Not Alone Series: Lent

We're about half-way through Lent...how's it going? What did you decide to give up or take up? Did you make any spiritual goals? How have you grown thus far and how do you hope to make the most of the remainder of this season?

It seems insane that just next week is Holy Week! Insane!

My Lent has flown. One might understand this to mean that my Lent has been wonderful and therefore has flown...however, it's been a rollercoaster of happenings.

God has a way of stretching me, taking seasons to help me grow, and even if I can see that this is His intent in the midst of these periods, I have a hard time appreciating these opportunities.

This Lent has been a rollercoaster of emotions and events. Some extreme highs and some lows. I'm being challenged day after day to pick up my cross, one that I love and simultaneously despise, and follow after the One who gave His all for me.

I chose to give up a couple of things this Lent, one of these being music in the car. I've started to feel overstimulated in this world, so I thought this could be a good way to quiet my mind and heart. The one exception I've given myself is when I'm on a long drive, since I travel some for work and other life events and music is usually the only thing that keeps me alert on the road.

So, when this past weekend I drove more than 700 miles, I had a good amount of music time.

I've become re-obsessed with NEEDTOBREATHE and had one of their CDs in my car (yes, I'm an old lady with CDs...get over it)....this was really the only album I listened to for all of those 700+ miles. I'm the type who, when I find a song I LOVE, I listen to it on repeat for hours.

"Garden" is one of these such songs. (though the entire album is perfection. take a listen.)

The subject matter is clear from the title, but the first lyrics set the scene perfectly in the Garden of Gethsemane:

Won't you take this cup from me
'Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you'll save their souls with it

I've been hearing repeatedly in sermon and personal prayer that I must attempt to align my suffering with that of our Lord on the cross. But, I forget about the pre-cross scene.

Jesus is fully God and fully man. He had full knowledge of what was to occur and this frightened Him. He stepped into His fear despite knowing what was to come, but He too had to surrender to the will of His Father.

I forget this. Too often, I forget this. While I'm over in my corner suffering and crying out in anguish, I forget that Jesus did the same. I forget that my Savior also had doubts, He also had fears, He is human, just like me. (except that I'm just fully human) His suffering had a purpose, my salvation. I must believe that my suffering, which pales in comparison, has a purpose as well.

And in the same thread, our Lord isn't asking me to be fearless or cast away my doubt, but He is asking me to trust Him. The only way His Father's plan worked was through Jesus' trust, and so I must try my darnedest to trust Him as well.

The chorus of "Garden" reminds me of how I need to be living my day-to-day:

Let the songs I sing bring joy to youLet the words I say confess my loveLet the notes I choose be your favorite tuneFather let my heart be after you

Despite my heartache, despite my fears, despite my loneliness and worry and everything else....the one thing that I can focus on in the turmoil is fixing my eyes and heart on the One who loves me unconditionally.

God doesn't ask for grand gestures. I'm sure He finds joy in my mortifications and self-denial, but ultimately, all He wants from me is my heart. And all He wants from you is your heart. When I feel that I have nothing left to give, when I've been emptied of everything, I still have my heart to be surrendered to my Lord.

And that's all He wants.

So that's how my Lent is going. It's struggle and beauty, all in one.

How is your Lent? Please share your reflections with us in the comments or link-up your post below!

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Next week's topic:

Expectations vs Reality...of the Single Life

Have you ever had people in your life, who have expectations of what your life is as a single person which are different than the reality of your life? Do friends or family ever make assumptions about your life simply because you're unmarried? Did you ever have expectations about being single which turned out to be different than the reality? How do you manage the expectations of others with the reality of your day-to-day?

4/7: Challenge Check-inA couple weeks ago, we set to challenge ourselves! What did you decide on and what did you end up doing? Was this a fruitful experience for you? Why or why not?

4/14: Christian FriendshipWhat does it mean to be a friend based in Christ? Do Christian friends hold each other higher? Do we let certain things go easier? Do we hold each other accountable? How do these friendships differ from non-Christian based friendships? Do the differ? Is one better than the other?

St. Gianna Beretta Molla {Guest Post at Cherishing Everyday Beauty}

Happy Saturday, all!

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm guest posting over at Sarah's blog, Cherishing Everyday Beauty, today! Here's a sneak peek...

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My freshman year of college, I attended a retreat held by the Newman Center called "Koinonia" (Greek for community). Every retreat had a patron saint chosen for the weekend and my retreat's patron saint was St. Gianna Beretta Molla. Our tagline for the weekend was "Love courageously!"

This weekend was where I really began to dive further into my faith and relationship with God. Looking back, the fact that St. Gianna was the patron saint of a retreat that kickstarted my faith journey seems extremely providential, but I'll get to that a bit later.

Ever since I first learned of St. Gianna, I loved her.

I loved her story, I loved her life, I loved her devotion to love....

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Click over to Cherishing Everyday Beauty to read the rest! While you're there, check out the other posts in her Saints Series! 

Have a beautiful day!

Not Alone Series: Selfish Singles

Hello ladies! I hope you're all having a blessed Holy Week!

I'm especially excited about this week's topic as it is something I've struggled with for a while now!

How do you combat being selfish with your time? As a single person, it's easy to get caught up in our own little independent world. There are those moments when we are needed for extra church things, hanging with our friend's kids, getting caught up with something on the one night you could stay in, etc. where we get frustrated that the needs of others are taking away from our own time. How do you avoid this selfish tendency and what do you do to avoid becoming frustrated with "sharing" you time with others?

Here's the thing, I've grown to LOVE my independence. The ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want is so liberating. And so when at the beginning of this year I resolved to make the most of my free time, I took full advantage.

My weekends were spent sleeping in, reading, watching movies, and doing....nothing. It was glorious.
But after a couple of weekends spent in this way, I began to feel empty. Like I could be doing something more than just serving myself.

So I began helping as a CCD aide on the Sunday mornings that I'm in town. And what's funny, friends, is that the more you give, the more you desire to give. I've found that as I give a little bit here and there, my desire to continue to serve and give of myself grows. As much as I love sleeping in on Sundays, it occurred to me this weekend that I want to give more! So I'm now discerning which grade level the Lord wants me to teach next year as the primary CCD instructor.

Look, these years of our lives are a blessing in that we do have a lot of freedom, flexibility, and free-time. But in sacrificing, I've found more fulfillment than I ever did doing nothing with my weekends.

I was telling a friend this weekend about my tank concept and how important giving back is to my "self-esteem tank". Upon hearing this, he exclaimed: "But Morgan! Your whole life is giving back!"
That might be true...my full-time job is one of ministry and involves much sacrifice and service.
HOWEVER. That cannot be an excuse for my lack of giving back in other ways.
Believe me, there's that little voice in my head every Sunday morning saying: "Oh, you don't really need to go help with CCD...you worked so hard already this week! Don't you deserve a break?" ....and I can't let that voice win. We are all called to serve, no matter our occupation or calling.

How about you? In what areas of your life can you shift from self-service to one of serving others?

Maybe you have friends who could use a babysitter a couple times a month so they can go out by themselves. Or maybe there's a soup kitchen you can help out with on Saturday mornings. Or what about your parish's Religious Education? There is always a need for teachers! Most parish's have the opportunity to usher or help in the nursery during mass. Can you find time to give back in some way?

I watched the following video on my retreat last weekend and AH. I encourage you to watch it, I was truly inspired to do whatever little things I can to make the world a better place.



And friends, frustration will happen.
This Sunday, I had CCD, a work meeting with my students, and I was booked to babysit for friends. AND I desperately wanted to be able to make it to brunch with friends. It was annoying to have to try to juggle everything and not resent my "giving" commitments. But our Lord is always faithful and helps to make it all work! In these times, I take a deep breath and ask that the Holy Spirit help me to be present in whatever I am doing. It helps!

Link up below with your post on how you combat being selfish with your time as a single person!

And check out our Facebook group!

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Next week's topic:

Marriage

Most of us here feel called to the vocation of marriage...but what is it exactly that you're attracted to? What have you seen in others' marriages that you've learned from or would do differently? (maybe this is from married friends or your parents!)

Not Alone Series: Masculinity

Who is a great example of masculinity in your life (father, brother, uncle, priest, etc)? 

What is it about them that you love?

Ahhhhhh men.

See what I did there? :)

I've written about an aspect of masculinity before - chivalry - and since I can't seem to get chivalry off of my mind, I suppose this is what I've focusing on again this week.

Now that I'm more attuned to noticing chivalry around me, I appreciate it much more than I did when I was younger. As an angsty teenager, I would roll my eyes when my dad would let each of us go before him in line for communion at mass. I would resent him "taking" my prime realty spot on the end of the pew - perfect for people watching, amiright?

But now, when I go home for the weekend and my dad lets me go in front of him, I have to smile because I know that this is his silent way of loving us.

Hmmmm what other things have I appreciated recently?? OH!

In that post I linked to above, I'll link to it here again, I mentioned a time recently when gentleman helped me with my coat. Oh my gosh. I don't know what it is....but that just makes me feel like a lady.

Like he was nonverbally saying, "oh here, I care enough about you to make sure you stay warm"

Ok, that sounds dumb now that I wrote it out...but does anyone know what I mean?

I am a huge advocate for ladies being ladies and men being men.

There are people who would take this the wrong way and argue "AH! You mean to say that women cannot do everything that a man can do! How sexist!"

Mmmmm no. Not at all.

But what's wrong with ladies being treated like ladies? What's wrong with men stepping up like a man ought?

Here's another example:

I've had the enormous blessing to get to know a number of lovely people here in town lately. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to belong to a community once again. (but that's another post) As a result of this community-building, a few of us decided to attend our parish's trivia night this weekend. It was SO much fun.

My parish's trivia night is more rowdy than most college bars #forreal #lotsofliquor
— Morgan McFarlin (@thatprolifegirl) February 23, 2014

And it was set up as a pot-luck of sorts...soda and desserts were provided, but we were encouraged to share dinner as a table. Well, we had a number of group emails where we couldn't decide how to divvy up dinner responsibilities and finally, two of the men spoke up (wrote up?) and volunteered their cooking expertise. This might not seem all that incredible, but these guys brought homemade country style ribs (SO DELICIOUS) and homemade Chicago style deep-dish pizza (a real treat for us transplanted from the north).

I don't know, I guess I'm so used to the women always being the ones who step up and say "oh, I'll host" or "oh, I'll cook the meal" or "oh, don't worry about it, we'll take care of everything"...it was refreshing for a couple of men to take that role!

Aaaand that's pretty much all I've got! This post wasn't really what I'd anticipated writing, but we want to hear what you think! What are examples of masculinity that you've experienced through men in your life?

Write a post and link it up below!

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Next week's topic:

Bachelorette parties!

It's inevitable that we'll attend or plan a friend's Bachelorette party at some point or another, but how do we make them fun without all the raunch? Give us your ideas for fun things to do with a bridal party without all the crazy!

March 11th: Why not both?

We've been hearing a lot that "married people and single people can't relate to one another". What is your perspective on this? In what ways can we bridge the gap between singles and marrieds?

March 18th: Single life bucket list

What are those things that you want to do before you get married (or enter the religious life)? Is there anything that you're excited to do, accomplish, etc. before engagement, marriage, and babies come along? Even if you feel that you've done everything you wanted to do pre-marriage, dig deeper and see if there isn't anything else you'd like to do!

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As always, please email us any topic suggestions you have! Jen and I want to be talking about things that are a part of your life! Help us plan the next topic schedule! :)

Not Alone Series: "guess who's engaged?!"

Hello dear friends! I do apologize for my absence, I'm just now fully recovered from the past week and a half! I cannot wait to tell you all about the craziness that has been January. 

(WAIT. It's almost FEBRUARY?!)

As my lovely NAS accountability partner knows, one of my additional goals for this new year is to take better care of myself. Even if that means stepping away from my blogging, I need to make my health (and sanity!) a bigger priority. I hope you understand :)

BUT enough with all of that...let's get on with this week's prompt!

Do you struggle with balancing the sting of hearing about yet another proposal with genuine excitement? What emotions come into play? What virtues do you enlist to deal with it all?

Well, we're once again immersed in engagement season, and I'll admit, more than once have I texted Jen saying: 

"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THE SEASON OF FREAKING ENGAGEMENTS. 

I'M NOT BITTER JUST ASKING."

^^^ direct quote ^^^

Here's the thing, y'all. I am so very happy...thrilled, really...for the ladies and gents I know who are newly engaged and over the moon with excitement because this is what they've been waiting for for so long. I am. 

I know that longing, really...I know. 

So the fact that they're taking a step closer to living out their vocation is awesome. Beautiful, really.

But that doesn't make my ache go away.

At times, seeing others' happiness gives me hope that the Lord truly does have a plan for me, too.

And other times, I just want to throw a television off a bridge.

It's realllllly difficult to be happy for others when they have something that I desperately desire.

Ugh. That ugly, green-eyed monster called envy. What is one to do? How am I supposed to genuinely squeal with my best friend whose boyfriend just proposed when deep down I can feel the bubble of bitterness rising? Why is it that beneath my joy for others, there's a fire of rage?

I think some of that comes from a discontent with one's own life. If you're unhappy with your life, OF COURSE you're going to wish you had something else. This easily leads to wishing you have what others have, which very easily leads to jealousy. 

Otherwise known as coveting.

We have a tendency (speaking for myself, assuming that others are the same) to forget that the 10th commandment forbids this impurity of heart.

"You shall not covet your neighbor's goods" does not just apply to material things; we must also not covet immaterial things.

Gosh. That's kinda heavy...

um yeah, because it's Truth.

Ok, but how do we combat this? If I'm striving for purity of heart in ALL things, how am I to achieve this?

My best suggestion is prayer.

A couple of years ago, I was struggling to love one of my "neighbors". When I sought counsel from a priest, he gave me the best advice I could have ever received. 

He told me to pray for them.

I was really annoyed. 

"Uhh...Father, I really don't want to pray for them..."

His response?

"That's why you must."

The beauty of prayer and the work of the Holy Spirit is that when you're intentionally praying for someone, especially someone you're struggling to love, gradually your heart is softened. Over time, my begrudging prayer became sincere. My hardened heart became putty in my Maker's hands. I began to genuinely desire that the Lord's will be done in my neighbor's life, not just what I hoped would happen.

So this is what I'm striving for as more&more&more of my friends/acquaintances/relatives/etc become engaged and get married. Please know of my prayers for each and every one of you and I ask that you keep me in yours as well.

What are your thoughts? Link up below!

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Next week's topic:

Chastity: A Choice

Living chastely (not just abstinence) is a choice. Have you ever had to defend your choice to live out chastity? If not, why do you choose chastity?

February 11th: If only I knew then what I know now...
What would you tell your former self about being single if given the chance? What have you learned that you wish you could tell your younger self?

Encouraging Chivalry

Update 9/9/14: This post was linked up as part of the Not Alone Series topic, "Oh so chivalrous!"

Have you read this post by Matt Walsh? It's thought-provoking, FULL of solid Truth, and calls men to action.

I forget in the day-to-day that "chivalry is dead". And actually, I've heard that before and argued with whoever proclaimed it that chivalry IS NOT dead. Unfortunately, however, my perception on this is skewed.

I blame it on all of the awesome men in my life. Holy, God-fearing, women-loving men.
They hold doors, allow women to go before them for communion, help me with my coat, etc.

But what about all of the men who I don't know? Or even more so, what about the women who don't know the men I know?

I can imagine that it would be very discouraging to think that chivalry is dead. How sad.
And how incredibly sad for a woman who desires to have a man be chivalrous, to give up on that dream of a knight in shining armor!

I've read articles and posts where the author says that we need to focus on instilling an expectation of chivalry in our children. We need to raise our boys to be chivalrous and our girls to be accepting and grateful for chivalry.

I agree with this. We must raise our children in this manner.

But what about those of us who aren't raising children? What about the college students? What about the young professionals? Perhaps we must wait until we have children of our own in order to encourage chivalry?

Not at all.
There is so much that we can do to encourage chivalry at all ages and places in life!

For the Men

Chivalrous men! Please continue to be gentlemen. Do not allow the lazy men of today to influence how you act.

Rather, you must be an example to other men. Chivalry begets chivalry. Encourage your boorish friends to be more gallant! If you let a lady have your seat, nudge your buddy to do the same! Hold one another accountable.

Asking your friend to hold the second set of doors while you're holding the first isn't nagging, it's reminding him to be the gentleman he was made to be. Hopefully just seeing you open the first door will give him the push he needs to grab the second one, but better safe than sorry!

Overall, do not allow your less honorable friends to discourage you.
And if ever a lady yells that she doesn't need your help with the door/with her coat/etc. just respond with a smile and a courteous "I didn't do _______ because you're a woman/girl/lady, I did it because I'm a gentleman."
I guarantee she will not know what to say, especially if you remain polite.

Be like Matt and call others to action.


For the Ladies

Alright, ladies, I am certain that many of you appreciate and enjoy chivalry. However, how are you supposed to increase chivalry? I mean, we're mere women...we have no influence on whether or not a "guy" is gentlemanly....right?

Wrong!
The way in which we react to chivalry will influence its longevity.

I encourage you to stop being embarrassed when you encounter a gentleman.
There have been times when a man holds the door for me when I'm a good 20+ strides from the door. Gosh, I feel horrible! I'm ashamed to admit that more often than not, I barely meet his gaze and perhaps I'll give him a sorrowful "thanks!"...all because I feel bad.

Or how many times has a young man surprised you by helping you with your coat? I never expect it, and due to my surprise, I usually give a little laugh and what might be perceived as a sarcastic "thank you".
(when really, I just feel awkward and try to be goofy instead)

Or have you ever neglected to thank the man who is coming out of a building and holds the door as you're entering? It's possible he wouldn't hear me, you think, and besides, it's not like it's a big deal...

I want to encourage you to stop doing this.
Don't stop thanking, but change the way in which you thank.
Stop acting embarrassed when a man treats you like a lady, you ARE a lady! Don't make him feel embarrassed for treating you as such!
And never treat an act of chivalry as "nothing" or else you're feeding into the mindset that chivalry simply doesn't matter.

When a gentleman opens the door for you, pulls out your chair, etc., look him in the eye, give him a warm smile and a grateful "Thank You!"

This is called positive reinforcement. (I know because I have a Psychology degree. BAM.) If we want men to be more chivalrous, we must encourage them to continue their chivalry! Please push past whatever it is that hold you back from appreciating his chivalrous gesture. Like I said before, chivalry begets chivalry. And in this case, a man's encouraged chivalry will lead to his continued chivalry.


Chivalry can be encouraged at all ages.
Gentlemen shouldn't be afraid to behave like gentlemen and ladies shouldn't be ashamed to expect to be treated like ladies.

Strive to be the most authentic you you can be.

Not Alone Series: Patience

This is my 200th post! WOWZA! Thanks for being here for another round of the NAS!

Do you find yourself becoming really impatient, or struggling with your life to "really" begin? If so, how do you combat it? Do you do anything? How can we support one another in this area?

I'm a slight huge perfectionist. Which apparently can make me a bit of a control freak.

Not with little things, but definitely with big things.

Like my life.

How does this relate to patience? Well, I like my life to go just so, and when the big man upstairs decides that my plan isn't how things are going down, that's annoying.

Entering into my freshman year of college, I imagined that when I graduated from college, I would either be planning a wedding, or at the very least, in a relationship that was heading toward marriage.

Welp, here I am, almost a year and a half post-graduation, and nope....I'm not engaged.

Heck, I haven't been on a date in THREE years.

Woah.

My life is not at all what I planned it out to be.

I initially entered undergrad as a Biology - Secondary Education major. I envisioned becoming a HS teacher and going on for my master's to be a Guidance Counselor and eventually write books and give seminars on effective parenting and how to combat bullying.

I graduated with my degree in Psychology; I work for a non-profit Pro-Life organization.

Yep, definitely NOT where I thought I would be.

But you know what you need to just let Him lead you down the right path?

A whole lot of trust for sure.

AND a ton of patience to allow Him to reveal His plan to you.

I travel a lot for work (i.e. I go back and forth from Central IL to Chicago about once a week), and in the beginning of this travel time, I would get SO ANNOYED by the stupid signs that I became used to seeing.

"Chicago - 176 mi"

"CAUTION: RIGHT LANE ENDS 1 MI"

In addition to that, my GPS (or Samantha, as I not-so-fondly call her), only gives me one direction at a time. 

I HATE that. 

I want to know the entire trip! What should I expect after the next turn?

And then it dawned on me.

God and His plan for us is a lot like Samantha.

He's not as annoying, but He only gives us one direction at a time.

While we might be impatient and want to know everything that He has planned for us, He'll only give us the next step when we're ready.

While following His lead might be annoying and take a lot of patience to follow, it's worth it in the end.

I know that when I was deciding which program I should go into, He led me to Psychology.

I know that when I was discerning my next steps after college, He placed my current job into my lap.

But that all didn't happen without prayer, sacrifice, trust, and patience.

I currently struggle with desiring the future I feel the Lord is calling me to.

I SO desire dating and engagement and marriage and marital bliss and babies and all that.

It is SO HARD to just sit. and. wait.

BUT embracing the now (doesn't it always come back to this?) is what always brings me back to reality.

Loving my life NOW, enjoying my singlehood NOW.

Because someday, I know I'm going to look back on these years...once the courting and engagement and wedding and babies and everything has come and gone, I'll look back on my single years and I want to be able to see them as fond memories. I don't want to look back and wish that I would have soaked up what I had when I had the chance.

Someday, there will be a time when I will give anything to drink coffee by myself in a coffeeshop, or go to a farmer's market by myself, or read a book by myself....and I don't want to have any regrets.

So while patience is difficult, and it's definitely a virtue to practice, I think the best way to workout your patience muscles is to just BE. Just LIVE.

Maybe that's redundant from past posts, but whatever. This is my blog and I do what I want. ;)

Link up your post below! AND check out some announcements after these next four topics!

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Next week's topic:

Settling

No one would encourage you to "settle" when it comes to relationships...but would you ever consider it? What are your thoughts on settling in relationships in general?

November 5: Fav Single-people Websites/Blog posts
Share other single-person blogs or websites that you love! (or include posts/articles that you've enjoyed that pertain to the single life!)

November 12: Vulnerability with Friends
Do you find that your non-single friends struggle with relating to you or vice versa? If so, in what ways? How do you handle it? What is something that you would like them to know or understand that they just don't seem to get?

November 19: Surviving events/parties as a singleton
The holidays are coming up! Family parties, friends gathering....and you're single. How do you "cope"? Any tips or tricks?

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BREAK!

Ladies, we have decided to take a break from the Not Alone Series after the November 19th post until January 14, 2014. I know it seems like a long time, but we are coming up on a busy season of travel and family time. We don't want to take away your time from what's most important. Feel free to continue to blog about your single life experiences, but we just won't be having anything formal until January. 

BUUUUUT!!!

We would really like to establish accountability partners!

We love what this series has been doing, but we want to take things a bit further! 

Here's how it will work:

Email us if you are interested! 

It doesn't matter if you have only participated once or every time!

Please email BOTH me (mvmcfar at gmail.com) and Jen (jennifercox.rn at gmail.com) by October 29.

Once we have received your emails, we will pair you all up!

We will then notify you by email by November 5.

Only requirement to participate:

A weekly email! That's it.

You and your partner can set up more emails, Skype dates, etc if you so desire. But, there should be at least ONE email per week.

If you have any questions, please email us! More info will be given to those who wish to participate. We think this will be really fun, and we hope it provides great encouragement, community, and friendship for everyone. :)

Not Alone Series: Peace

This week, we posed the questions "Where do you find peace? How do you keep it? If you struggle finding/keeping peace, what's holding you back?"

(inspired by Jen's Follow the Peace post)

When I was a freshman in college, I knew a missionary who forever changed my perspective on "peace".

She would talk about certain situations or people she'd encountered that "took her peace" and how she would avoid anything that could potentially take her peace.

I'd never thought about peace in that way, and now we're talking about not only how to keep that peace, but where to find it! I can think of lots of things that take my peace, but I think it's much more productive to identify what DOES bring me peace so I can continue to seek those things out!

Productivity

Ending a day when I've accomplished so much brings me peace. I like being a productive person. I LOVE lists and being able to cross most (if not all!) of it off brings me waves of peace that stay with me. To keep this peace I try to avoid anything that will stand in the way of my productiveness. Like multiple coffee breaks or too many trips out of the office. I try to consolidate my day and make a P.O. run at the same time as Office Depot to make the most of my time.

Not being lazy

I find peace when I give my all throughout my day. It's when I hit the snooze button too many times, or waste time on Facebook at work, or take a too-long lunch, or just don't get enough done that I lose my peace. This links with the first point, but they're different because I can not be lazy on the weekends without being super productive. I make an effort on a daily basis to shake off laziness in order to keep my peace. I always feel unsettled going to bed at night when I know that I was just a slug of a person that day.

Sacraments

The beauty of our Catholic faith is that I can receive this source of peace on the daily. But it's when my laziness gets in the way that this peace is stolen from me. Ugh. I have the opportunity to go to mass and/or confession every. single. day. [since my office is right under the chapel] But as much as I know that mass ALWAYS brings me peace, there are days when I just can't tear myself away from work. It's frustrating. So I try to schedule it into my day (or better yet, put it on my to-do list!) and make it a priority.

Prayer

Being centered in prayer gives me the peace I need to keep chugging along. Even if I only pray in the morning and at night before bed, I really try to make SOME time to speak with our Lord. One thing that really helps me is to always be praying a novena or something like that. I've prayed multiple novenas to St. Anne and St. Joseph and Pray More Novenas helps with that, too!

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm excited to read about how YOU find peace! Share and link up below!

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Next week's topic:

Should/can women pursue men?

What do you think? Any and all perspectives welcome!!!

Jen and I are making a new topic schedule! Is there anything you'd like to talk about? Please email me or email Jen and let us know! We want to write about what YOU'RE interested in! :)

Guest Post at The Veil of Chastity

Happy Monday, y'all!

Sooooo I hesitated about even saying anything because I really don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm also really excited....today I'm guest blogging/posting/whatever-ing over at The Veil of Chastity!
Talking about chastity and living it out in the real world.

If that peaks your interest, take a gander!

If not, here're some bonus baby pics from this weekend's baptism festivities.
Because if little Lincoln doesn't make you squeal, well, why are you even here? ;)

"heeheehee I'm so funny!"

"mmkay I'm smiling...can you stop now, Auntie Morgana?"

"ooo something kinda smells..."

SUCH a cutie pie!!!

xo, mo

prayers and recommends

I'm sure many of you read House Unseen. Please keep Dwija and her beautiful family in your prayers. They lost their youngest baby, Nicholas, this Monday.

Speaking of prayers, I'll be joining up with the community at PrayMoreNovenas.com for the St. Anne Novena. I'm offering this novena up for the Borobia family and my future husband. You can read about the significance of this novena over here, which is the story about my good friend, Annie (who also happens to be my boss's wife).

Don't you love it when you stumble across an awesome new blog?? Yeah. Me too. So go over and check out CrossAmerica.

source

Dan is walking from Oregon (I LOVE that state!) to Virginia and he just passed his 4 MILLION step mark. How freaking hardcore is that?! So inspiring. Here's a Catholic Post article about his journey and purpose. You'll love it.

Y'all know about my obsession with Camp Patton. If you haven't read the latest Conversations with Julia post, we can't be friends anymore. lo siento.

I want to be her best friend.

mmkay that's all.
xo morgan

Not Alone Series: Prayer

Thanks for coming back to join Jen and I for another week of the Not Alone Series!

I'm a big fan of prayer, but to be honest, I'm really bad at it.

Not the praying part, per say, but the making time for Him part.

I need to make prayer more of a priority. I'll be honest, it's really difficult for me to be disciplined and make my prayer life the most important thing in my day. In college, it somehow was easier to pray every day (maybe because I used it as my escape from drama and homework) but it's easy for me these days to just slowly slip away from that daily time with our Lord...but it is so crucial to my everyday life. I notice such a difference in my attitude, my energy, my outlook on life and all that I have to accomplish. 

Everything is better when I make GOD the top priority.

What I'm struggling with right now is the idea of time.

The idea that I have so much to get done that I can't possibly steal away for a half hour to run up to the chapel.

(did I mention that my office is directly beneath the chapel? yeah. no excuses.)

So I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment, but I'm beginning to slowly crawl out and I'm utilizing some of my favorite ways to pray:

1. Rote Prayer

I truly believe that rote prayer is one of the greatest gifts of our faith. When it feels that I have nothing else to say, or the emotions I feel just cannot be put into words, I turn to the simplicity of the Hail Mary, Memorare, Salve Regina, Glory Be, or Our Father. Meditating on the words and what they really mean helps me to further contemplate the mystery of our Father's love for us.

2. Novenas

Though I've never been able to complete the 33 day Consecration to Mary, I lovelovelove Novenas. They keep me accountable and hold my attention for the perfect amount of time. My favorites have been the Novena to St. Joseph and Novena to St. Anne.

2.5 praymorenovenas.com

By the way, have you heard of Pray More Novenas? It's a nifty site that will email you novenas and daily reminders during each one!

Fun fact: my boss created this website and now his wife (one of my close friends) mainly runs the site. 

So cool!

3. Journaling

I've fallen out of the habit of journaling every night, but I really love being able to write out my prayers and then go back and reflect on them. There have been times when I wrote down something really profound and then going back makes me see how things have changed, but also to see what struggles and growth I've been through.

4. Just talking.

...to the Lord, that is. I've typed before about how important I think it is to be open and totally honest in our conversations with God. This is where we get to the root of our hurt and despair. This is where we find healing. I hatehatehate cliches but you know that line about having an intimate, personal relationship with Christ? umm it's crucial. totes.

That's all I've got.

Clearly I'm not a prayer guru, but I'm learning along the way.

Next week's topic:

What I love(d) about being Single

there's so much to enjoy right now! let's share our favorites! 

growing in virtue: vulnerability

I had a dream a few nights ago in which my husband was with me. He asked me to dance and I felt more loved and complete than I ever have. Just thinking about it now makes my heart flutter.

I know that I shouldn't wait around feeling like I'm missing a part of myself, and thinking that a man will make me feel "whole". And I assure you, I don't...for I know that only the Lord and being in full communion with The Church can bring that "wholeness". And I do believe that one should be content in who they are in their own before venturing into a new relationship because attempting to fill a God-sized hole in your heart with a human just won't work.

But all of this doesn't completely take away the longing for union with one's spouse. Receiving the sacraments and praying takes the edge off, but that nagging ache is still there. And its so hard because in my experience, people's advice has been to pray for your husband and offer up your suffering for him. And I do that, and it is fruitful.

But I have another solution.

Letting God into all of the hurt, the anger, the loneliness...our God is big enough to take it!
Yell, cry, beg, whatever it takes to SHOW Him how you truly feel.
So often, I think we don't say outright how we truly feel to the Lord because we either assume that He already knows (which He does), we think we can't be mad at him and show him our raw emotions (we can) or we believe that by opening up to our Savior and not pushing down those emotions, we're weak (we're not).

Yes, our Lord already knows how we feel, but I truly believe that He wants us to admit it to Him. Just like a wife might know that her husband loves her, she still wants to hear it from him.

Perhaps we shouldn't have a rage fest in Adoration, but telling Him "I'm mad at you" isn't a sin...as long as that doesn't cause you to turn away from Him...and in fact, I've found that only after I sob myself silly and tell Him that I'm frustrated with Him can I get over it. By identifying and declaring exactly what your problem is, you will be able to work on it and heal. Pushing your hurt under the rug isn't helping you to grow into the woman your husband deserves.

And being vulnerable with our Lord isn't at all a sign of weakness, but rather strength! Reaching out for help is not anything to be ashamed of, especially when our Lord is the greatest doctor of all! To think that asking for help is a sign of weakness is like saying that an alcoholic who is seeking treatment is weak! Of course not! In fact, most people would commend their strength in finding healing! So why is that not true with God?

Praying for others, especially your husband, is beautiful and selfless. However, if we don't seek to fix our own problems, if we don't seek to fill our own cups, how are we to ever be prepared to give to our husbands? I often have to remind myself that there's a reason why my husband and I haven't found one another yet. And the only logical explanation is that its because either he's not ready or I'm not ready. So why not make best of this time and prepare? Especially in this time of Advent, let us take the example of Joseph and Mary as they prepared for the coming of our Lord. And so too should we take on the mantle of our Mother and prepare our hearts for receiving our husbands.

growing in virtue: patience

I think I've mentioned a time or two that I struggle with patience.
And it's not just with waiting for people or food or whatever...it's with EVERYTHING.
Legit.

But lately, mostly with my husband.

Oh, you didn't know that I have a husband?
Well, I do.
We're just not married yet, aaaaand I don't know who he is.
Bummer.

I know that I should be enjoying my "single years"....full of freedom and independence and yaddahyaddah
And, in some ways, I am...I mean, I love life, and my life is pretty good.
But I struggle a lot with enjoying the "right now" and not focusing on "someday"....

I think this is something that we as a culture struggle with - not seeing what's right in front of us - but it's so difficult to stop searching and just let God do His thing.
And I think one of my problems is that I've done the novenas and the dating fasts and the "think of every man you encounter simply as a brother in Christ" and it all helps...but there's still that ever-present yearning, aching, desiring to be united with him. I know that in some cases, my intentions with the aforementioned "cures" were just that: I would do all of these things and THEN God would say "Well done, my good and faithful servant....here's your hubby!"

Buuuut that's not how these things work.
And I know that....but it's still sooooo hard to just be and allow Him to lead me.

One thing that He has given me that has helped a bit is theveilofchastity.com ...finally! A blog that is FOR SINGLE PEOPLE! I lovelovelove the mommy and wifey blogs that I read...truly, I do. But sometimes, I get so caught up in their stories, in their lives, that I find myself hoping that my story is half as cool as theirs.
Well, what the heck?! It's MY story! It's going to be perfect for ME!
Which brings me to another post that helped me a lot, called Dating Tip #1: You Don't Have to Date
oh.
my.
gosh.

This post clarified everything that I've been questioning:
"why am I single? what's wrong with me?"
"why am I the only one of my friends who doesn't have a boyfriend/fiance/husband?"
"so-and-so got married at my age and I'm not even dating anyone?! OMG!!!!!!"

But what I have to realize is that I'm not THEM.
I have my own story, my own life. And no matter what happens, no matter when I meet Mr. Right and get married and have children, it will be perfect for ME. And that is what matters most.

It's definitely a struggle, but I have confidence that with every passing day, I'm one step closer to meeting "him"...would you join me in praying for him? And me too if you wouldn't mind ;)