Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Not Alone Series: Encouraging Men

We seem to always have something say about guys treating us right! Or, not right! But, what does that mean? Have you ever thought to share those insights so guys have a better idea on what to say/how to act? Well, let's do it! What are some good habits guys can take up when dealing with us ladies?

A while back, I wrote a piece on Encouraging Chivalry, which touches on a lot of ways we as women can try to let men be men.

I'm not sure that I have many more insights as to what men can continue to do right....but here are some things that I appreciate, as a lady :)

  • Common Chivalry - Ok yes, open doors to buildings but car doors too! This has become much less common and it's really a sweet touch. Little things like this show a lady you're considerate. And for the Catholic men out there: let the ladies go before you in the communion line. SERIOUSLY. I don't care if she's your sister, best friend, platonic friend, girlfriend, whomever, let her go first. If you sat together, allow her to go before you. THIS is a huge point-winner (though it's not about the points, but the do add up!)
  • Be Intentional - Do you like a girl? Let her know! Want this dinner-grabbing thing to be a date? Say so! There is nothing that gives a lady more peace of mind than knowing where you stand...or where you don't stand. If you have a friendly/flirty personality, and you know if you do, be sure to tell the girls you aren't interested that you appreciate their friendship, that you are so glad you're friends. Telling them you aren't attracted to them probably won't go over well, but wishy-washiness is THE WORST.
  • Discern Your Vocation - Please, visit that seminary. Apply to seminary. GO to seminary. Or don't, but at least explore it. At least pray about it. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a guy I'm interested in say: "meh, I just never really thought of the priesthood", or worse: "I thought about it, but I REALLY want to be a dad". I get it, believe me. I have a deep desire to be a wife and mother. But I've also asked God what He desires for me. Please do your future wife (maybe!) a courtesy and explore your vocation.
  • Keep it Casual - Intention is necessary, but a proposal on the first date is not. Dating is meant to be fun, so try to keep it lighthearted...get to know the girl, but especially in the beginning, it's okay to not know if she's "the one"...just try to get to know her! (this one goes for the ladies, too!)
  • Don't Reveal Too Much - My best friend just married the love of her life, a man who I'm proud to now call another of my best friends. He's wonderful. And he could teach y'all a thing or two. One of the lessons this gentleman could teach is to be sure you're not revealing more of your intentions to other folks before the young lady you're pursuing. In example, the first time I met my friend's now-husband, her sister and I had the chance to grill him on his intentions. While deep down, he was sure that my friend was "the one", he kept his reply short and sweet, without revealing more to us than he had revealed to his intended. Oftentimes, we want to win over important people in our intended's life...siblings, best friends, parents...but be sure that when you're revealing your heart, you reveal it to your beloved before the whole world. You want her to be the first to hear it, rather than from her sister.

I think that's all I have for now! Bottom line is honesty and clarity is best. Flirting is fun, but don't leave us guessing.

Link up your thoughts below!


Next week's topic:
It's that time again! In the past, we've challenged ourselves to grow and/or take steps toward moving closer to our vocation. These challenges have come in all different forms! Trying online dating, getting more involved in our young adult ministry, and working on discipline have all been past personal challenges. What is one thing you want to challenge yourself to do that might help you along on your path toward God's will...or maybe just help you become more open to God's will?
Share what you're planning to challenge yourself with and why, then in 2 weeks we'll write on how this challenge went!!

3/24: Lent
We're more than half way through Lent... how's it going?! What did you decide to give up/take up? Did you make any spiritual goals? How have you grown thus far and how do you hope to make the most of the remainder of the season?

3/31: Expectations vs Reality... of the Single Life
Have you ever had people in your life who have expectations of what your life is like, as a single person? Do friends or family ever make assumptions about your life simply because you're unmarried? Did you ever had expectations about being single which turned out to be different than the reality? How do you manage the expectations of others with the reality of your day-to-day?


  1. I posted too late for the link- up, but here's my contribution anyway: http://lindsayloves.com/2015/03/18/not-alone-series-encouragement-for-men/

  2. And months later, I have come back to read and comment properly! I must be alone in *not* wanting a man to let me go before him to Communion. I am all about organization, and if he lets me go first, we'll be in the wrong order coming back into the pew. Then he has to climb over me. I guess it could work if we could switch seats easily. I am going to just hope any man I'm at Mass with who is not just a friend will know that (even if I have to explain).


Be my friend and leave a comment! :)

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