Not Alone Series: Social Media

Our lives tend to revolve around social media and knowing what's happening in everyone's lives. How has this effected your life? In your experience, has social media made dating easier? Harder? 

i.e. not judging something you see about the guy you're dating on Twitter/FB

Jen suggested this topic after the following video was floating around, you guessed it, social media.

Kind of ironic that a video encouraging us to ditch the phones and "constant connections" went viral.

Have you seen it? Did it make you think?

When I first watched this video, I really wanted to throw my (brand new barely had it for a week) phone out the window.
....and 5 minutes later I was texting and checking Instagram as usual.

But I will say this: since seeing this video, I've become more aware of my, and others', usage of technology when in a social setting.

I spent this weekend with my best friends from college. The six of us haven't all been together since a wedding two years ago. Since then, one has been married for nearly 2 year, two got engaged, and one is about to move to Texas. We have TONS to talk about.

So cute!

But you know what kept happening throughout the time we spent together?
Even when the conversation was moving along, somene would be checking her phone.
Occasionally, someone would be texting.
There were even times when we were all silent and some of us were zoned out while the others checked Facebook, Instagram, what have you.

Y'all, we have PLENTY to talk about. Exciting things are happening! We haven't spent this much quality time together in TWO YEARS!

Yet, a portion of our weekend was spent forsaking one another for the glow of our phones.

Now, I'm not perfect. I certainly could learn to leave my phone zipped in my purse more often.
Even during the time that I've been writing this post, I've checked Facebook a couple times.

What is with our constant need to be connected?
Is the world going to crumble if you don't tweet your feelings at.this.very.moment.?
Will your food taste less delicious if you don't first 'gram a picture of it?
What would happen if you didn't text your friend back right.now.?

Yesterday, (Happy Memorial Day!) I went to a barbecue at a friend's house. I had a lot to carry, so when I got out of my car, I put my phone in my purse so I could use both hands for the loot.
And you know what happened?
I got to the party, dropped my purse at the door, got talking, and forgot about my phone for 4+ hrs.

There were a couple times throughout the evening when I thought "oh, I wonder if so-and-so texted me back...oh, I wonder if so-and-so emailed me....oh, I wonder if so-and-so posted pictures from this weekend..."
But despite the ingrained habit of constantly being connected, I was immediately sucked back into the present. Instead, I was able to focus entirely on the person in front of me, to give my undivided attention to them.

I'm sure you know how frustrating it is when the person you're talking to keeps checking their phone. It feels like they don't really care about what you have to say, as if they wish that you'd just shut up already.
Do you know how that feels? I definitely do.

So then, why would I do that to someone else?

I'm making an effort to be more present in the present moment.
Will you join me?

**And in regards to dating and social media, my advice is this:

Googling your date: not a bad thing
Analyzing your date's tagged pictures and freaking out about the girls he has his arm around: bad thing.

Social media can be our friend, but shouldn't replace normal human interaction.

What do you think about social media? How has it influenced your life? What about your dating life?
Link up below!

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Next week's topic:

NAS year in review

June 4th, 2013 was the very first NAS post! How has your life changed in the past year? How has the NAS community impacted you? Where would you like to see the NAS go in the future?

St. Gianna Beretta Molla {Guest Post at Cherishing Everyday Beauty}

Happy Saturday, all!

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm guest posting over at Sarah's blog, Cherishing Everyday Beauty, today! Here's a sneak peek...

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My freshman year of college, I attended a retreat held by the Newman Center called "Koinonia" (Greek for community). Every retreat had a patron saint chosen for the weekend and my retreat's patron saint was St. Gianna Beretta Molla. Our tagline for the weekend was "Love courageously!"

This weekend was where I really began to dive further into my faith and relationship with God. Looking back, the fact that St. Gianna was the patron saint of a retreat that kickstarted my faith journey seems extremely providential, but I'll get to that a bit later.

Ever since I first learned of St. Gianna, I loved her.

I loved her story, I loved her life, I loved her devotion to love....

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Click over to Cherishing Everyday Beauty to read the rest! While you're there, check out the other posts in her Saints Series! 

Have a beautiful day!

7 Quick Takes (29)

Well well well what do we have here?! A non-NAS post?! WOAH. Yep, that's right...I'm making a come-back people! Brace yourselves! :) Linking up with Jen in an attempt to ease myself back into the land of the blogging. :)

[1] This past weekend I had the absolutely WORST bout of allergies EVER. Perhaps it was mixed with a sinus infection, but regardless...Happy Mother's Day, Mom...now can you take my temperature?

Yes I am a 24 year old adult and still want my mommy to take care of me when I'm sick.

The good news is that with all of the rain we've had this week, pollen counts are plummeting!
Hello breathing easy!

The bad news is that with all of the rain we've had this week....it's been raining all week.
Hello humidity and crazy curls!

Furrr realzz.

[2] I've ready for some warm weather...heck, I'd settle for sunny and 55°. But thanks to Audrey's post on cute spring shoes, I'm back in my optimistic, "the sun will come out tomorrow let's hope maybe if the rain doesn't ruin it" mood :)

I'm pining for these babies.

[3] I cannot believe that I've yet to mention this in a blog post. If you've been around for any length of time (before I went all AWOL), you'll know that I have a severe attachment to the Patton clan.
Some would call me a stalker, I prefer affectionately attentive. I think they're cool with it.

But aaanyway, can we just pause for a moment and acknowledge:

a) how freaking cute/adorable/perfect little Miss Phoebe is?
b) how freaking cute/adorable/perfect the name "Phoebe Patton" is?
c) how much I love the 4 kid grams? LOVE.
d) how much I want Simace to adopt me. Please? I do diapers.

Lemme know, Grace. I'm (affectionately) yours :)

[4] Also, don't ask me how many times I've watched this video of the Patton kids meet their newest sib.
No, really...don't. If I answer I just might have to admit I have a problem.

[5] Move on, Morgan....

Ok, so have y'all heard 6' 2'' by Marie Miller? I know I've seen it shared by others before, but I stumbled upon it again and AH...love.



Plus, turns out she's Catholic. I loved this article about how true and natural this desire/longing/etc for your spouse is. Solidarity, people!

[6] While I'm talking about music, I've been real sentimental lately thinking about how my baby sister is graduating from high school in a couple weeks. ahhhh when did she grow up?! ...and Compass by Lady Antebellum reminds me of her and this place in life.



My favorite line:

"So let your heart, sweetheart be your compass when you're lost and you should follow it wherever it may go"

This should be true for everyone, but especially as a soon-to-be HS grad...it's important :) I'm real pumped though that she'd decided to attend my alma mater and will only be 45 mins from me! Yay!

[7] I'm so excited for the next few weeks! I found out a little while ago that I was accepted into the 2014 Vita Institute at Notre Dame! I'll be staying on campus for a little more than a week at the beginning of June and studying various subjects in relation to the pro-life movement including philosophy, politics, law, social science, biology, etc. I cannot wait!

Well, that wasn't so hard! Maybe I'll be able to crank out another post in 3 months ;)
Have a lovely weekend! Check out the other Quick Takers over at Jen's!

Not Alone Series: If you were called to religious life...

Hello! See below for the next few weeks' topics!

This week's topic was suggested by Laura!

While most of us feel called to marriage, it is important to see the beauty in all vocations! If/when you were discerning religious life, which communities interest(ed) you? What do you see as the positives of that vocation?

During my sophomore year of college, I discerned that I was called to marriage. And because I'd felt God had been totally clear, I never approached that topic again. Onwards and upwards toward marriage.

And then a couple months ago, doubt crept in.

"What if you're supposed to be a nun?"

"Maybe that's why you're still single..."

I'd never felt doubt like that before. Oh man, I was freaking out.

Was this from God? Or was it the enemy? Should I re-discern? Or should I stay the course?

Thank God for the silent retreat I attended, where I had the best spiritual direction of my life.

I met with the wisest Sister I've ever known, and I am so grateful for her advice. She told me that there's no danger in continuing discernment, even if you think you know what you're called to. Your vocation has been already been chosen, so if I'm called to marriage, only more clarity can come from learning more about religious life and religious communities. So, that's what I decided to do! After all, if I truly want to live the Lord's plan for my life, shouldn't I be open to whatever that plan is?

During the past few weeks, I entered spiritual direction with the aforementioned Sister and did a lot of soul-searching, praying, surrendering, and opening myself up to whatever the Lord wants.

Oh, and I watched the Light of Love film which is INCREDIBLE. 

Please watch it. I loved learning about different religious Sisters and their lives! It's so awesome what the Lord can do!

I've since been reconfirmed in my original discernment - I believe that the Lord has created me for marriage. 

This questioning, I believe, came from a place of fear: fear that God has forgotten about me, fear of having no control, etc. Being called to marriage is scary! You have no control over when you will meet Mr. Right... and I really like control. With religious life, at least you can make the decision to enter an order. 

I caution you against this way of thinking, friends. It's a dangerous slope, which can easily turn into you choosing the wrong vocation simply because of some perceived "control". No good.

But in attempting to reopen myself to religious life has allowed me to remember the beauty of that vocation and learn more about certain communities.

If I did have a call to religious life, I would expect that I'd be drawn to communities like the Missionaries of Charity or the Salesians of Don Bosco. I have a heart for ministry, so I think that would be something I'd desire to keep focused on. During my silent retreat (which wasn't so silent), we watched this video on Mother Teresa, which really spoke to my heart...especially the part with the babies at the orphanage! But there are so many other kinds of orders out there, my research has barely scratched the surface! Like what about the Dominicans of St. Cecilia, the Sisters of Life, or the Daughters of St. Paul?

One of my friends is a cloistered Carmelite and I don't think I could ever do that. We're all called to contemplative prayer, but my soul is not made to be cloistered!

I was just trying to count how many friends of mine are now religious Sisters or intending to enter religious life....I want to say it's about...10? Plus I have a great aunt who was a Sister....oh, and my Grandpa Lynch once dated Mother Dolores.

What I see to be the most beautiful part about religious life is how you're able to give yourself totally and completely to God. As a religious, one marries our Lord and from thereon, every second of one's life is devoted to Him! What a gift! It would be incredible to be able to serve anyone, anywhere, in whatever way was needed. Because that's what you're called to do as a religious!

A married woman gives herself to God in a a different way...through sacrifice to her husband and children. It's a calling as necessary and beautiful, but different.

I've heard before that religious life is a higher calling than marriage. Technically, this is true, since being married to God is as close to heaven as we can get on earth. However, that doesn't mean that religious life is better than marriage. We were all made for one vocation in particular. During my re-discernment, I struggled seeking what that Lord created me for rather than what I've heard in the past as being "better".

If you are called to marriage, that is what's best for you. That doesn't mean that one is better than the other, but your heart was made for one specific vocation. Don't allow your mind to lead you away from what your heart was made for.

ANYWAY. Marriage is awesome. Religious life is awesome.

If for no other reason, I hope that this time I've taken to explore religious life will help me to be encouraging of vocations to religious life in my family, my friends, perhaps my children or nieces and nephews.

I can't wait to hear from you! Have you looked into any religious orders? What do you see in religious life that is appealing? Link up below and check out Jen's post!

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Next week's topic:

Making Friends

We LOVE the NAS community, but creating a real-life community is essential to our lives! What have been your struggles in making friends as a young adult? Do you have any advice for those struggling to build community post-college?

5/27: Social MediaOur lives tend to revolve around social media and knowing what's happening in everyone's lives. How has this effected your life? In your experience, has social media made dating easier? Harder? i.e. not judging something you see about the guy you're dating on Twitter/FB

6/3: NAS year in reviewJune 4th, 2013 was the very first NAS post! How has your life changed in the past year? How has this community impacted you?

Not Alone Series: Selfish Singles

Hello ladies! I hope you're all having a blessed Holy Week!

I'm especially excited about this week's topic as it is something I've struggled with for a while now!

How do you combat being selfish with your time? As a single person, it's easy to get caught up in our own little independent world. There are those moments when we are needed for extra church things, hanging with our friend's kids, getting caught up with something on the one night you could stay in, etc. where we get frustrated that the needs of others are taking away from our own time. How do you avoid this selfish tendency and what do you do to avoid becoming frustrated with "sharing" you time with others?

Here's the thing, I've grown to LOVE my independence. The ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want is so liberating. And so when at the beginning of this year I resolved to make the most of my free time, I took full advantage.

My weekends were spent sleeping in, reading, watching movies, and doing....nothing. It was glorious.
But after a couple of weekends spent in this way, I began to feel empty. Like I could be doing something more than just serving myself.

So I began helping as a CCD aide on the Sunday mornings that I'm in town. And what's funny, friends, is that the more you give, the more you desire to give. I've found that as I give a little bit here and there, my desire to continue to serve and give of myself grows. As much as I love sleeping in on Sundays, it occurred to me this weekend that I want to give more! So I'm now discerning which grade level the Lord wants me to teach next year as the primary CCD instructor.

Look, these years of our lives are a blessing in that we do have a lot of freedom, flexibility, and free-time. But in sacrificing, I've found more fulfillment than I ever did doing nothing with my weekends.

I was telling a friend this weekend about my tank concept and how important giving back is to my "self-esteem tank". Upon hearing this, he exclaimed: "But Morgan! Your whole life is giving back!"
That might be true...my full-time job is one of ministry and involves much sacrifice and service.
HOWEVER. That cannot be an excuse for my lack of giving back in other ways.
Believe me, there's that little voice in my head every Sunday morning saying: "Oh, you don't really need to go help with CCD...you worked so hard already this week! Don't you deserve a break?" ....and I can't let that voice win. We are all called to serve, no matter our occupation or calling.

How about you? In what areas of your life can you shift from self-service to one of serving others?

Maybe you have friends who could use a babysitter a couple times a month so they can go out by themselves. Or maybe there's a soup kitchen you can help out with on Saturday mornings. Or what about your parish's Religious Education? There is always a need for teachers! Most parish's have the opportunity to usher or help in the nursery during mass. Can you find time to give back in some way?

I watched the following video on my retreat last weekend and AH. I encourage you to watch it, I was truly inspired to do whatever little things I can to make the world a better place.



And friends, frustration will happen.
This Sunday, I had CCD, a work meeting with my students, and I was booked to babysit for friends. AND I desperately wanted to be able to make it to brunch with friends. It was annoying to have to try to juggle everything and not resent my "giving" commitments. But our Lord is always faithful and helps to make it all work! In these times, I take a deep breath and ask that the Holy Spirit help me to be present in whatever I am doing. It helps!

Link up below with your post on how you combat being selfish with your time as a single person!

And check out our Facebook group!

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Next week's topic:

Marriage

Most of us here feel called to the vocation of marriage...but what is it exactly that you're attracted to? What have you seen in others' marriages that you've learned from or would do differently? (maybe this is from married friends or your parents!)

Not Alone Series: Goals and Lent

Remember our first post this year? How are the goals you set going? Regardless of how your goals are going, how are you utilizing this Lent to continue to strive for those goals?

Way way back in January, I wrote about my focus on humility this year. While I didn't set any specific goals, I definitely need to grow in this area. Natalie noted that in asking for humility, I'm asking for opportunities to be humbled. And surprise! she was right :) Well, it's a good thing I like a challenge!

The past couple of months have helped me to better analyze what parts of my life need pruning and shaping and some TLC. 

I struggle with humility, yeah? But what does that mean? How can I just "work on humility"?

It seems rather vague, don't you think?

But just last week I came to a realization that I'm excited to share with all of you.

I went into work on Wednesday feeling great. I was refreshed, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I am NOT a morning person (be forewarned, Savannah NAS Trip ladies :) but for some reason, I was ready to take on the day! 

Preach.

Upon reflection, I chalked it up to the girls night out that I had on Tuesday evening with some really wonderful people. And I kept thinking "My social 'tank' is full! I need to be sure to keep that 'tank' full if I want to keep feeling this way!" But the truth is, I have more than one tank that needs to be filled....and because I like lists and tangible goals of how to complete something, And I'm a slight perfectionist....so if I can look at a list of things and say "oh, well I succeeded in most of my goals this week", that is so much better for me than not being able to tangibly assess my "success". So here are my "tanks" and how I'm keeping them full!

Faith Tank 

(ex: daily mass at least 3x/week, confession 2x/mo, etc.)

Social Tank 

(ex: at least 1 social event/week, at least 1 catch-up phone call/week, etc.)

Health Tank 

(ex: work out at least 3x/week, eat at least 3 complete, well-rounded dinners/week, etc.)

Self-Esteem Tank 

(ex: "give back" 1x/week, take time each morning to put myself together for the day, etc.)

Rest Tank 

(ex: get 7 hrs of sleep/night, take one weekend-day morning to relax, etc.)

Mental Tank 

(ex: do something creative 1x/week, read before bed each night, etc.)

Productivity Tank 

(ex: tidy up home every evening, only take 1 break before lunch and 1 after lunch, etc.)

Financial Tank 

(ex: check online account 1x/week, tithe every week, etc.)

Truthfully, the above "tanks" are simply needs that I have. My dominating temperament is Sanguine, so having social interaction in groups of all sizes (though I LOVE big groups!) is really important to me. And I struggle with Phlegmatic vices...procrastination and laziness are huge obstacles for me...which is why having lists and specific goals works for me. And this has become somewhat of a game these past few days, trying to see how many of my goals I can accomplish! To fulfill my Mental goals, I'm teaching myself how to play the guitar! For my Faith goals, I needed a push to go on a silent retreat this upcoming weekend - BAM! Let's do it!

I share this all with you because well, I know that YOU have tanks that need to be filled! Maybe your social tank doesn't need to be filled as often due to different circumstances (I work in my own office and with college students all day...I NEED adult interaction!), or perhaps your faith tank has different needs. But if you're anything like me, only a couple of these tanks are being well-maintained. Personally, I am good about keeping my Social, Mental, and Financial Tanks full....but the others? Not so much. 

But that's ok! What better time to make a change than during Lent? What a beautiful and generous gift from our Church! Who else has a whole liturgical season devoted to penitence and improvement?! I'm so grateful for this time to really focus on becoming the best version of myself for our Lord.

I think this relates to my goal for the year because it takes humility to be able to look at your life and evaluate areas where you need to improve...and while it wasn't easy coming up with specific goals for myself, posting some of them on here has a sense of accountability :) I posted this on the internet! Now I have to follow-through!

What about you? Are some of your "tanks" neglected? I challenge you to take an honest look at what needs you have and take the step toward change!

And how are your goals going from the beginning of the year? Have you had to make adjustments? Tell us about how Lent is helping (or not helping?) you to strive closer to your most authentic self! Link up below!

Next week's topic:

Do's and Don'ts of First Dates

What are those things that we should be doing, and the things that we shouldn't be doing? They can be from the physical parts (clothes to wear, places to go, things to say) or emotional parts (talking about it all the time, planning the future, etc). We can all learn something in hindsight, so what are your tips to share?

April 15th: Selfish Singles

How do you combat being selfish with your time? As a single person, it's easy to get caught up in our own little independent world. There are those moments when we are needed for extra church things, hanging with our friend's kids, getting caught up with something on the one night you could stay in, etc. where we get frustrated that the needs of others are taking away from our own time. How do you avoid this selfish tendency and what do you do to avoid becoming frustrated with "sharing" you time with others?

April 22nd: Marriage

Most of us here feel called to the vocation of marriage...but what is it exactly that you're attracted to? What have you seen in others' marriages that you've learned from or would do differently? (maybe this is from married friends or your parents!)