alternatively....

I've talked before about my affinity for alternative rock. But lately, the genre "alternative" has come to include folk and electronic....it's not just the alternative rock that I grew up knowing and loving.

NOT that I'm complaining...I actually love "Today's Alternative"...it just took some getting used to.

The following are my Top Ten Alt Songs. I don't think the critics know what they're doing when the top ten Alt songs of the day are played....these are clearly the best.

And maybe these kinds of posts aren't your thing....that's ok, feel free to move along, but it's because of Bonnie that I discovered Adele way back when, so maybe stick around...you never know what you're gonna like!

Also, some of the videos are weird, it might be best if you just listen, mmkay? :)


Royals - Lorde





Pompeii - Bastille





Chocolate - The 1975





Trying to be Cool - Phoenix





I Will Wait - Mumford and Sons





Dark Horses - Switchfoot





Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips





Feel Again - OneRepublic





Pumping Blood - NONONO





Wake Me Up - Avicii



xo mo

sitting waiting wishing....

....for some normalcy.

Perhaps you've noticed that really all I've been posting lately are my NAS contributions. Or maybe not.

Either way, world, I've been less-than-present for the past couple months for a couple of reasons:

1. I'm fundraising my salary.

2. I moved into my new apt Aug 1st....and haven't set up internet

BUT this week, I FINALLY got the interwebs connected in my new place. I'm uber happy and really did not think that I could make it this long. I don't have a data plan, so basically after I left work, I was without wifi.

Aaaaaand the library closes at 9PM, so from then on I was forced to do without.
Forced.

I read 5 Nicholas Sparks books in 2 weeks. No joke.

Actually, I semi-chose to wait. Since I'm travelling so much for work, it didn't really make sense to pay for wifi I wasn't using.

But I've reached my breaking point, so if I can ever drag myself away from the beauty that is Netflix (thanks Kevin and Liz for letting me use your account!!!), I'll be blogging a tad more often.
I do have 32 drafts I could work on....

However, I might be eating my own words since I'm still quite a ways away from being "fully funded" and have to keep going until that's done.

Shameless plug:
The Lord has been pushing me to use every possible resource at my fingertips (quite literally at this moment), it is now that I humbly ask that if you and yours are at all interested in joining my monthly support team and helping me to get back on campus, please contact me. I'm not going to post the info here to keep a semblance of privacy for my organization, but if you contact me directly, I would be more than thrilled to chat with you about how you can directly help to build a Culture of Life.

Thanks and I promise to write soon!!!

xo, mo

Not Alone Series: Can/Should a Woman Pursue a Man?

This is a topic that my friends (girls and guys alike) and I have argued about discussed numerous times and I know that everyone has a slightly different opinion, so I'm excited to read what others think!!!

Alright. In thinking about this topic, I'll admit that I find myself having conflicting opinions. It's a dilemma.
And so in order to better organize my thoughts and therefore to make for easier reading, I'm going to break it down a bit this week.

Men are Hunters

Ok, cheesy, but it's true. Men were created to be protectors and hunters and pursuers.
They have an innate desire to be the ones to step up to a challenge and conquer.
I'm not suggesting that we should view women as something to conquer, no. But in understanding that men were created this way, we can understand that perhaps this is how it is meant to be. Perhaps men are to be the ones who "chase".

I had someone tell me once that if a woman pursues a man, gone is the "challenge"
...if the guy doesn't like the girl, he might accept her pursuit and start something up because it was the easiest option at the moment...but he likely won't appreciate/value what they have because he didn't have to fight for it.
On the other hand, if the guy does like the girl who's pursuing him, he might feel like she's taking his job, or revoking part of his manly duty.

I'm not sure that I completely agree with this, however, I have seen relationships that start up (and are really unhealthy) simply because the girl threw herself at the guy and he just wanted to be with someone. Not good.

So Women Are to Sit and Wait?!

Ugh. I don't know.
This is where I begin to disagree with myself.

Because let's be honest, it doesn't make sense that a woman should be able to just sit and wait and have Prince Charming come and sweep her away. (believe me, I've tried that)

This goes back to the NAS Challenge from a few weeks ago....if we aren't putting anything out there to take a step toward our vocation, then how do we expect to receive anything?

I had this realization a couple months after I graduated from college....how the heck do we expect guys to want to pursue us if we don't give them ANY inclination that we're interested? I feel like sometimes we Christian women take the whole "let a man pursue you" to the extreme. Allowing men to pursue to doesn't mean sit in a coffeeshop with a scowl on your face and avoiding eye contact and then be upset because the cute guy you noticed didn't approach you.

I just immediately thought of Nikki's NAS challenge and remember how proud I was of her for deciding to try to smile more often...and the results she had were amazing!!!

I mean, ladies, let's put ourselves in the guys' shoes.
If you see a cute girl you recognize from class or the gym or church, but she never makes eye contact, never a smile in your direction, no inclination that she just might be interested in talking to you....what would you do?
I can tell you right now that there's no way in heck I would try to strike up a conversation! I would be more likely to approach the girl who noticed me, made eye contact, and smiled. That's it. For many confident guys, that's all it would take.

Can vs Should

"Can women pursue men?" is very different from "Should women pursue men?"

So yes, women physically can pursue men, but should we? I'm not so sure.
I think there's a delicate line to walk between being open and approachable and being the desperate throwing-herself-at-you girl.

As far as the particulars go, I'm no expert, but I make an effort to not be the one to always text or call or whatever. Any guy I'm interested in is going to have to put some work in too. I'm not going to ask him on a date or approach him for his number.
But I will invite him to come with a group of friends to a party or dinner and I might even *gasp* walk up and introduce myself if I've never met him before (depending on the setting of course...)

I'm not a proponent of the motto of "today's women" that screams "who says girls can't ask a guy out? there's no rules!" Because like everything in life, there is an order and all of that was put in place by the one who knows what he's doing.

So what do you think? Can/should women pursue men? Does it matter? Hop on over to Jen's to see what others are saying and to link-up your post!

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Next week's topic:

Fave Mom Blogs

We can't always relate to them, but we can learn a TON! Plus, we want them to know how much we love them, too!

September 24: NFP, baby! ;)
So, who's begun charting?! How is it going? What advice do you have/what method do you use? If you haven't, is something holding you back? Are you considering starting up?

October 1: Careers as a Vocation?
How do we know what God's call is for us if we are focused on our careers? Is it appropriate to focus on that career and then get married/enter religious life later? Or maybe the call/vocation IS the career and you could be single?

October 8: Fav Recipes... for one!Link-up your favorite one-person meal recipes! It's hard to cook for one sometimes and we could all use some help!

October 15: Chastity as a Single PersonPhysical or Emotional. What are your struggles? How do you overcome them?

October 22: PatienceDo you find yourself becoming really impatient, or struggling with your life to "really" begin? If so, how do you combat it? Do you do anything? How can we support one another in this area?


Jen and I are so still SO thrilled that the Not Alone Series is still going so well. :) Have you been enjoying it? Do you think anything needs to change? Frequency of posts still good? Is letting you know the topics ahead of time helpful? We just like to check-in every so often to make sure this is actually fruitful for you. We are always open to other ideas/changes/suggestions.

And as always, in order to keep these posts going, we need your suggestions! Jen and I only have so many ideas!! ...well, maybe that's not true...but this isn't just about what WE want to talk about, it's about ALL of us! Email me, email Jen, tweet me or Jen, smoke signal...whatever works!

blessed.

I couldn't help but overhear a young girl (college aged) talking in a coffeeshop the other day about her entire faith life journey.

She was telling her friend about how her family jumped from church to church and how she struggled to ever find a place where she felt at home. Her family would choose different churches based on what they were looking for at that point in their lives but when they would outgrow a church, they'd move on.

It sounded like she had finally found a faith community that she loved, but there was so much hurt in her voice when she spoke of her past. That restlessness. That searching for "the right fit".

I sat there trying not to eavesdrop. Trying to pretend like I was actually working on work rather than listening to her story.

As I knelt in Adoration last night, I couldn't help but remember this conversation.
It's times like these that I'm reminded of how grateful for the Truth of the Catholic Church.
I feel so blessed to have been raised in the Church.
While I've had my own search for Truth and belonging, I always knew deep down that I could go to the Church for answers to my endless questions.

Thank you Jesus for your Church.
And thank you for your love.

Not Alone Series: Peace

This week, we posed the questions "Where do you find peace? How do you keep it? If you struggle finding/keeping peace, what's holding you back?"

(inspired by Jen's Follow the Peace post)

When I was a freshman in college, I knew a missionary who forever changed my perspective on "peace".

She would talk about certain situations or people she'd encountered that "took her peace" and how she would avoid anything that could potentially take her peace.

I'd never thought about peace in that way, and now we're talking about not only how to keep that peace, but where to find it! I can think of lots of things that take my peace, but I think it's much more productive to identify what DOES bring me peace so I can continue to seek those things out!

Productivity

Ending a day when I've accomplished so much brings me peace. I like being a productive person. I LOVE lists and being able to cross most (if not all!) of it off brings me waves of peace that stay with me. To keep this peace I try to avoid anything that will stand in the way of my productiveness. Like multiple coffee breaks or too many trips out of the office. I try to consolidate my day and make a P.O. run at the same time as Office Depot to make the most of my time.

Not being lazy

I find peace when I give my all throughout my day. It's when I hit the snooze button too many times, or waste time on Facebook at work, or take a too-long lunch, or just don't get enough done that I lose my peace. This links with the first point, but they're different because I can not be lazy on the weekends without being super productive. I make an effort on a daily basis to shake off laziness in order to keep my peace. I always feel unsettled going to bed at night when I know that I was just a slug of a person that day.

Sacraments

The beauty of our Catholic faith is that I can receive this source of peace on the daily. But it's when my laziness gets in the way that this peace is stolen from me. Ugh. I have the opportunity to go to mass and/or confession every. single. day. [since my office is right under the chapel] But as much as I know that mass ALWAYS brings me peace, there are days when I just can't tear myself away from work. It's frustrating. So I try to schedule it into my day (or better yet, put it on my to-do list!) and make it a priority.

Prayer

Being centered in prayer gives me the peace I need to keep chugging along. Even if I only pray in the morning and at night before bed, I really try to make SOME time to speak with our Lord. One thing that really helps me is to always be praying a novena or something like that. I've prayed multiple novenas to St. Anne and St. Joseph and Pray More Novenas helps with that, too!

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm excited to read about how YOU find peace! Share and link up below!

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Next week's topic:

Should/can women pursue men?

What do you think? Any and all perspectives welcome!!!

Jen and I are making a new topic schedule! Is there anything you'd like to talk about? Please email me or email Jen and let us know! We want to write about what YOU'RE interested in! :)

Not Alone Series: Britt's Survey!

Britt emailed us a few weeks ago with the idea to do a survey of sorts and I was so excited. These surveys bring me back to the days of email chain surveys...ahh fond memories :)

But really, I think it's a great way for us to get to know one another better!

And you be forewarned, I'm a big fan of over-explaining.

Heeeeere we gooooo!

1. Age

I am a ripe ol' age of 23 :)

2. Area of country (be as specific or vague as your comfort levels allow :)

I'm preeetty sure if you poked around in my various social media accounts, you'd find my exact location, but for now I'll say Central Illinois. I was raised about an hour outside of Chicago and did my undergrad at ISU.

3. # of previous relationships (....as in, at least "FB official")

Well, if we're only going with FB offish, then I have been in two relationships. Although the first wasn't FB offish because I didn't have FB until freshman year of college and we dated my senior year of high school.

Maybe I'll write more sometime about my past relationships/what I learned (I just realized that I haven't really talked about them) ...but basically it's been a little over 3 years since my last relationship.

4. What do you do with your life? School? Work? Both? Neither?

I graduated from college with my degree in Psychology in 2012 and was offered a job exactly a week later :)
I currently work full-time in the Pro-Life movement (though I choose to refrain from saying which organization I work for)

5. What's your family like? (let's see some pics!)

Ahhhh my family. They're great. I'm the eldest of 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. I did a series on them back when I first started blogging. 

post-mass photo op

It's me, Tommy (21), Michael (20), and Tara (17).

PS I'm the shortest in my fam at 5'10''
L to R: Michael, Morgan, Tara, Tommy

My parents are fabulous too and we as a family are super tight-knit.
(our initials go as such: JJMTMT...pretty funny :)

But that's just my immediate family. We're also really close with both sides of my extended family. 

My dad is the youngest of 8 kids and we're blessed to be close with our aunts, uncles, and cousins. 

This is most of my Dad's side...we're missing one of my cousins and her family.

And my mom is the eldest of 3 and her family...oh man, they're crazy. Like in the best way possible.

this is from 2011, but it's the most recent group pic we've got!
and we're missing one of my cousins and his family :(

cousin tradition! squeeze on Granny's couch!
little Lilly is the first great-grandchild! she's a doll!

Uncle Tom is who we get all the crazy genes from...

But I think one of the things I love most about my family is that we know our extended family. That's one thing that's always been important to my parents. I know my great-aunts and uncles on both sides as well as my 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc cousins. We not only know our extended extended family, but we're close with them, too!
And we LOVE family vacations and we LOVE family reunions and we LOVE family holidays.
Some people tolerate their families...we soak time up with them as often as possible :)

P.S. both of my brothers are single, soooo if you're interested...jkjk. kind of. ;)

6. How did your parents meet? (let's hear the story!!)

My parents met on a blind date set up by my great-grandmother.
No joke.

Some background knowledge: my great-grandpa died when my mom was 12 but my great-grandma remarried when she was in her 60s and my (step)great-grandpa was the only one I ever knew. He had 3 sons so when they married, my mom inherited (step)uncles and some (step)aunts (therefore my step great uncles and aunts).

You're welcome for the family history. You'll need it later.

So my mom was living with my GGs after she graduated from college and earned some extra cash by cleaning for her (step)aunt. While dusting the family photos, she asked who one of the guys was and jokingly asked if he was single because he was kinda cute. Turns out my aunt had a younger (and single!) brother. My aunt talked to GGma and she thought it was a GREAT idea. Grandma had met Dad all of maybe two times, but she knew he was cute and polite, so hey, what else do you need?

Before they went out for the first time, my GGpa was talking my dad up with all sorts of flattery...
"he's a good Catholic boy!" .... "he's got a good job!" ... "he likes to play cards!"

That last one reeeeally got my mom thinking he was a winner ;)

So aaaaanyway, my dad drove up from Chicagoland to Milwaukee where my mom was living and they danced all night...literally.
Because the bars never closed. You just lifted your feet up for them to sweep underneath.

**CURSE YOU IL WITH YOUR 2AM LAST-CALLS!!!!**

Which would explain why they were out until 4AM "talking".

At which point my dad drove my mom home and my GGma was up waiting for her.
Since he was a scaredy cat, Dad didn't walk Mom up to the door, but she understood.
GGma was scary when she was mad.

But they both knew that it was love and 2 years later, they wed!
Which then turned my mom's great aunt into her sister-in-law. It's not weird if you know the story.

And that, folks, is why I would never turn down a blind date set-up...sometimes it works out!

7. Confirmation saint name and why (if you were Catholic at that point in your journey)

I made my confirmation during my sophomore year of high school (normal for our parish) and I chose St. Cecilia as my confirmation saint name. I chose her, first because I love music and second because Cecelia is my maternal grandmother's middle name.

8. Favorite Gospel?

Ok, I'll be honest...I don't really have one. I love them all and haven't ever done a study of the Gospels so I'm not biased. But I do love John 3:16 so I'll choose John :)

9. What are the top three qualities you're looking for in a husband? (who knows, maybe one of us has a cousin or friend to connect you with! ;)

haha I love this question and the reasoning behind it! Can we assume that "Catholic" is a given? I'm going to say so :) ...with that out of the way, my top three qualities are:

1. He must be kind and affectionate

Hopefully this is self-explanatory...but authentic kindness is so important as well as affection. Maybe these two qualities don't naturally go hand in hand, but I guess I've always associated them with one another.

2. He must be intelligent

I've dated guys before who couldn't carry on a conversation about anything but sports...he doesn't have to be a rocket scientist, but I want to be able to rant about autism theories or philosophical topics and for him to be able to keep up AND contribute!

3. He must be tall (at least 6'0'')

Maybe this sounds superficial, but it's important to me...thus far, I haven't been attracted to shorter guys. Plus, I think there's a certain comfort that comes with being with a guy who you know can protect you...shouldn't have to be the other way around.

10. If you've done online dating, do you have any advice or experiences to share?

I've never done online dating, but I would say it's important to be 100% honest and upfront with what you're looking for. That way, people know exactly what they're going to get. (ex: being upfront about looking for a chaste relationship, etc.)

11. Tweetable single-lady advice (140 characters or less of what you'd say to other single ladies)

seek to become the most authentic YOU you can be. seek to be happy AS YOU ARE. seek to live in the NOW. seek to soak in TODAY. #NAS
— Morgan McFarlin (@thatprolifegirl) August 27, 2013

12. What is your favorite thing to do outside of blogging and work/school?

Fact about me: I don't just have one favorite, so I can't narrow this down. Outside of work, there's not much free time (since my hours are usually late morning-ish to 9 or 10PM) and when I'm not having major writers block (read: almost always), most of my free time is writing posts. BUT I have hobbies! I do.

I like to sew. I LOVE to read (with no internet in my apt, I read 3 books last week). I like crafts...painting things and such. I like to cook and bake. I like to sing and jam with people (I was in a worship band in college).

BUT really, if I have a bunch of free time, I love hanging out with my friends. Especially ones with babies. And more often than not, I spend my free weekends helping my friends do something in their homes...usually painting, but I am also a GREAT caulk-er. As if on cue for this post, Sunday night I painted said baby-having friend's kitchen.
It was great.

Answer these questions and link-up with us over at Jen's!

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Next week's topic:

Peace

Where do you find it and how do you keep it?

(inspired by Jen's Follow the Peace post)

8/13: Should/can women pursue men?
What do you think? Any and all perspectives welcome!!!