Not Alone Series: 2015

How are we going to make 2015 different than last year? What goals are you planning/making to be more YOU this year? These can be goals can be personal growth, spiritual life, physical/health, or even your love life! Maybe you don't have concrete ones yet, but it helps to talk them out and get motivated!

There's something about a new year - a new start, a new beginning.

I'm not the biggest proponent of new years resolutions...mainly because people tend to take on too much at once. However, I'm a big fan of continuously improving and growing, so manageable and realistic goals? I'm all about that [bass].

Going into 2015, there was a restlessness on my heart, a burden of sorts. Something I couldn't quite shake.

As I searched my soul for what this could be, there was a constant theme of being tired of trying.

I'm tired of trying to put myself out there and trying to find my husband and trying to always be "on" and trying to try...it's all exhausting. The constant voice in my head saying that I'm not enough, that I'm not quite there yet. No more.

What I want for 2015? 

To try in the only thing that will be constant in my life forever: my relationship with God.

I want to focus on being His and Him being mine. I want to allow myself to be content with that. I must let Him love me and show me how He sees me.

This is first and foremost. My relationship with Christ, and my love for Him, needs to always be the center of my life, and I haven't been living in this way for quite some time.

Along with my desire for fuller union with God comes the desire to be more of who He made me to be.

In total honesty with you all, I am horrible at taking care of my body. My hygiene is fine, thanks...no, I mean health-wise. My eating and exercise habits need a major makeover.

So far, I've been pleased with the changes I'm making. It's hard to eat crap when all you let yourself buy a the grocery store is greenery. And getting up early to work out is rough...I'm really not a morning person. But it's amazing how alert you can be after a decent amount of sleep.

Rejuvenating my bond with the Lord is happening slowly but surely. Baby steps, but ones that count.

Daily mass. Regular rosary. Spiritual reading before bed. Prayer right when I wake up. Prayer right before I sleep.

This all comes down to routine and discipline. Your prayers for my success in continuing these changes would be much appreciated!

What are you seeking to change or improve in 2015? Any hopes or dreams for the year? Share your post by linking below! Be sure to link back here and to Jen's post as well!

------

Next week's topic:

Children and Babes

Do you have children in your life? What is your relationship with them like? Do you have godchildren, and how do you form a relationship with them? Does having children in (or not in) your day-to-day life make you feel happy, wistful, or wary (of having your own someday)? 

Thanks to Lindsay!

1/27: Selfies
Do you support the selfie trend? Do you think it promotes self absorption, vanity and narcissism? Is there a way to incorporate selfies into the Church's teachings of modesty, authentic beauty, humility?
Thanks to Hannah!

2/3: Qualities in our Husbands
What are the qualities and characteristics that you are looking for in your future husband? We have talked about what we don't want (link to deal breakers), but it's good to have an idea of those things that are important to us. Discerning religious life? This applies to communities, as well!

2015: A Look Ahead @ "Here I Am"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

First off, hello! You didn't remember that I had a blog, eh? It's, ok...clearly I forgot too :)

I have many hopes for 2015, one of those being that I carve out time for the things that I enjoy, especially blogging!

But, with most good habits, it's hard to get started. Thankfully, Natalie helped us all out with her "2015: A Look Ahead" link-up, complete with questions! Hooray!

Without further adieu, here we go....

1. Do you think you will be going to school at any point in 2015? If so for what?

I don't anticipate taking any academic classes, but I do hope to start learning NFP (Creighton) from a practitioner in town. Perhaps that will take me to the Pope Paul VI Institute for more training? We'll see :)

2. Will there be a job change for you in 2015?
I'd like to confidently say "no"...but then again, you never know what God has in store! I don't have any plans to leave my current position this year.

3. What adventure or event are you most looking forward to during this coming year?
Oh man...this is hard. Definitely witnessing 3 of my best friends getting married AND having the honor of standing up in their weddings. I'm giddy just thinking about all the love and joy that is to come! And then, of course, I'm overwhelmed with anticipation of my trip to Philadelphia to see Pope Francis. Can't. Wait.

4. Do you think there will be a move to a new house/apartment/city/state/country in 2015?
I don't think I'll move this year. I HOPE I won't move this year. My current apartment is the fourth home I've had in the 2.5 years I've lived here, so....yeah. I hope to stay here for awhile :)

5. What do you see as the direction of your blog in 2015? Design update plans? Link-ups coming down the pipes? More or less posts?
Gosh, I hope I can get back on the blogging wagon. Fell off of it for awhile there. Writing is such a release for me, so I really want to be better about affording myself the time to write at least weekly. I have a few ideas for different topics that are exciting, so hopefully I can follow through :)

6. If you could guarantee that one thing could happen this coming year what would it be?

I'd really like to make some big changes in my spiritual and physical health, so I'd love a guarantee that I have the motivation and dedication necessary to make these changes. Normally, I would say that I'd love a guarantee that Mr. Right and I meet this year, but that's not my focus right now. I'd prefer some guaranteed trust in the journey :)

Happy 2015 to you! Head over to Natalie's for more 2015 hopes and plans, and to link up your own!

Dream big, kid.

My boss asked me recently if I've ever experienced one of my dreams coming to fruition.

The dream that first came to mind made me laugh. My boss, being curious, wanted to know what I thought of. Preceding my story with "this is really silly", I told him of my dream in 1st grade to go on a date with one specific cute boy. 10 years later, I experienced that dream.

Silly.

My boss laughed, and asked if I had a different, perhaps more meaningful, dream. And I do, believe me, I do. Some of these dreams have come to be. Some have yet to be fulfilled.

My dream to date that boy, well, looking back seems silly. And yet, when I think of the daydreams that occupy my mind these days, I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that they aren't too different.

How often do I dream of the day my Prince Charming and I will ride off into the sunset?
How many times have I wished and hoped and prayed that this new guy I'm talking to is "the one"?
How much brain power do I waste on willing a cute guy at the coffee shop to stop his coy glances and COME AND TALK TO ME ALREADY?

Sheesh. To quote Elizabeth Bennet, " Is that really all you think about?!"

In truth, no.
But in truth again, I think about this A LOT.

It's natural to long for the things our hearts desire. It's natural to wonder and hope about what the future holds.

But how about taking it a bit deeper?

How about dreaming about a better world around me?
Or dreaming up a new way I can serve my fellow humans?
Or what if I dreamt up a project to build the Kingdom and saw THAT to fruition?

People say all the time "as soon as you stop looking, that's when he'll show up!" The problem I have with this is that there's a big difference between truly immersing yourself in life and just pretending you are with the hopes of that "working".

I want to dream big. I want to change the world.
Yes, above everything else, I desire to get to Heaven and believe that God intends me to get there via marriage. However, I know He has many plans for me in the meantime.

And who knows, maybe I'll meet Mr. Right while seeing through a different dream.

Not Alone Series: Makeup ...and a CatholicTV giveaway!

What are your thoughts on wearing make up? Do you see a tension between a pressure from society and a God-given desire to be and make life beautiful? Is your use of make up compatible with the idea that God sees you as naturally beautiful? (Thanks to Bek!)

I was interested by this topic when it was suggested to us by Bek, because I haven't really given makeup much thought!

Personally, I've had varying experiences with makeup and have used it in different ways over the years. I don't believe that makeup is inherently evil, nor do I believe it is necessary.

In the days when I struggled with emotionally and physically painful acne, I depended on cover-up, concealer, and foundation to keep my self esteem in tact. Should I have pondered the Lord's love for me despite my perceived imperfections? Perhaps. But even now, I don't think that I did anything wrong by attempting to conceal my acne.

There was one Lent when I decided that I wanted to give up makeup...I allowed myself to use only one makeup product every day. Most days, I would use concealer to cover up pimples, but that was it! No eye shadow, mascara, blush, etc etc etc. While it was weird in the beginning, by the end of those 40 days, I realized that I didn't WANT to use as much makeup as I had in the past! For a good amount of time following Easter, I only used concealer and a little bit of mascara...no longer did I feel the need to "put on my face" each morning.

These days, I wear makeup daily, but I'm much less concerned about concealing all of my flaws. Granted, much of this has been helped by my use of the OCM. My acne and oil is nearly nonexistent, and my scarring has all been erased. 

One of the issues I used to have was how LONG it would take me to get ready...like, is this really necessary?! Nowadays, I take maybe 15 minutes in the bathroom...including hair.

At the end of the day, God loves us exactly as we are and doesn't see our "flaws" as flaws. He loves you with your thin eyelashes, pale lips, freckles, etc etc etc. But do I think He is offended by us using makeup as a tool to help us enhance our beauty and/or self esteem? No...I think if we use makeup and it helps us to become better, more confident versions of ourselves, well, I think He's ok with that.

You know what, though? Sometimes I purposefully leave a couple zits unconcealed.

WHY?! WHAT THE HECK?!

Sometimes, I do this to show others that yes, I too have flaws. I remember the first time I saw a classmate of mine who had a red zit on her nose. This was a girl who seemed to have it all together...but wait! She got zits, too?! Just seeing that made me realize that I was not alone in this...and that imperfection didn't make her any less beautiful in my eyes, so hey! maybe I could be less insecure about my imperfections!

Now, I don't think that anyone in my life sees me as having it all together...but if by denying my vanity for one day, I could build solidarity with the people around me, I think that's worth it.

What are your thoughts? Do you wear makeup? Do you think that using makeup is good? Bad? Share your thoughts in the comments or by linking up below!

AND! We have a giveaway today!!!

Bonnie at CatholicTV was gracious enough to give Jen and I a few gifts to give away to you! I will be giving away a CatholicTV care package this week and Jen is giving one away next week! Wanna know what you could win?!

My care package will include a CatholicTV beachtowel, USB stick, refrigerator magnet, and magazine!

All you need to do to enter yourself in the giveaway is comment below answering the following question: 

"If you could give CatholicTV a pitch for a new TV show...what would you suggest?"

The giveaway will end on Tuesday, 10/7 at midnight. At this time, I will assign numbers to each comment in the order published and randomly select a winner via randomnumbergenerator.com! If your email is not connected to your user name, please add that to your comment so I can notify you if you win!!

Good luck!!

----------------------

Next week's topic:

Rosary + Single Life

October is dedicated to the Holy Rosary, so we wanted to honor Mary and reflect on her help during this time of singleness. How have you called on her intercession before? What is your relationship with our Blessed Mother like? If you don't know much about Mary or the Rosary, is there something keeping you from getting to know her?

October 14: Modesty
Continuing our reflections about our make-up routines, let's chat about modesty! What does modesty mean to you? Does it just involve the clothes you wear and how you wear them? What about the things you say or do? In what ways can we improve our overall modesty?

October 21: Sex!
Our culture is obsessed with sex. With anyone! At anytime! If you want to, just do it! But, the Church teaches that sex was created for the context of marriage. Why do you choose to abstain? Why aren't you going around having sex with just anyone? How would you encourage others to do the same? How do you remain strong when everything in our culture is encouraging you to abandon your convictions?

October 28: Discernment Challenges
We all agree that discernment is challenging. Figuring out what the Lord is calling you to do with your life can be frustrating and exhausting. But, then add on lack of family support, cultural pressures, and your personal expectations... ugh. And, this isn't just in relation to vocational discernment, but general life discernment, too! How do you keep going? What helps you to push through? How can we encourage one another? What indicators have you experienced that lets you know you're going down the right path?

#NASBoston Recap: WE WERE ON TV!!! {part 1}

Oh man. Y'all this post is so fun to write. On one hand, I cannot believe that #NASBoston is already over, but I'm so excited to share all the deets with you!!

[grab some coffee or a snack, this one's gonna be long]

As a recap of how we got here, way back in May, Bonnie at CatholicTV reached out to us about being interviewed about building community after college and the Not Alone Series. Jen and I were so blown away and so excited for this opportunity to share the NAS community with more of the world!

So, we started making plans to fly out to Boston, where CatholicTV is located. Keeping this secret was SO hard! And then we finally got to share it with our #NASavannah ladies....then made the public announcement! The support received was incredible, and being able to have all of you share in our excitement made this opportunity that much more thrilling.

Ok, so enough with my recap before the recap! Let's get down to it!

Our interview was scheduled for Friday morning (9/12), so the only logical plan was for Jen and I to fly into Boston on Thursday evening. Unfortunately for me, flight options were not super flexible...since I didn't want to take an additional day off of work for the trip, I had to leave after 5PM. This meant that the earliest I could arrive in Boston was 11:59PM.

But hey, I was coming from the Central time zone, so I hoped that this paired with my night owl tendancies would help me out.

The flight from Champaign to Chicago was uneventful...except that it began my FIRST SOLO FLYING TRIP EVER! Yes, I am in my mid-twenties and have never flown by myself. 

Go to dinner solo? Check. 

See movies alone? Check. 

Roadtrip by my lonesome? Check.

But fly across the country by myself? This was a first!

My first leg of the trip was only 31 mins long...insane! And the clouds were so gorgeous!

...gorgeous.

By the time I landed in Chicago, the sun had set and I'd gotten myself in a tizzy over the fear of missing my connection to Boston. Luckily, I made it to my terminal with plenty of time...until 2 minutes before boarding they announced that the plane was deemed unfit to fly and we needed to move to a different terminal.

Cue mad dash to a terminal clear across the airport. Because that's convenient. Oiy.

It all worked out and our ETA was only pushed back by a couple minutes.

Well, poor Jen had already arrived in Boston and upon deciding to wait at the airport for me to get in so we could share a cab, had found out from an employee that my flight might be delayed/cancelled. I was so frustrated that they told her that! Never did I hear any word of my flight being cancelled, so that worry was all for nothing! Sorry, Jen!

I finally arrived in Boston, found Jen, grabbed a cab, paid WAYY too much for a fare, stayed up too late chatting with our amazing host Shae, and hit the hay.

Waking up Friday morning [suuuper early] was somewhat surreal. Was this really happening? Jen and I struggled to wake up, but had some coffee and got ready in Shae's amazing duplex. I wish I would have taken some photos! It was so cute and Shae is seriously THEE best hostess. By far.

Nervous and excited!!

Jen and I rush rush rushed to get ready and managed to take a quick pic before heading out the door!

Bonnie from CatholicTV picked us up a little before 9AM and we were off! After so many months of going back and forth with Bonnie, it was so nice to put a face to the name! She was super sweet and accommodating! Thanks again for everything, Bonnie!!!

When we finally arrived at the studio, that's when everything got real. I started getting super nervous and THANK GOD we had the opportunity to attend Mass because I don't know how I would have remained semi-calm.

Although, the multiple cameras recording mass LIVE didn't help me calm down toooo much.
But, Jesus did :)

Most of Mass was spent praying that the Lord give me His words while on air...and that I wouldn't pass out. Ha! Please know that I prayed for you, too, and offered my Mass for all of you out there!

Post-Mass, we met the other gentleman being interviewed on This Is The Day, Jim Gorman from The Society of St. Vincent de Paul, and Bonnie gave us a quick tour around the studio.

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm the type of person who needs a little time to get centered before public speaking. So when at 10:20, we were still looking around the studio...I was getting antsy. Like, checking-my-watch-isn't-anyone-else-worried?! antsy. This was when Bonnie told us that 10 minutes before showtime was lightyears in the TV business. Oiy!! I am NOT cut out for that!!

Taking pity on my poor nerves, Bonnie showed us to the set and OH MAN were we excited. AH!!

We got to meet one of the hosts of This Is The Day, Jay Fadden, who was great and assured us that we had nothing to worry about. Sweet, Jay, but I was still tweaking! Turns out that Jim was going to be interviewed first, so we had some time to chill out.

So Jen and I snapped a couple shots...

There's Jay!

    

Jen tried to take the first one....hilarious! But we did get a selfie with Jay! ha.

While waiting offstage for our turn, we were reading through all of the tweets of love from you guys! Y'all are the best!!!

I'm actually up early today to watch @Jen_CoxRN and @thatprolifegirl on @CatholicTV!!!! #nasboston #singlelife
— Beth Anne (@BethAnnesBest) September 12, 2014

.@thatprolifegirl and @Jen_CoxRN ARE ON @CatholicTV!!!!!!! #NASBoston
— Arleen Spenceley (@ArleenSpenceley) September 12, 2014

It's starting @Jen_CoxRN @thatprolifegirl @CatholicTV #thisistheday #NASBoston
— N Christopher (@trinichiqn) September 12, 2014

Before we knew it, Jim's portion was over and we were being ushered onto the big red couch! We met Kevin Nelson, Jay's co-host for the day since Father Reed was gone, who also assured us to just take a breath and it'll be fine. They both were so funny and normal, it was easy to forget that we were about the be interviewed ON LIVE TELEVISION. Actually...we forgot a little too soon and the guys had us laughing so loud the crew guys asked us to quiet down...oh right, the news segment was filming...whoops!

And then it was three, two, one.....

Ok, really. Those 6 minutes were some of the most fun I've ever had. Well, those and then the 10ish after the interview when we just sat and chatted with Jay and Kevin. Here are a couple more pictures from during the interview...

Jen and I! On TV!!!

Shameless screenshot from YouTube....IS THIS REAL LIFE?! THAT'S ME!!!

And now for my favorite part of the whole interview...

"WHERE. IS. HE."

Hilar. See?! They made us feel so comfortable! This is the kind of thing I would say to a friend...not intentionally on LIVE TELEVISION. But hey, I did ask God to give me the words to say what needed to be said, soooo.....

When we were finished with the interview, we just kind of hung out on set with Jay and Kevin, joking about how to meet guys in Boston. Somehow we got on the topic of whether buying us a couple "cups o' chowda" would be a smooth move, which is where I believe this shot came from:

Analyzing our expressions and gestures now makes it all look so staged, but I swear! Bonnie was taking pictures throughout and this one's completely natural! 

Then we all took a group picture...

After this, it's all kind of a blur...I know we hung out with Bonnie in her office a bit, and then ended up back in the studio for part two of our interviews. Apparently, there's a monthly show that Kevin hosts called Encounter, so eventually our interviews will be featured on that as well!

This time, Jen and I were interviewed separately by Kevin...which allowed us to get some shots of each other getting interviewed!!

First I went...

Then it was Jen's turn in the hot seat!

We both had the chance then to do a little prompter work...basically just saying "I'm ____, and you're watching CatholicTV"...but it was pretty cool! I've never used a prompter before, so realizing that the words are RIGHT OVER the camera blew my mind! I always envisioned the prompter being to the side of the camera!

Once these little segments were completed, Jen and I were ready to head out! But, not not before a couple more photo ops!

I'm totally blown away by our experience at CatholicTV. Not only was this an amazing opportunity to reach more people with the ministry that is the Not Alone Series, but Jen and I left the studios refreshed, re-energized, and reinvigorated with the passion behind WHY we started the Not Alone Series.

In the day to day, when I tell people that I have a blog or when I try to explain what the Not Alone Series is, I'm usually met with blank stares and polite nods. People aren't outright rude, but oftentimes I feel that the idea of "having a blog" is met with confusion. And the concept of a community built through an online forum is seen as being weird. Maybe this is my misinterpretation, or my own insecurities.

Either way, being at CatholicTV, all we were met with was openness, excitement, and interest. People who not only were genuinely interested in learning more about the Not Alone Series, but could recognize that there IS a need for it. And furthermore, the people we met AFFIRMED our mission to help others know that they are not alone.

Every single person we met at CatholicTV was great. And I'm not just saying that! They really were. We had some time in between things to talk to some of the crew, and there were all so cool and passionate about their work. The other thing that was really cool is how many young people work at CatholicTV! Of the people we encountered, I'd say roughly half were in their 20s or 30s. AWESOME!

I could go on and on and on and on and......but I won't. I'll just say this: thank you, CatholicTV, for inviting us out to experience your ministry to the world. Keep up the amazing work, you're doing good for the Kingdom!

There is so much more that I want to share, but I'll save that for part 2...coming tomorrow!

Check out Jen's recap of #NASBoston!

Not Alone Series: Freebie!

Feel free to catch us up on life, talk about something that's on your heart or have a stream of conscience post! No rules here! :)

Hello hello!

Can you believe that it's already August?! It feels like only yesterday that the warm weather was rolling in! I've had a good and challenging summer, and looking forward to the fall!

I LOVE fall. It's one of my favorite seasons (after spring!), so much so that I even have a Pinterest board devoted to my favorite fall looks!

But I love fall also because the leaves are changing, school is starting (I like that much better now that I'm out!), and new things start rolling in....

What kinds of new things? Well, for one, we'll begin our second year of the Not Alone Series! Exciting! Weekly topics and posts will begin again on September 2nd! As always, PLEASE send me or send Jen topic ideas! Or better yet, join our Facebook community and post your suggestions there! This is as much your series as it is ours! We want to talk about whatever YOU want to talk about!

So, lots of new things! Exciting things!

But this fall gives me another reason to be anticipatory....because....

Jen and I are going to be on CatholicTV!!!!

That's right!! Jen and I are going to Boston, MA to be on CatholicTV!

Ok, ok, ok....so here's how it all went down....Bonnie from CatholicTV reached out to Jen, asking her to be on This is the Day to talk about the Not Alone Series. Well, as y'all know, the NAS has been a collaborative effort between Jen and myself, so she asked if we could both be interviewed and Bonnie agreed!

What is this life?! How is this real?!

So, after much freaking out, frantic phone calls and texts, it's official! Jen and I will be travelling to Boston to be on CatholicTV in SEPTEMBER!!

Actually, ONE MONTH from today!!!

Here are the details...I still cannot believe this is reality!

What: Jen and Morgan of the Not Alone Series community on This is the Day

When: Friday, September 12, 2014, 10:30AM EST

Watch: LIVE online at CatholicTV.com OR on the CatholicTV YouTube channel after original broadcast

Follow: We'll be posting throughout our weekend in Boston and using #NASBoston to track our travels!

Jen: Twitter | Instagram

Morgan: Twitter | Instagram

Jen and I will be interviewed by Fr. Robert Reed and Jay Fadden! We are so excited! Never in a million years did we think that we'd EVER have the opportunity to share the Not Alone Series with a larger audience! 

For those who have been participating and following along since the beginning, you know that we started the NAS as a way to build solidarity and community. We wanted you to know that you are not broken, lost, or left behind. We wanted to share in the struggle.

The opportunity to minister to others who feel this way...other people who might feel broken, lost, or left behind....this opportunity is beyond words. The Lord clearly had some big plans in store for the NAS, and I cannot wait to see what He continues to do!

Please pray for us as we prepare for our trip to Boston! And please pray for anyone who might witness our appearance, that our witness might touch just one more soul who is searching for hope.

I'm excited to FINALLY be able to share in this excitement with all of you!!! We've been holding this in since MAY!! AH! 

Help us to spread the word about our being on CatholicTV by using #NASBoston, and make sure to follow CatholicTV on Twitter!!

Link up your freebie post at Jen's!

Making Friends as an Adult

Back in the day, the NAS ladies linked-up posts talking about building real-life community. At that time, I was in one of my blogging ruts (read: like always) and neglected that topic. Mea culpa.

Well, I've been thinking about this exact topic for...oh, probably more than 2 years. No joke.

You see, when college graduation is rapidly approaching and you realize that no matter where you go, you'll need to start from scratch in the friend department...eek! Cue freak out mode!!

When I graduated from college a little more than 2 years ago, I moved to a city only 45 minutes from where I went to school, but I was going to be living with people I didn't know, in a city where I knew few people, setting out of this journey we call "adulthood".

Within the first 6 months, I had moved twice, got used to two different batches of roommates, and readjusted to 2 different "seasons" of my work (summer and school year...very different levels of crazy!). So it took a solid 9 months before I realized "huh...it would be nice to make some friends my own age."

I work with college students all day, who I love, but adult friendships are essential to filling my social tank. And at the time, I lived with 4 other women, so for a while I just relied on that internal community to suffice...but it wasn't enough for my ENFP personality type.

After doing some searching around for young adult communities and activities available through the local parishes, I became discouraged. There was very little to offer. A couple of communities existed, but weren't what I was looking for. I just wanted to have a social community that could potentially lead to deeper events (bible studies, talk series, etc.), but I believe that building friendships is the essential first step.

So I was left with this dilemma: What the heck?! Where are all the young people?! Single, married, didn't matter to me...I want to be your friend! In college it was so easy to make friends! Dorms are natural places to meet new people, plus the hundreds of clubs and interest groups were perfect places to make friends. I found met most of my close friends through the Newman Center...but where was the adult version of this?!

these ladies are some of my best friends from college....where were the people like them?!
photo circa senior year spring break in Gulf Shores, AL

It's almost funny to look back and remember where I was a year ago: frustrated after meeting with my (former) pastor who told me that single people and married people can't be friends because they can't relate to each other (not true, by the way) and simply wanting to build some holy friendships with people who would build me up as a person and vice versa.

But it's not really funny, because this is a very real reality for many young adults who struggle to build friendships in post-college life.

Today, I have (THANK GOD!) a thriving social life and a group of friends who are some of the best people I've ever known. We have so much fun together and I leave our gatherings renewed in mind and spirit. We hold each other accountable, we encourage personal and spiritual growth, and we genuinely love spending time together.

So how did this all happen?! What changed?? Well, I have a couple of pieces of advice for anyone who is where I was a year ago. I truly know where you're coming from, and while I'm no expert, maybe some of this could help you :)


Take Initiative

A common complaint I hear (and have said) is "The Church doesn't minister to us young people! There are events for high school students, college kids, and married folk...but what about us? There's a gap they're missing and it's so frustrating!"

Yep, that's annoying.

BUT when you think about it, YOU are the Church. YOU are part of the body of Christ. So if YOU feel the need for a new ministry, it might be up to YOU to create something through your parish or with other young adults you know. It can be super intimidating, especially if you don't have the support of your pastor, but you can't always wait around for someone else to address a need you have, sometimes we need to step up and lead!

I'm so grateful for the amazing priests who helped my friends and I meet new people, without them, we wouldn't have any of these relationships. But what it took was stopping our belly-aching and telling them that we had this need, we wanted to address it, and asking for them to help us.


Keep it Simple

When a new young adult group is being created, sometimes there's a tendency to begin with a bible study, or a theological discussion, or or or. But, from my experience, these events can be a.) difficult to just get to know people and b.) intimidating for new people to join and feel comfortable.

We started our "Young Professionals" group by going out for dinner. There were 4 people to start (2 priests, 2 young adults) and each person was instructed to bring at least one friend to dinner. That first dinner brought out 10 people. Then at that dinner, the next dinner date and time was set and everyone agreed to bring a new person. And so on and so on and so on....

Now, we have an email list that goes out to 42 young adults. Yep, 42! Insane! Not everyone comes to dinner each time, and there is a group of about 12 of us who've become close friends, but all of these 42 people have come to a dinner at one point or another! Those of us who wanted to build community did.

Dinner is non-threatening, casual, and hey! Everyone has to eat, right? By starting off simple, authentic friendships can be formed and deeper events can bloom (ex: bible study, silent retreat, etc.).


Don't Give Up!

The desire for community is natural! It is how we were made! God said in Genesis “it is not good for the man to be alone" and this doesn't just relate to marriage! We were made to live in community, so even if it feels like there isn't anyone else who wants to make friends, believe me, they're out there!

I think an important thing to keep in mind is that you aren't just doing this for yourself. This is a ministry for others as well, to serve others in their journey toward striving-to-be-holy community. It really is essential that if God is putting this desire on your heart, which is a GOOD desire, you try to do His will and build community. Yes, you will benefit in the process, but you'll also be serving others like you!

Despite potential frustration, set-backs, or lack of understanding from others that might occur, I encourage you to press on! Don't give up!


I hope some of this helps! Please let me know if I can elaborate or be more clear! And don't hesitate to ask questions! I have been so blessed by the community I've found and want to help anyone I can to do the same!

And for those of you would are part of a thriving young adult community, what has your experience been? What advice do you have? Please share!

Not Alone Series: One Year Anniversary!

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the Not Alone Series!

Today we're doing a reflection on the past year...how things have changed, how we have changed, etc.

The beginning of this community sprouted from a reaction post from last April. I flippantly wrote that we needed a single ladies support group but never expected anything to come of it. Sure, I felt the need for a better formed community, but did anyone else feel that? I had no idea. But the Holy Spirit was working because Jen emailed me and got the ball rolling!

This time last year, Jen and I were frantically emailing back and forth.
We were so excited and so nervous!

"This is going to be so great!!!"
"Ahhh I wonder if anyone will even want to do this with us! Eeek!"
"Welp, if no one links up, at least I don't have a big enough following to feel embarrassed!"

These are nearly direct quotes from our email and chat threads :)

And so here we are.
One year, nearly 50 posts, and tens of thousands of views later.
I still cannot believe what the Not Alone Series has become.

Jen and I had a very specific vision for the Not Alone Series community. We desired a welcoming, loving, understanding community of women who could grow in solidarity with one another. We envisioned a source of comfort; an oasis in the blogging world among hundreds of "mommy bloggers".

Over the past year, I've not only built true friendships with some amazing women, but I can see such growth in my own life. Much of this growth I credit to the influence and support of the Not Alone Series community.

When we first started the NAS, I was just beginning to come around to the idea of "living in the now". I was just beginning to realize that if I expected to ever be able to look back on this time in my life with fondness, I had to live it well while it was happening! In having the NAS to bounce my ideas and struggles and desires off of, I've grown into a more complete version of myself.

In the past year, I have been on minimal dates.
I've been in zero romantic relationships.
And I am more content than I've ever been in my entire life.
Thank you for helping me to grow in this way.

As Jen mentioned, we've struggled personally in the past year, but also with the continuation of the Not Alone Series. We take hosting the NAS very seriously and strive to serve you all to the best of our capabilities. There have been times when we wanted to throw in the towel: when we've received negative responses, or are just too emotionally, physically, or mentally exhausted. But again, like Jen pointed out...it's in these moments when God gives us inspiration or feedback from someone who's benefited from the NAS.

Whether it's someone who found hope in the posts and community or someone who discovered us and cannot wait to contribute...you all are the reason we keep this series going. God reminds us time and time again that when we first ventured out on this journey, we entrusted the NAS to Him and His will. It is because of His will that we have all been brought together and it is through His will that the Not Alone Series will continue to be a beacon of light to single people who feel alone.

Our tagline still rings true, and I hope you find comfort in it:

You are not broken.
You are not lost.
You are not left behind.

And you are not alone.

There have been so many great topics this year, it's hard to choose my favorites, but I have to echo Jen (again!) in saying that the very first post is one of my favorites. But I also loved sharing my discernment story, cracking my heart open for all to see, and being shocked that I was in the minority in certain opinions! And definitely being able to announce our trip to Savannah was one of the most exciting posts this year! Come on, July 18th!!!

The Not Alone Series has become more than I could have ever imagined and I believe that the Lord has great things in store for our future! I hope you'll join us as we continue to journey on!

We will be taking a little reprieve from the regular NAS schedule this summer, but have monthly posts planned for July and August which can be found below! Please email us with any topic or general suggestions for the future and let us know how the Not Alone Series has impacted you!

Even if you've never commented, posted, or emailed before, we would LOVE to hear from you! Please!
Shoot me an email or a comment...I want to meet you! And I know Jen feels the same way!

Link up your Not Alone Series: Year in Review post over at Jen's! Happy Anniversary, y'all!

---------------------

Summer Schedule

July 15

Summer Reading List

Share your favorite book recommendations! Beach reads, deep novels, anything! Share share share!

August 12

Freebie!

Feel free to catch us up on life, talk about something that's on your heart or have a stream of conscience post! No rules here! :)

September 2
NAS posting resumes!
Topic to be announced :)

Not Alone Series: Social Media

Our lives tend to revolve around social media and knowing what's happening in everyone's lives. How has this effected your life? In your experience, has social media made dating easier? Harder? 

i.e. not judging something you see about the guy you're dating on Twitter/FB

Jen suggested this topic after the following video was floating around, you guessed it, social media.

Kind of ironic that a video encouraging us to ditch the phones and "constant connections" went viral.

Have you seen it? Did it make you think?

When I first watched this video, I really wanted to throw my (brand new barely had it for a week) phone out the window.
....and 5 minutes later I was texting and checking Instagram as usual.

But I will say this: since seeing this video, I've become more aware of my, and others', usage of technology when in a social setting.

I spent this weekend with my best friends from college. The six of us haven't all been together since a wedding two years ago. Since then, one has been married for nearly 2 year, two got engaged, and one is about to move to Texas. We have TONS to talk about.

So cute!

But you know what kept happening throughout the time we spent together?
Even when the conversation was moving along, somene would be checking her phone.
Occasionally, someone would be texting.
There were even times when we were all silent and some of us were zoned out while the others checked Facebook, Instagram, what have you.

Y'all, we have PLENTY to talk about. Exciting things are happening! We haven't spent this much quality time together in TWO YEARS!

Yet, a portion of our weekend was spent forsaking one another for the glow of our phones.

Now, I'm not perfect. I certainly could learn to leave my phone zipped in my purse more often.
Even during the time that I've been writing this post, I've checked Facebook a couple times.

What is with our constant need to be connected?
Is the world going to crumble if you don't tweet your feelings at.this.very.moment.?
Will your food taste less delicious if you don't first 'gram a picture of it?
What would happen if you didn't text your friend back right.now.?

Yesterday, (Happy Memorial Day!) I went to a barbecue at a friend's house. I had a lot to carry, so when I got out of my car, I put my phone in my purse so I could use both hands for the loot.
And you know what happened?
I got to the party, dropped my purse at the door, got talking, and forgot about my phone for 4+ hrs.

There were a couple times throughout the evening when I thought "oh, I wonder if so-and-so texted me back...oh, I wonder if so-and-so emailed me....oh, I wonder if so-and-so posted pictures from this weekend..."
But despite the ingrained habit of constantly being connected, I was immediately sucked back into the present. Instead, I was able to focus entirely on the person in front of me, to give my undivided attention to them.

I'm sure you know how frustrating it is when the person you're talking to keeps checking their phone. It feels like they don't really care about what you have to say, as if they wish that you'd just shut up already.
Do you know how that feels? I definitely do.

So then, why would I do that to someone else?

I'm making an effort to be more present in the present moment.
Will you join me?

**And in regards to dating and social media, my advice is this:

Googling your date: not a bad thing
Analyzing your date's tagged pictures and freaking out about the girls he has his arm around: bad thing.

Social media can be our friend, but shouldn't replace normal human interaction.

What do you think about social media? How has it influenced your life? What about your dating life?
Link up below!

--------------

Next week's topic:

NAS year in review

June 4th, 2013 was the very first NAS post! How has your life changed in the past year? How has the NAS community impacted you? Where would you like to see the NAS go in the future?

Not Alone Series: Goals and Lent

Remember our first post this year? How are the goals you set going? Regardless of how your goals are going, how are you utilizing this Lent to continue to strive for those goals?

Way way back in January, I wrote about my focus on humility this year. While I didn't set any specific goals, I definitely need to grow in this area. Natalie noted that in asking for humility, I'm asking for opportunities to be humbled. And surprise! she was right :) Well, it's a good thing I like a challenge!

The past couple of months have helped me to better analyze what parts of my life need pruning and shaping and some TLC. 

I struggle with humility, yeah? But what does that mean? How can I just "work on humility"?

It seems rather vague, don't you think?

But just last week I came to a realization that I'm excited to share with all of you.

I went into work on Wednesday feeling great. I was refreshed, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I am NOT a morning person (be forewarned, Savannah NAS Trip ladies :) but for some reason, I was ready to take on the day! 

Preach.

Upon reflection, I chalked it up to the girls night out that I had on Tuesday evening with some really wonderful people. And I kept thinking "My social 'tank' is full! I need to be sure to keep that 'tank' full if I want to keep feeling this way!" But the truth is, I have more than one tank that needs to be filled....and because I like lists and tangible goals of how to complete something, And I'm a slight perfectionist....so if I can look at a list of things and say "oh, well I succeeded in most of my goals this week", that is so much better for me than not being able to tangibly assess my "success". So here are my "tanks" and how I'm keeping them full!

Faith Tank 

(ex: daily mass at least 3x/week, confession 2x/mo, etc.)

Social Tank 

(ex: at least 1 social event/week, at least 1 catch-up phone call/week, etc.)

Health Tank 

(ex: work out at least 3x/week, eat at least 3 complete, well-rounded dinners/week, etc.)

Self-Esteem Tank 

(ex: "give back" 1x/week, take time each morning to put myself together for the day, etc.)

Rest Tank 

(ex: get 7 hrs of sleep/night, take one weekend-day morning to relax, etc.)

Mental Tank 

(ex: do something creative 1x/week, read before bed each night, etc.)

Productivity Tank 

(ex: tidy up home every evening, only take 1 break before lunch and 1 after lunch, etc.)

Financial Tank 

(ex: check online account 1x/week, tithe every week, etc.)

Truthfully, the above "tanks" are simply needs that I have. My dominating temperament is Sanguine, so having social interaction in groups of all sizes (though I LOVE big groups!) is really important to me. And I struggle with Phlegmatic vices...procrastination and laziness are huge obstacles for me...which is why having lists and specific goals works for me. And this has become somewhat of a game these past few days, trying to see how many of my goals I can accomplish! To fulfill my Mental goals, I'm teaching myself how to play the guitar! For my Faith goals, I needed a push to go on a silent retreat this upcoming weekend - BAM! Let's do it!

I share this all with you because well, I know that YOU have tanks that need to be filled! Maybe your social tank doesn't need to be filled as often due to different circumstances (I work in my own office and with college students all day...I NEED adult interaction!), or perhaps your faith tank has different needs. But if you're anything like me, only a couple of these tanks are being well-maintained. Personally, I am good about keeping my Social, Mental, and Financial Tanks full....but the others? Not so much. 

But that's ok! What better time to make a change than during Lent? What a beautiful and generous gift from our Church! Who else has a whole liturgical season devoted to penitence and improvement?! I'm so grateful for this time to really focus on becoming the best version of myself for our Lord.

I think this relates to my goal for the year because it takes humility to be able to look at your life and evaluate areas where you need to improve...and while it wasn't easy coming up with specific goals for myself, posting some of them on here has a sense of accountability :) I posted this on the internet! Now I have to follow-through!

What about you? Are some of your "tanks" neglected? I challenge you to take an honest look at what needs you have and take the step toward change!

And how are your goals going from the beginning of the year? Have you had to make adjustments? Tell us about how Lent is helping (or not helping?) you to strive closer to your most authentic self! Link up below!

Next week's topic:

Do's and Don'ts of First Dates

What are those things that we should be doing, and the things that we shouldn't be doing? They can be from the physical parts (clothes to wear, places to go, things to say) or emotional parts (talking about it all the time, planning the future, etc). We can all learn something in hindsight, so what are your tips to share?

April 15th: Selfish Singles

How do you combat being selfish with your time? As a single person, it's easy to get caught up in our own little independent world. There are those moments when we are needed for extra church things, hanging with our friend's kids, getting caught up with something on the one night you could stay in, etc. where we get frustrated that the needs of others are taking away from our own time. How do you avoid this selfish tendency and what do you do to avoid becoming frustrated with "sharing" you time with others?

April 22nd: Marriage

Most of us here feel called to the vocation of marriage...but what is it exactly that you're attracted to? What have you seen in others' marriages that you've learned from or would do differently? (maybe this is from married friends or your parents!)