I'm single and yeah, I use NFP.

It's NFP week! Lots of posts have been published on this topic, but I've seen few written by non-married peeps! So, I'm taking a hiatus from my blogging hiatus to contribute from a non-married lady's perspective :)

It was a few years ago when my interest in Natural Family Planning (NFP) was sparked. I was intrigued by the concept of truly understanding your body and it's happenings while also being able to identify fertility markers.

But as much as I thought it all sounded interesting, I never imagined that I'd dive into that world until I was close to marriage.

After all, it seems like everyone learning NFP is over here like:

And I'm here all:

That all changed when I attended the Vita Institute.

For anyone unfamiliar with the Vita Institute, it's an intensive interdisciplinary training program for leaders in the national and international pro-life movement. A program of the Notre Dame Center for Ethics and Culture, the Vita Institute was one of the most incredible weeks of my life. Not only was the educational material top-notch, but the community fostered between myself and the other participants is unmatched.

When I attended in June 2014, one of our lectures was given by Suzy Younger, MS, FCP of the St. Joseph FertilityCare Center. Suzy's lecture was one of my favorites. The way in which she spoke of NFP as a key to understanding the mystery of the female body hooked me.

Following that lecture, I decided that I needed to learn how to chart via Creighton. I know a bit about most NFP models, but Creighton was the one that has come most highly recommended from friends and family.

And so, in February of 2015, I began to meet with a Fertility Care Practitioner (FCP) to learn the Creighton Model FertilityCare System. I've been charting for about 5 months now and wow. So cool.

My reasons for learning Creighton stemmed from past complications in my cycle and the desire to learn more about my fertility. When I was in college, my doctor decided to put me on the pill because my irregular cycles were due to a lack of ovulation. Yet, the pill suppresses ovulation. Hormonal birth control is often prescribed to "fix" a problem, when it actually just masks it without digging to the cause.

Additionally, I know many couples who had a quick engagement and between preparing for marriage, a wedding, etc....also threw learning NFP into the mix. More often than not, I've seen friends either stressed by the pressure to learn NFP in a short amount of time, or neglect their instruction amidst the buzz of planning.

Basically, I don't want to do that. I have no idea when marriage will become a reality in my life (aka I'm single and ready to mingle, fellas) and I also have no idea if my future husband and I will have grave reasons for avoiding pregnancy. Regardless, I intend to enter into marriage as prepared as possible. I desire to be equally spiritually, emotionally, and fertility-y prepared for marriage.

So, this post is for any single lady who's been thinking about learning an NFP method, or anyone who thought that NFP was only for married people. I've been in both camps and I want to make a few points.


1. Reading about NFP methods online and from friends is not sufficient for effective use.

I have friends, married and single alike, who haven't been formally trained in any particular NFP method, but "get by" with borrowed materials from friends and/or online research. From my experience, you will never be able to fully learn any NFP method without formal instruction. I went into my first appointment with my FCP thinking that this would all be a piece of cake. But several follow-ups later, I am convinced that having a practitioner who gives me, my chart, and my questions individualized attention is much better than any Google search.

Do yourself a favor and seek out an instructor before teaching yourself a wonky version of NFP.


2. It IS NOT unethical for unmarried women to learn NFP.

This question was asked in a Facebook group for unmarried ladies who are interested in NFP. Considering that NFP is often misjudged as "natural birth control", I can understand the worry that using NFP will only encourage promiscuity.

But truly, all NFP methods are focused on learning the unique rhythm of each woman's body. While you are taught how to identify days of fertility and infertility, NFP is NOT natural birth control. Creighton, in particular, is taught in a way that is cognizant of the human person as mind, body, and soul. NFP sees fertility as a part of health, not a disease to be fixed. Learning NFP can also help to identify biomarkers of abnormalities, which are useful for any woman.


3. Learning NFP is worth the investment.

I'm not familiar with what cost is associated with learning NFP methods other than Creighton, but I'm sure there's something. It's my understanding that each instructor is responsible for setting their rates, but I could be wrong. Additionally, I've heard multiple instructors say that they never turn away someone because they can't afford the session fees.

As a single lady trying to live my life off of one income, the price tag attached to learning Creighton was daunting at first. But ultimately, I know that whatever I need to pay to learn Creighton is an investment in knowledge for the rest of my life. After your first year of instruction, follow-ups are more spread out and the majority of the cost comes from materials (once every 6 mo).

Additionally, depending on your health care plan, you may be able to get reimbursement for out-of-pocket charges through a flex-spending account or the like. Look into how you can make this work! Giving up Starbucks twice a week would cover my follow-up fees, and isn't that worth a lifetime of knowledge?!


4. Why wait to learn something that you can implement today?

Sure, NFP is an awesome tool to be utilized within marriage for family planning. However, there is so much more to learning NFP than just knowing when you could make a baby.

Through the observation you're taught, hormonal imbalances, issues like PCOS of endometriosis, and more is able to be detected. In this information-obsessed society, it seems natural that women would want to know as much as possible about their own bodies as possible. For me, I was interested in learning Creighton so that I can detect potential fertility issues now rather than down the road whenever marriage comes into play.


5. The human body is AWESOME.

How incredible is it that without any high-tech tools, I can monitor where I am in my cycle and my current fertility? Like, talk about being a crunchy hippy. (life goal, BTW) I'm serious about my faith and chastity, but it's still fascinating to know on certain days: "huh, my body could maybe make a baby today".

Just by learning how to make observations and evaluate them, you can take charge of your fertility. NFP gives patients the chance to have a hand in understanding and tracking their health, something that most modern medicine cannot say.

I encourage anyone who's even remotely interested in learning more about NFP and how to begin learning to check out some of the resources below. And if I didn't convince you to dig deeper, maybe Kelly can.

Creighton Model

Billings Ovulation Model

Sympto-Thermal Method

Marquette Model

living {life} as it is

"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, 
he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." 

- John 15:5 -

"For those of you who are married, imagine your life without your spouse. For those of you with children, imagine your life, it's impossible, without your children."

My pastor began his homily on Sunday with these words. Well intended, to be sure, as he began to discuss what our lives would be without God and this comparison would help to conceptualize this lack for the congregation. Yet, unexpectedly, I was overcome with a wave of tears as I thought:

"What about me?! I don't have any of that!"

Immediately, my mind was swept away from the current moment, the beauty of the Mass, and taken to a place I long to be. A place where I hold a sweet child in my arms, a place where the comfort of my husband's arm encircles us both. Surrounded by my loving and vibrant parish community where seemingly hundreds of couples were living this reality with their hundreds of babies, I was overcome by my aching heart.

This is a constant struggle for me: presence in the current moment. How quickly am I able to forget about my present, my present which is very full.

I'm easily distracted by the lives of others. I constantly compare where I am to where friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, etc. are.

Other women my age who are having their first, second, third! child.

Other women my age who are getting engaged or married.

Other women my age who are moving up the corporate ladder, gaining prestige, wealth, and power.

Other women my age who are travelling to places I long to see, experiencing a life I wish I could afford the time or expense to live.

I'm easily overcome with wishing I had what any, or all of them, have....and lose sight of how much I love what I have.

I love where I live; my town and everything it has to offer.

I love my work, my co-workers, and why we do what we do.

I love the travels I've taken, the opportunities I've had, and the trips I'm planning.

I love the relationships I've cultivated, the friends I've made, the stories we can tell.

I love the independence my current life holds, with all it's unpredictability and freedom.

The lives of other women my age are wonderful and beautiful and blessed.

And so is mine.

As a result of my recent birthday - 25! ah! - I've been hit once again with the reality that where I am in my life is not at all where I had hoped, or anticipated. But, this isn't an inherently sorrowful reality.

What would be a sorrowful reality is if I wasted these present moments living in and for the future.

I've finally, truly found a place in my life where I'm content. I know who I am, where I am, and where/who I want to be. Why can't I just sit in that and be content?! If I believe that He has a plan for my life, then I must also believe that this time is also part of His plan! These aches and pains are perhaps simply His pruning of the branches.

These desires of my heart, placed there by God, for marriage and children - ah, and these are such present desires! -  are good and pure, but they are not the end-all-be-all. 

I'm still coming to accept and embrace that my vocation, right now and forever, is to live fully as a follower of Christ. This is not dependent upon my relationship status. Nor is the need for me to grow and evolve into the woman God made me to be.

Regardless of if I'm single, dating, engaged, or married, I'm called to live for Christ every day and love Him above all else. Losing sight of that will only make His pruning more difficult.

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Linking up with the Blessed is She community!

Passion, sex, and the Church

I recently heard of a conversation a friend had with a young man who'd made some interesting remarks regarding sex and the Catholic church. This had been sparked by the question of "are you pro-life?" and quickly turned from a question of whether abortion was wrong to why the Church wants to deprive people from experiencing the pleasures of sex.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and just want to respond to a couple of points that this young man made.


"It seems like the Church just wants to remove passion from sex..."

I can understand why, from the outside, it might look like this. The Church is very firm in her teaching that sex is only to be enjoyed within marriage. But, see what I just said? Enjoyed.

God created sex! And He created it to be pleasurable! He created it this way for us! Sex is pleasurable for a reason: because it is good. However, pleasure always has limits. Dr. Janet Smith gives a talk, Contraception: Why Not?, in which she explains why sex is a naturally good action.

Dr. Smith says:

"There are lots of things that have pleasure attached to them. Pleasure is not the purpose; pleasure is the motive; pleasure is the consequence; but it's not the purpose. As a matter of fact, God attached pleasure to the things that he really wants us to do, that are necessary for our survival and for our happiness. So, it's pleasurable to eat and it's pleasurable to drink and it's pleasurable to sleep and it's pleasurable to exercise, and it's pleasurable to have sexual intercourse. It's pleasurable. That's not the purpose."

And she goes on to say:

"So, God attached pleasure to everything he wanted us to do for, not our salvation, so much, as just our well-being. But we have to do it at the right time, and the right place, and in the right manner, with the right person, etc., etc. — in the right way. Sure, eating is pleasurable, but there are limits to what you should be eating. Sexual intercourse is pleasurable, but there are limits to what you should be doing, and you have to seek that pleasure in accord with the nature and reality of what you're dealing with."

So here's the thing: it's not that the Church is trying to remove pleasure or passion from sex, rather, she simply wants it to be experienced in an ordered fashion.

And who's to say that passion isn't a factor in married sex? Arleen Spenceley recently interviewed a sex therapist who noted that if you're saving sex for marriage, you're likely talking with your significant other about sex issues, and better communication can lead to better sex in the long run.

Sure, if you're aware that you're ovulating and are attempting to avoid pregnancy for a grave reason, being "in the mood" and abstaining is really difficult. This is where the argument for contraception (which is horrible for a woman's body - another topic for another time) comes into play...sex is never off limits and could be viewed as more spontaneous.

However, there's this thing called delayed gratification. Scientifically, depriving yourself from something that you really desire causes more appreciation and enjoyment when you finally are able to experience whatever you were avoiding.

The Natural Family Planning Teacher's Association says that NFP, "because of more frequent communication about intimate sexual matters, increases the relationship skills of love and affection - the expression and experience of love, warmth, and mutual attraction between the couple." 

Well that doesn't sound like the Church desires for married couples to remove passion from sex! Rather, by encouraging NFP and saving sex for marriage, it seems to me that the Church is trying to help married couples enjoy better sex! Interesting!


"But I'm still young...I'm just not sure if I want to give that up..."

Again, I can understand this, to a degree. Especially if one has already experienced the enjoyment of sex, the idea of locking it up until who-knows-when could seem like torture.

Here's something else to think about. Sex is pleasurable, yes? And sex was made to be pleasurable, yes?

Let's assume that I want to get married and intend to stay married for the rest of my life. Let's also assume that I've had a few sexual partners prior to marriage and have therefore experienced the pleasures of sex.

If I've had sex with many different men, if I've been *ahem* pleasured, by many different men, and view sex as simply a means to finding pleasure, who's to say that this attainment of pleasure should stay within marriage? If I see sex as merely a way to pleasure myself, and my husband is no longer pleasuring me, what should keep me from seeking that pleasure elsewhere?

I see this attitude toward sex as being potentially dangerous within a marriage. Society and the Church alike say that sex is an important part to a healthy marriage. However, the difference is that the Church doesn't see sex as the crux of a relationship.

If for some reason, whether it be illness, energy levels, available time, etc., sex doesn't occur as frequently as is ideal or perhaps isn't as pleasurable as one would like, this is not a reason to seek this pleasure elsewhere. Communication about barriers to a preferable enjoyment of sex within marriage is essential during these times!

I think a big part of accepting this teaching of the Church is personal maturity. Someone who is unwilling to "give up" sex is likely not mature enough to consider marriage.

Marriage requires sacrifice. It requires dying to oneself every single day. Someone who is unwilling to sacrifice prior to marriage is likely to be unwilling to sacrifice within marriage.

That's my two cents...what do you think? How would you respond to someone who makes these statements? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

St. Gianna Beretta Molla {Guest Post at Cherishing Everyday Beauty}

Happy Saturday, all!

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm guest posting over at Sarah's blog, Cherishing Everyday Beauty, today! Here's a sneak peek...

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My freshman year of college, I attended a retreat held by the Newman Center called "Koinonia" (Greek for community). Every retreat had a patron saint chosen for the weekend and my retreat's patron saint was St. Gianna Beretta Molla. Our tagline for the weekend was "Love courageously!"

This weekend was where I really began to dive further into my faith and relationship with God. Looking back, the fact that St. Gianna was the patron saint of a retreat that kickstarted my faith journey seems extremely providential, but I'll get to that a bit later.

Ever since I first learned of St. Gianna, I loved her.

I loved her story, I loved her life, I loved her devotion to love....

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Click over to Cherishing Everyday Beauty to read the rest! While you're there, check out the other posts in her Saints Series! 

Have a beautiful day!

Not Alone Series: If you were called to religious life...

Hello! See below for the next few weeks' topics!

This week's topic was suggested by Laura!

While most of us feel called to marriage, it is important to see the beauty in all vocations! If/when you were discerning religious life, which communities interest(ed) you? What do you see as the positives of that vocation?

During my sophomore year of college, I discerned that I was called to marriage. And because I'd felt God had been totally clear, I never approached that topic again. Onwards and upwards toward marriage.

And then a couple months ago, doubt crept in.

"What if you're supposed to be a nun?"

"Maybe that's why you're still single..."

I'd never felt doubt like that before. Oh man, I was freaking out.

Was this from God? Or was it the enemy? Should I re-discern? Or should I stay the course?

Thank God for the silent retreat I attended, where I had the best spiritual direction of my life.

I met with the wisest Sister I've ever known, and I am so grateful for her advice. She told me that there's no danger in continuing discernment, even if you think you know what you're called to. Your vocation has been already been chosen, so if I'm called to marriage, only more clarity can come from learning more about religious life and religious communities. So, that's what I decided to do! After all, if I truly want to live the Lord's plan for my life, shouldn't I be open to whatever that plan is?

During the past few weeks, I entered spiritual direction with the aforementioned Sister and did a lot of soul-searching, praying, surrendering, and opening myself up to whatever the Lord wants.

Oh, and I watched the Light of Love film which is INCREDIBLE. 

Please watch it. I loved learning about different religious Sisters and their lives! It's so awesome what the Lord can do!

I've since been reconfirmed in my original discernment - I believe that the Lord has created me for marriage. 

This questioning, I believe, came from a place of fear: fear that God has forgotten about me, fear of having no control, etc. Being called to marriage is scary! You have no control over when you will meet Mr. Right... and I really like control. With religious life, at least you can make the decision to enter an order. 

I caution you against this way of thinking, friends. It's a dangerous slope, which can easily turn into you choosing the wrong vocation simply because of some perceived "control". No good.

But in attempting to reopen myself to religious life has allowed me to remember the beauty of that vocation and learn more about certain communities.

If I did have a call to religious life, I would expect that I'd be drawn to communities like the Missionaries of Charity or the Salesians of Don Bosco. I have a heart for ministry, so I think that would be something I'd desire to keep focused on. During my silent retreat (which wasn't so silent), we watched this video on Mother Teresa, which really spoke to my heart...especially the part with the babies at the orphanage! But there are so many other kinds of orders out there, my research has barely scratched the surface! Like what about the Dominicans of St. Cecilia, the Sisters of Life, or the Daughters of St. Paul?

One of my friends is a cloistered Carmelite and I don't think I could ever do that. We're all called to contemplative prayer, but my soul is not made to be cloistered!

I was just trying to count how many friends of mine are now religious Sisters or intending to enter religious life....I want to say it's about...10? Plus I have a great aunt who was a Sister....oh, and my Grandpa Lynch once dated Mother Dolores.

What I see to be the most beautiful part about religious life is how you're able to give yourself totally and completely to God. As a religious, one marries our Lord and from thereon, every second of one's life is devoted to Him! What a gift! It would be incredible to be able to serve anyone, anywhere, in whatever way was needed. Because that's what you're called to do as a religious!

A married woman gives herself to God in a a different way...through sacrifice to her husband and children. It's a calling as necessary and beautiful, but different.

I've heard before that religious life is a higher calling than marriage. Technically, this is true, since being married to God is as close to heaven as we can get on earth. However, that doesn't mean that religious life is better than marriage. We were all made for one vocation in particular. During my re-discernment, I struggled seeking what that Lord created me for rather than what I've heard in the past as being "better".

If you are called to marriage, that is what's best for you. That doesn't mean that one is better than the other, but your heart was made for one specific vocation. Don't allow your mind to lead you away from what your heart was made for.

ANYWAY. Marriage is awesome. Religious life is awesome.

If for no other reason, I hope that this time I've taken to explore religious life will help me to be encouraging of vocations to religious life in my family, my friends, perhaps my children or nieces and nephews.

I can't wait to hear from you! Have you looked into any religious orders? What do you see in religious life that is appealing? Link up below and check out Jen's post!

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Next week's topic:

Making Friends

We LOVE the NAS community, but creating a real-life community is essential to our lives! What have been your struggles in making friends as a young adult? Do you have any advice for those struggling to build community post-college?

5/27: Social MediaOur lives tend to revolve around social media and knowing what's happening in everyone's lives. How has this effected your life? In your experience, has social media made dating easier? Harder? i.e. not judging something you see about the guy you're dating on Twitter/FB

6/3: NAS year in reviewJune 4th, 2013 was the very first NAS post! How has your life changed in the past year? How has this community impacted you?

Not Alone Series: Deal Breakers

tsk tsk tsk...tardy for the party again. Ah well, better late than never!

We have all thought about our list of qualities for our future spouse (and maybe even religious community), but sometimes those can be pretty limiting on who God has planned for you. Instead, maybe think about the few things that are so important to you, that if a guy you were considering dating (or community you were entering) didn't have those things, you would have to move on. Why are those things important to you? 

We've talked before about our ideal qualities in a spouse and to be honest, I stand by the ones I chose back then:

1. He must be kind and affectionate

2. He must be intelligent

3. He must be tall (at least 6'0'')

Hmmmm you might notice that "Catholic" isn't on that list. Well, I did have a disclaimer that I was assuming Catholic was a given...but to be honest, I'm not 100% sold on that being a deal breaker.

Before anyone starts flippin' tables, let me explain.

It is extremely important to me that whoever I marry has a strong relationship with the Lord. Being that my faith is such an integral part of my life, I cannot imagine marrying a man who does not understand that part of my identity.

Going into college, I never imagined that I'd ever waver on this part of my "list". I couldn't imagine ever being serious about anyone who wasn't Catholic. But then it happened.

I won't go into the details on this today, but in getting to know a young man who was "just" Christian, and a strong one at that, I began to wonder if I was pigeon-holing myself and not allowing the Lord to have true reign over my love life. After all, if I'm seeking His will, won't He lead me to the man he's prepared for me?

Nothing ever progressed with that guy, but it definitely got me to thinking that I should be open to whoever God had planned for me. This mentality was strengthened when a friend's ex-boyfriend ended up converting to Catholicism because of the exposure to our faith she'd witnessed to him. He is now studying at the Augustine Institute.

And just this past week, I attended a fundraising conference in North Carolina where I met so many amazing Christian men who are on fire for the Lord. I couldn't help but wonder if through situations like this, which I hadn't planned on experiencing originally (I mean, fundraising conference? really? who goes to things like that?), God might just bring my future husband and I together.

Ideally my future husband would be Catholic.
but....ideally I would be married already.

See, our plans don't always go as we expect....so while I will continue my "search" in primarily Catholic circles, I'm also open to whoever the Lord brings into my life. I have past experience with Him changing my plans and His are much better and greater than what I imagined.

So...back to my list. Well, there's definitely one thing I won't waver on: marrying a man who loves the Lord.
Aside from that, he also must be open to life...whatever that means for us. (2 kids? 12 kids? adoption?)
And if I'm pulling from my list above, I'd prefer a tall, kind, affectionate, and intelligent hubby.

But other than those things....well, anything else is negotiable. As long as that foundation of morals and ethics are the same, what else really matters?

If you haven't checked out the other responses to this week's prompt, head on over to Jen's and please link-up your post as well!

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Next week's topic:

Beginning of the Year Goals + Lent!

Remember our first post this year? How are the goals you set going? Regardless of how your goals are going, how are you utilizing this Lent to continue to strive for those goals?

April 8th: Do's and Don'ts of First DatesWhat are those things that we should be doing, and the things that we shouldn't be doing? They can be from the physical parts (clothes to wear, places to go, things to say) or emotional parts (talking about it all the time, planning the future, etc). We can all learn something in hindsight, so what are your tips to share?

April 15th: Selfish SinglesHow do you combat being selfish with your time? As a single person, it's easy to get caught up in our own little independent world. There are those moments when we are needed for extra church things, hanging with our friend's kids, getting caught up with something on the one night you could stay in, etc. where we get frustrated that the needs of others are taking away from our own time. How do you avoid this selfish tendency and what do you do to avoid becoming frustrated with "sharing" you time with others?

April 22nd: MarriageMost of us here feel called to the vocation of marriage...but what is it exactly that you're attracted to? What have you seen in others' marriages that you've learned from or would do differently? (maybe this is from married friends or your parents!)

the quickity quicks

Linking up with Jen for the first time in forrrrevvverrrr.....

[1] Happy All Saints Day! Cassie Pease Designs asked on Facebook what our favorite saints were...without hesitation, my favorite saint is St. Gianna. I mean, I love allll of them, but if I had to choose, and we're assuming that Mama Mary is a given, then I'd say St. Gianna. She's seriously just one of the greatest role models of perfect love and sacrifice.

Ok, and I really love St. Joseph, but again, I feel like that's a given ;)

[2] I've been sick off-and-on this whole week and yesterday I completely forgot that it was Halloween....multiple times. Like, I would remember...and then forget.....and then remember again. This was the first year in my entire life that I haven't dressed up. Though I honestly didn't miss it.

[3] I just have to share some of my current favorite songs. I can't not.

That 70s Song - The Cab



[4] Come to Me - Goo Goo Dolls



[5] Have you stumbled upon Chris's blog yet? He's a former UIUC student and current FOCUS missionary. He always has thought provoking posts, but his most recent guest post on Same Sex Attraction is a winner for sure. Seriously. Go read it.

[6] Anyone keeping up with the Not Alone Series? Jen and I are completely overwhelmed with how many people we've reached. Who would have thought that a little wondering, wishing, hoping would have turned into all of this?What blessings. What grace. TYF.
And this week's posts blew me away! Check em out!

[7] Ok, I can't end this post without sharing this meme. It kills me.

Have a great weekend and head over to Jen's for more QTs!

Not Alone Series: NFP

Hello hello!

Jen was slated to host this week but alas! her computadora decided to die, so we're at my place again!

This week we're talking anything and everything NFP!

While I know that there are a number of ways to practice NFP, the most common method around these parts is the Creighton Model, so for the remainder of this post, if I don't specifiy, you can assume that by "NFP" I mean "Creighton Model".

I know that there are many single ladies out there who have already ventured into the land of charting, but I am not one of those people. It's not for a lack of interest, oh no. I could talk about charting and all that good stuff for ages...I guess I just haven't felt the need to start up yet.

Although, there was a point in college when a doctor diagnosed me with PCOS (due to irregular cycles and horrendous acne) and I considered trying to learn to chart since I knew a FOCUS missionary who was becoming a Creighton Model practitioner and offered to teach a bunch of us for cheap. But I was busy and ignorant and didn't take advantage of that opportunity. Charting can really help you figure out what's going on with your body without any medical treatment...just observing what your body naturally does?! That's basically it? How freaking awesome is that?!

turns out either I was mis-diagnosed or my PCOS doesn't effect my health at all because an endocrinologist did tons of tests and didn't find anything out of the ordinary....and I've now been "regular" for almost a year :) 

I do see a huge advantage in learning to chart pre-engagement because if it takes you a while to get the hang of it, there's no rush. Also, it will become more of a habit and you'll likely have a better understanding of your body before trying to figure it out with someone else.

However, I wonder if starting to practice NFP before being engaged will take away some of that teamwork-ness that I hear my engaged and married friends growing in. Because this is new to the both of them, they both are learning together and growing together in that experience. Perhaps not all guys will feel left out, but I wonder if some guys would feel like they're behind the ball if their fiancee is already an NFP expert. Just a thought.

Regardless, NFP has definitely become more and more popular...there are even apps for charting!! That in and of itself might be enough to make me want to start up!!! Does it get any easier than that?!

What is your experience with NFP/what are your thoughts? Link up below!!!

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Next week's topic:
Careers as a Vocation?

How do we know what God's call is for us if we are focused on our careers? Is it appropriate to focus on that career and then get married/enter religious life later? Or maybe the call/vocation IS the career and you could be single?

October 8: Fav Recipes... for one!

Link-up your favorite one-person meal recipes! It's hard to cook for one sometimes and we could all use some help!

October 15: Chastity as a Single Person

Physical or Emotional. What are your struggles? How do you overcome them?

October 22: Patience

Do you find yourself becoming really impatient, or struggling with your life to "really" begin? If so, how do you combat it? Do you do anything? How can we support one another in this area?

7 Quick Takes (28)

Linking up with Jen, et al.

oh hey there....I just realized that I haven't pounded one of these bad boys out since May.

MAY, people. I've gotta get this shiz together.

hopefully I remember how to do one of these things...

[1] Last weekend, my dear cousin Ryan was married and oh man, what a party. He and I were the ringbearer and flowergirl, respectively, in his parents' wedding....20 YEARS AGO.
And now he's married. 

So crazy.

I couldn't be happier for Ry....expect that now I'm "next in line" to be wed as the second oldest grandchild. Wahhhhh

[2] This article. A must read for EVERYONE. I don't care if you aren't single....read it. And if you ARE single, you better read it right now. Do it.

[3] My little baby cousin Mason Oliver was born on Wednesday! SOSOSO excited that the next round of baby-bearing years on this side of my family has begun! 

[4] Do you pray novenas? Do you want to pray novenas? Click here to discover an awesome tool to help you pray more novenas. The next one starts on Sunday to St. Therese!

[5] This:

[6] I love this interview with Fr. Rocky of Relevant Radio in Chicago and hope to write about my thoughts on Pope Francis's interview next week.

[7] Tonight I get to hangout with my very best friend doing one of my very favorite things.  Fo free.
I CANNOT WAIT.

Check out other 7QTs over at Jen's and have a splendid weekend!

xo, mo

blessed.

I couldn't help but overhear a young girl (college aged) talking in a coffeeshop the other day about her entire faith life journey.

She was telling her friend about how her family jumped from church to church and how she struggled to ever find a place where she felt at home. Her family would choose different churches based on what they were looking for at that point in their lives but when they would outgrow a church, they'd move on.

It sounded like she had finally found a faith community that she loved, but there was so much hurt in her voice when she spoke of her past. That restlessness. That searching for "the right fit".

I sat there trying not to eavesdrop. Trying to pretend like I was actually working on work rather than listening to her story.

As I knelt in Adoration last night, I couldn't help but remember this conversation.
It's times like these that I'm reminded of how grateful for the Truth of the Catholic Church.
I feel so blessed to have been raised in the Church.
While I've had my own search for Truth and belonging, I always knew deep down that I could go to the Church for answers to my endless questions.

Thank you Jesus for your Church.
And thank you for your love.

Not Alone Series: Peace

This week, we posed the questions "Where do you find peace? How do you keep it? If you struggle finding/keeping peace, what's holding you back?"

(inspired by Jen's Follow the Peace post)

When I was a freshman in college, I knew a missionary who forever changed my perspective on "peace".

She would talk about certain situations or people she'd encountered that "took her peace" and how she would avoid anything that could potentially take her peace.

I'd never thought about peace in that way, and now we're talking about not only how to keep that peace, but where to find it! I can think of lots of things that take my peace, but I think it's much more productive to identify what DOES bring me peace so I can continue to seek those things out!

Productivity

Ending a day when I've accomplished so much brings me peace. I like being a productive person. I LOVE lists and being able to cross most (if not all!) of it off brings me waves of peace that stay with me. To keep this peace I try to avoid anything that will stand in the way of my productiveness. Like multiple coffee breaks or too many trips out of the office. I try to consolidate my day and make a P.O. run at the same time as Office Depot to make the most of my time.

Not being lazy

I find peace when I give my all throughout my day. It's when I hit the snooze button too many times, or waste time on Facebook at work, or take a too-long lunch, or just don't get enough done that I lose my peace. This links with the first point, but they're different because I can not be lazy on the weekends without being super productive. I make an effort on a daily basis to shake off laziness in order to keep my peace. I always feel unsettled going to bed at night when I know that I was just a slug of a person that day.

Sacraments

The beauty of our Catholic faith is that I can receive this source of peace on the daily. But it's when my laziness gets in the way that this peace is stolen from me. Ugh. I have the opportunity to go to mass and/or confession every. single. day. [since my office is right under the chapel] But as much as I know that mass ALWAYS brings me peace, there are days when I just can't tear myself away from work. It's frustrating. So I try to schedule it into my day (or better yet, put it on my to-do list!) and make it a priority.

Prayer

Being centered in prayer gives me the peace I need to keep chugging along. Even if I only pray in the morning and at night before bed, I really try to make SOME time to speak with our Lord. One thing that really helps me is to always be praying a novena or something like that. I've prayed multiple novenas to St. Anne and St. Joseph and Pray More Novenas helps with that, too!

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm excited to read about how YOU find peace! Share and link up below!

-----------

Next week's topic:

Should/can women pursue men?

What do you think? Any and all perspectives welcome!!!

Jen and I are making a new topic schedule! Is there anything you'd like to talk about? Please email me or email Jen and let us know! We want to write about what YOU'RE interested in! :)

Guest Post at The Veil of Chastity

Happy Monday, y'all!

Sooooo I hesitated about even saying anything because I really don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm also really excited....today I'm guest blogging/posting/whatever-ing over at The Veil of Chastity!
Talking about chastity and living it out in the real world.

If that peaks your interest, take a gander!

If not, here're some bonus baby pics from this weekend's baptism festivities.
Because if little Lincoln doesn't make you squeal, well, why are you even here? ;)

"heeheehee I'm so funny!"

"mmkay I'm smiling...can you stop now, Auntie Morgana?"

"ooo something kinda smells..."

SUCH a cutie pie!!!

xo, mo

prayers and recommends

I'm sure many of you read House Unseen. Please keep Dwija and her beautiful family in your prayers. They lost their youngest baby, Nicholas, this Monday.

Speaking of prayers, I'll be joining up with the community at PrayMoreNovenas.com for the St. Anne Novena. I'm offering this novena up for the Borobia family and my future husband. You can read about the significance of this novena over here, which is the story about my good friend, Annie (who also happens to be my boss's wife).

Don't you love it when you stumble across an awesome new blog?? Yeah. Me too. So go over and check out CrossAmerica.

source

Dan is walking from Oregon (I LOVE that state!) to Virginia and he just passed his 4 MILLION step mark. How freaking hardcore is that?! So inspiring. Here's a Catholic Post article about his journey and purpose. You'll love it.

Y'all know about my obsession with Camp Patton. If you haven't read the latest Conversations with Julia post, we can't be friends anymore. lo siento.

I want to be her best friend.

mmkay that's all.
xo morgan

that awkward moment...

....when they talk about you at Sunday mass....

umm yeah.
Allow me to explain.

As I mentioned on Friday, I am a brand new parishioner! I went in on Thursday of last week to officially register...after living in town for about 10 months, I finally buckled down and picked a parish. I don't know why I was so hesitant to become a parishioner, but I think it just felt like such a big commitment!

That sounds kind of ridiculous when I type it out loud.
But do you know what I mean?

For my whole life, I've either been a member of my home parish, or in attendance at a Newman Center. The concept of becoming a parishioner seemed like such a giant leap into adulthood! But it's funny how after all this time, and feeling restless and like I didn't really belong anywhere, once I realized that I wanted to register, I was overcome with a sense of peace.

home sweet home!

So what does this have to do with me being talked about during mass?

I think I've mentioned before that finding community in a brand new town has proved to be difficult, and after almost a year of desiring but not really doing anything proactive about seeking a community, I thought that while I was at the parish office, I might as well ask if they have a young adult group of sorts.

Turns out that they don't........and so I asked if I could start one.
Why not?
There's definitely a need for ministry to people in my stage of life: fresh out of college and in danger of falling away from the faith should our parishes neglect to help us stay connected.

Well, the people I talked to were all really great and excited about my desire and ambition to spearhead a new group like this, so I set up an appointment to talk to the Director of Religious Education and went on my merry way.

Fast forward to a couple days later during Sunday mass.
This weekend was the Annual Diocesan Appeal; they showed a video (I know SO MANY people in it!!!), and then someone got up to give a little schpeel.
Aaaaand the person speaking was one of the ladies I had spoken to a few days prior!

She begins to talk about how we all need to be giving our time, talent, and treasure, yadda yadda....then she starts giving examples of people giving of their time, and begins to rave about this young woman who just came into the office on Thursday asking if she could start up a young adult group because she sees a need for it in the parish, isn't that awesome that she would give of herself in that way?!

oh.
my.
gosh.

I won't lie, it was kind of cool.
And also really embarrassing.
But awesome.

I'm really excited to get started and begin to minister to other young people like myself and make some new friends! Being involved in church ministry is a void that I've been feeling lately and I'm really happy to have a way to give back to my new parish. And in a way, I think that little shout out in mass was the Lord confirming that I belong here, like a "welcome home" sign.

And dang, home feels good.

xo

habemus papam

I love him!
I love saying "Papa Francisco"!

I love calling him "Papa Frankie"!

I love that he looks like a little grandpa!

I love him I love him I love him!

How is it possible that you can love someone so much without knowing them?
And THAT, my friends, is the beauty of our Church.
#oneholyapostolic baby.

xo, mo

Discerning Religious Life - Guest Post

The following is a guest post from a good friend of mine, Hannah, who will be entering religious life with the Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary in Miami, FL. Thank you Hannah for sharing your story with us!

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Hannah (L) with Mother Adela, SCTJM

“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Savior for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.” Luke 1:46-47 

This perfectly describes how my heart feels. I am overjoyed in the Lord and so grateful for the beautiful gift of my vocation.

I first heard the call to be a religious- and was actually open to it- while I was on a mission trip in Miami, FL last summer. While I was on the mission trip I went to an all night prayer vigil put on by the Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary. The vigil is done every year in honor of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary to pray for the sanctification of priests and an increase in vocations. 
It was there that the Lord started asking me to be all His. 

I didn’t really understand that at the time, but I knew I just needed to trust in what the Lord was doing. Throughout the week I was in Miami I kept asking the Lord what was going on. Finally the last day I was in Miami I said to the Lord that if He was calling me one of the Sisters was just going to have to say something to me. No more than ten minutes later I was walking across the street and some of the sisters pulled up in their car. They started getting out of the car and one of the sisters said to me “You’re going to be a nun.” 

WHOA! The Lord could not have been more clear with me!

The Lord has called me to live my vocation with the Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary. 

By entering this community I will be participating in the charism “To be a living image and presence of the Heart of Mary in the heart of the Church and place our Marian charism at the service of the Petrine principle.” This means that we are to be other Marys in the world in our loving and faithful service to the Church and to be witnesses to the splendors of the faith and to build a civilization of love and life.

Although I have answered the Lord with an excited and willing ‘yes’ there is still one obstacle to my entrance to the community…my student loans. Actually about half of the aspirants to religious life and the priesthood face the same obstacle. I have been blessed to partner with an organization called The Labouré Society that helps people like me overcome student loans through fundraising. I am fundraising along with 16 other women and men who desire to follow God’s call, but are blocked by student loans.

Will you please consider joining us as we follow the Lord’s call for our lives?

Hannah and Morgan at Winter Jam 2012

Please know of my prayers for you and your family!

If you want more information on The Labouré Society please visit their website!

May the love of the Pierced Hearts reign in your hearts!

Hannah

What I Wore Sunday

Linking up once again with the lovely ladies at Fine Linen and Purple and other more proactive peeps for another WIWS

Most Sundays I attend the 9PM mass at the Newman Center and therefore stay in my jammies all day until I realize around 6PM that I should probably shower...which is why it takes me forever to post these doggone posts because I stay out so doggone late!

This outfit in particular is one of my favorite takes on a casual outfit I wear nearly every day...but today I took it up a notch with a great Goodwill find...

super duper low quality webcam photo.....best shot I could get out of 3 different cameras if you can believe it...

That blazer, originally from Charlotte Russe, was $3.49 at Goodwill! I just about died.

                                                     

my go-with-everything leopard flats....and my I-feel-naked-without-it spoon ring

This Sunday was one of the first times that it hit me that Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI will no longer be the fearless leader of our Holy Mother Church....I shed a tear or two upon the initial announcement, and when reading/seeing pics from Jenny's son John Paul's encounter with B16, I cried a lot over that....but I don't think it sunk in fully.
But during the Eucharistic prayer, when our priest skipped the "Pope part" and went directly to "our Bishop Daniel..." I literally caught my breath.
And it was loud.
And slightly embarrassing.

But that was the first time I really realized that he was gone.
I know that this doesn't mean that we're abandoned, I know that this is all for the good of us and the Church but it still hurts. I'll miss our German Shepherd.

the deets:
blazer: Charlotte Russe (thrifted)
blouse: Old Navy
undershirt: Fruit of the Loom
flats: Target
spoon ring: Silver Spoon Jewelry
necklaces: Charlotte Russe

click on over to FLAP for other Sunday Funday outfits!

xo, Morgan

What I Wore Sunday

three posts in three days?! whaaa?? I know. cray cray.

I haven't linked up with the ladies at Fine Linen and Purple in a couple of months, and actually I'm pretty sure I've only done one other of these WIWSs....I usually peruse through the link-ups but just can never find the energy to take pictures of myself. SUCH a hard life.

but seeing as it's Papa Benny's last Sunday as Pope, I thought I'd give it another shot.

As some of you might know, I work for Students for Life of Illinois...in a nutshell, I work with pro-life college students...so when they have an impromptu very important meeting, even if it's on a Sunday and I don't work on Sundays...I show up.

In honor of B16, I wore my fav Catholic t-shirt today to our meeting....which began at 1pm....aaaand didn't end until 4:30......aaaaand mass was at 5:15 across town.....aaaaand so while I felt like a total slob, I decided it was better for me to be super casual and have time to pray before mass than go home and definitely be late.

*sigh*

Being that this shirt reps our Holy Father, I felt a little less guilty that I was wearing a t-shirt, cardigan, jeans, and scuffed up canvas shoes to Sunday mass...

 I'm very sad to see Pope Benedict retire, though as we approach his stepping down and the *gasp* empty seat of Peter, I'm filled with an Easter-like hope and joy. I know that I will love our new Pope just as much as I've loved the other two Popes of my lifetime.

A couple of my students had this question today, to which I did not have an answer, maybe someone can answer it....during the period of time in which we do not have a Pope, during the mass, what will the priest say during this section of the Eucharistic prayer?

"...together with your servant N. our Pope and N. our Bishop..."

Perhaps they'll just skip over that part? I'm not sure...

Well, solemn Lent to you all and since I know you're all dyyyying for deets on my faaaabulous outfit.....

Catholic Swag
cardi: Old Navy
B16 t-shirt: totally-catholic.com
jeans: kohls?
shoes: Old Navy

check out FLAP for more elegant inspirations for mass attire :)

xo, mo

shake down

Since I'm still relatively new around the Newman Center, I have the occasion of shaking someone's hand nearly everyday. And due to being blessed as a Catholic and having the privilege to attend mass nearly everyday, I shake hands at least a couple people during the sign of peace.


Now, the topic of the mass and how much I love the signs and sacrament of our tradition could be 50 posts in and of themselves but today I'll just focus on one thing.
Handshakes.


I can't even tell you how many conversations I've had with people about handshakes. 
What makes a good handshake, what makes a bad handshake, eye contact, etc.
And over the years of gathering this empirical and highly scientific data, I have come to a couple of conclusions:

1. Nearly everyone has the same criteria which makes for a good handshake.
2. While everyone seems to be on the same page in regards to what a handshake should be like, there are STILL people out there who give bad handshakes.

The second point above isn't really a conclusion but more like a strange occurrence that I can't figure out! I (and others) feel that a good handshake is firm (but not too hard), the person should make eye contact, the entire hand should be used in the shake, and the length of the handshake is just long enough, but not too long.

And yet, while everyone agrees on these elements, there are STILL people who give a bad handshake! What's up with that?! And not only is a bad handshake something that almost makes me cringe on the inside, but it makes for a horrible first impression!

A handshake that is limp which only uses a few fingers to grab onto the receivers hand is the worst. Absolute worst. The only thing that makes it worse is if the hand is sweaty. Yuck.

And I almost feel bad saying that because it's not the sweat that makes the handshake bad...in fact, I don't mind a sweaty handshake as long as it was firm and everything else was in order.
Sweat ≠ bad handshake But the combo of limp hand and sweat makes my insides coil.

However. A good handshake, one that is firm, but not bone-crushing; long enough to get out a "very nice to meet you/see you"; is accompanied with eye contact and a smile...now THAT is the best first impression that one can make.

I have had, on occasion, recieved a too-hard handshake...ow. Actually, a few days ago in mass, I shook the hand of a young man whose hand was definitely 2 times the size of my hand...and he squeezed my hand so hard, one of my knuckles popped! It was actually kind of funny, I don't think he noticed...but I would much rather receive a too-strong handshake than a weak, gross one.

I'm sorry if this offends anyone, this is just my opinion and this post isn't directed to anyone in particular, I just find things like this interesting :)

And just in case you're wondering, I have an excellent handshake ;)

and yes, I think that this post title IS rather clever :)