinity that you've experienced through men in your life?

Write a post and link it up below!

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Next week's topic:

Bachelorette parties!

It's inevitable that we'll attend or plan a friend's Bachelorette party at some point or another, but how do we make them fun without all the raunch? Give us your ideas for fun things to do with a bridal party without all the crazy!

March 11th: Why not both?

We've been hearing a lot that "married people and single people can't relate to one another". What is your perspective on this? In what ways can we bridge the gap between singles and marrieds?

March 18th: Single life bucket list

What are those things that you want to do before you get married (or enter the religious life)? Is there anything that you're excited to do, accomplish, etc. before engagement, marriage, and babies come along? Even if you feel that you've done everything you wanted to do pre-marriage, dig deeper and see if there isn't anything else you'd like to do!

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As always, please email us any topic suggestions you have! Jen and I want to be talking about things that are a part of your life! Help us plan the next topic schedule! :)

Not Alone Series: Valentine's Day

What are your thoughts about Valentine's Day? Do you enjoy it? Loathe it? Not even realize it's a special day? Do you celebrate it in any way? 

I had a hard time starting this post...mostly because I wasn't sure exactly how to translate how I feel about Valentine's Day into words. See, I don't hate Valentine's Day.

I hate that WalMart replaces the New Year's decoration sales with candy hearts and smelly perfume....but that's more of an issue with consumerism than V Day. And I really don't care for how many people seem to take Valentine's Day more seriously than the love that our Lord pours out at every. single. mass.
But again, that's a deeper issue.

No, I don't hate Valentine's Day. Growing up, I loved giving out candy and cards to my classmates. I loved dressing up for our class parties. And even now, I think it's cute when my grandma sends me a Valentine's Day card with a lottery scratch-off. Or when my friends ask me to watch their son so they can go on a pre-Valentine's Day date. Cute. So cute.

I don't mind the lovey-dovey, cuteness factor that Valentine's Day brings.

I suppose my problem with the whole day is how others view single people on February 14th.
The coined "Singles Awareness Day" drives me insane. INSANE. (really? really? every other day of the year you aren't aware that you're single? false.)

Perhaps it's because I'm now in a mental place where I'm happy with my life, but for whatever reason, it makes me crazy when others act sorry for me/other singles. My life is great! I don't need or want your pity! Please!

I was trying to remember what I've done the past few Valentine's Days because only one of them was spent in a relationship (and he said he was falling in love with me....after 2 weeks. EEK! more on that later...)
Last year I went to BWWs with a friend whose husband was in Canada for the weekend...she was pregnant and hungry, I was just hungry.
So we ate among couples and went back to her house and watched The Lorax. Low key. Great.

This year, I did what I do most Friday nights when I don't have plans: cleaned up my apartment and watched P&P on repeat.
I didn't do all of that because I was lonely or alone or sad about being alone or wishing I had a Valentine. No....I was just letting my life go on.
Because at the end of the day, no matter what you and your significant other does on Valentine's Day, what matters more are the other 364 days in the year. Life goes on.
And no amount of chocolate, flowers, or hearts are going to sustain you for the rest of the year!

So I do wish that our society viewed Valentine's Day differently...I wish that when I really wanted to go to the grocery store and get some wine and ice cream on Friday, I didn't second guess myself.
I wish when I walked into Schnucks, I didn't feel like I was being judged as the "lonely single gal" buying a huge bottle of Barefoot and 3 pints of Ben and Jerry's (hey! they were all on sale!)
I'm not lonely. I'm good. I'm content. I'm fulfilled.
And I was also alone on Valentine's Day. So? More wine and ice cream for me :)

What do you think? Link up over at Jen's today with all of the other lovely ladies!

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Last call for Savannah!

We still want YOU to come to Savannah, GA for our girls' weekend! 

{Remember it's July 18-20... still have no idea what I'm talking about? Check this out!} 

Interested, but haven't taken the survey?

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY. 

This guarantees you a spot, helps plan the money situation, etc. 

Please fill it out by 11:59EST TONIGHT! Thank you! 

 AHHH! Jen and I are so freaking excited, you really have no idea.

It's gonna be flippin' amaaaazing!

Also... have you joined the Not Alone Series Facebook Group? Please join if you'd like!

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Next week's topic:

Masculinity

Who is a great example of masculinity in your life (father, brother, uncle, priest, etc)? What is it about them that you love?

March 4th: Bachelorette parties!It's inevitable that we'll attend or plan a friend's Bachelorette party at some point or another, but how do we make them fun without all the raunch? Give us your ideas for fun things to do with a bridal party without all the crazy!

March 11th: Why not both?We've been hearing a lot that "married people and single people can't relate to one another". What is your perspective on this? In what ways can we bridge the gap between singles and marrieds?

March 18th: Single life bucket listWhat are those things that you want to do before you get married (or enter the religious life)? Is there anything that you're excited to do, accomplish, etc. before engagement, marriage, and babies come along? Even if you feel that you've done everything you wanted to do pre-marriage, dig deeper and see if there isn't anything else you'd like to do!

Not Alone Series: "if only I knew then...."

Stay tuned below for announcements and the next few topics! :)

What would you tell your former self about being single if given the chance? What have you learned that you wish you could tell your younger self?

You know that saying, "hindsight is 20/20"?

While I can't sum up my entire life with that cliche, there are definitely points in my younger single life when I wish I could go back to have a heart to heart with my high school self, or my college self. Or even my 6-months ago self.

Here are a just a few things that I would tell myself if given the chance:

Eliminate Expectations

Oh, girl. Make a genuine effort to stop. expecting. You trust that the Lord will bring you and your future husband together, yes? Then stop anticipating when it'll all come together. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache if you don't expect to be engaged/married by college graduation. It's hard, I know. But you'll be much better off if you just allow the Lord to guide you wherever He sees fit. And He has so much amazing stuff planned, things you never imagined. So eliminate your expectations and be willing to go with the flow.

Raise your Standards

You are worth so much more than you think. I know people say this all the time, but it's actually true. And believe me, it's much better to be single than to date the next guy who seems to be slightly interested. Or it's better to be single than to "hang out" with that guy you've been crushing on for years who'll never seriously commit. Please. I know you're lonely. I know it sucks being the only roommate without a boyfriend. But being with someone, just to be with someone isn't a good enough reason. And you're worth more than that.

Don't hold out for tomorrow

Today has so much to offer! 

Dive into your classes! Fully experience your internship! Spend quality time with your best friend!

Because let me tell you what, once you graduate, you'll be hard pressed to find time to read and learn and teach. And your best friend? She'll move, you'll move, and it will be much harder to stay in touch.

I know you're excited for the future and that "someday" when Mr. Right walks into your life, but please don't spend so much time wishing, waiting, hoping. 

Enjoy the now because "the now" is all that you're surely given.

What would you tell yourself if you could go back in time? Link up your post below! And we now have a Not Alone Series Facebook group! Join if you'd like to stay up to date on the NAS happenings! :)

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Savannah Trip update!

Jen and I talked for 3 HOURS this weekend so, yes! Things for this trip are rolling!

In the interest of planning specifics of our girl's weekend, if you are planning on attending the NAS Savannah Girl's Weekend, please click here and fill out this short survey by next Tuesday!

(only submit once, please!)

Anyone planning on coming to Savannah needs to take the survey in order to be accounted for!!!

Don't know what I'm talking about? Click here for more info :)

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Next week's topic:

Valentine's Day

What are your thoughts about Valentine's Day? Do you enjoy it? Loathe it? Not even realize it's a special day? Do you celebrate it in any way? 

February 25th: Masculinity

Who is a great example of masculinity in your life (father, brother, uncle, priest, etc)? What is it about them that you love?

March 4th: Bachelorette parties!

It's inevitable that we'll attend or plan a friend's Bachelorette party at some point or another, but how do we make them fun without all the raunch? Give us your ideas for fun things to do with a bridal party without all the crazy!

March 11th: Why not both?

We've been hearing a lot that "married people and single people can't relate to one another". What is your perspective on this? In what ways can we bridge the gap between singles and marrieds?

March 18th: Single life bucket list

What are those things that you want to do before you get married (or enter the religious life)? Is there anything that you're excited to do, accomplish, etc. before engagement, marriage, and babies come along? Even if you feel that you've done everything you wanted to do pre-marriage, dig deeper and see if there isn't anything else you'd like to do!