Not Alone Series: Despair and Vocations

Thanks to Amanda for suggesting this week's topic!

It is SO easy to feel alone, lost, and forgotten when you so ardently believe that you know what your vocation is meant to be but it just doesn't seem to be happening yet. I don't have all of the answers because I struggle with this kind of despair A LOT and expect/hope to learn more this week from others than be able to lend any advice, but I would like to share some wisdom from others I've picked up along the way.

Those of you who follow me on twitter or are my FB friend (only a few of you out there, I think :) might have seen that last week Tuesday, my grandmother passed away. The wake and funeral were on Sunday and Monday, respectively. Grandma's passing was one of those unexpectedly expected events.
We knew Grandma was slowing down, and had begun to tell everyone that she was ready to pass on from this life.
We knew that her health took a nosedive early last week.
Yet, we didn't expect for her to go so quickly.

And while these past few days have been extremely difficult, I've had the opportunity to reevaluate the way I approach my life currently. It's so easy to waste away your days wishing for something that you don't have and wanting each day that stands between you and your future to pass by quickly. But upon standing back and looking at your life, it's so important to realize that today was yesterday's future. Did you waste yesterday wishing for today? Or did you make the most of the current moment to prepare for tomorrow?

This reevaluation isn't just for you, it's something I have to continually remind myself of.

Another part of the despair of waiting for my "vocation to begin" (the idea of which I kind of hate because aren't we all living out a daily vocation, regardless of our relationship status?? ...another topic for another time...), is the despair that comes from comparing my life to those of others.

At the moment, I struggle most with comparing my life to those of my friends who are engaged or married or married with children. It's especially difficult when I realize that these people are my age and have been married for X number of years and have X number of children.
It's SO EASY to feel completely behind the ball!
I end up sitting back and having projections of my life as an old maid with 50 cats all named "Baby" and freaking out whilst wondering if it's time to join CatholicMatch.com.

Aaaaand then I give my self a mental slap in the face and remember that I'm only 23.
But more than that, even if I were 33 or 43 or 53 and single, the most important thing to remember that this is my story.
MY story.
No one else's.

Yes, my life looks different from my best friend from grade school. (married for 3 years)
Yes, my life looks different from my freshman year dorm-mate. (married 10 months, just had a baby)
YES, my life look different from my best friend from college. (dating a cowboy in TX...literally)
DUH.
That's how it's supposed to be!

It's so easy to think you're not pretty enough or not funny enough or not good enough when at 21 most of your friends were engaged and you were there twiddling your thumbs and just trying to find a friend to do jello shots with. *guilty*
But that's the beauty of life! No one's story is the same, and if we all had the same story, how freaking boring would that be?!

So ladies (and gentlemen?), don't doubt yourself. Trust in the Lord and in His timing and try to enjoy life right now. It doesn't last forever and the future is coming up quick (tomorrow.).

So looking forward to reading your thoughts on vocations and dispelling despair! Link up below, please include a link back to THIS POST and check out Jen's post (it's pretty awesome, just sayin')

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Next week's topic:

Who are you right now as a young, single woman?

(here is a blurb from Alex, who emailed this suggestion to help you see what we mean and to get your juices flowing)

We place so much of our identity in other people, in their reactions and responses to us, in whether they take the time to text us or like our status on Facebook. We desire approval more today than ever, and we seek it constantly. So what happens when you’re removed from the reactions of other people and you’re left sitting alone on a bench by the bay with no reaction or encounter except those from God?

I’ll tell you what happens. You begin to meet yourself. Because the truth of your personhood is how you are seen in the eyes of God, and it’s never more revealed to you than when you take time to leave everyone else in the world and to ask him who you are. I thought I was alone when I moved to St. Augustine in August, but what I really had was the most intimate time with God I'll probably ever know, and it’s revealed several things about who I am that I never really saw.