Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Not Alone Series: Patience

This is my 200th post! WOWZA! Thanks for being here for another round of the NAS!

Do you find yourself becoming really impatient, or struggling with your life to "really" begin? If so, how do you combat it? Do you do anything? How can we support one another in this area?

I'm a slight huge perfectionist. Which apparently can make me a bit of a control freak.

Not with little things, but definitely with big things.
Like my life.

How does this relate to patience? Well, I like my life to go just so, and when the big man upstairs decides that my plan isn't how things are going down, that's annoying.
Entering into my freshman year of college, I imagined that when I graduated from college, I would either be planning a wedding, or at the very least, in a relationship that was heading toward marriage.

Welp, here I am, almost a year and a half post-graduation, and nope....I'm not engaged.
Heck, I haven't been on a date in THREE years.

My life is not at all what I planned it out to be.
I initially entered undergrad as a Biology - Secondary Education major. I envisioned becoming a HS teacher and going on for my master's to be a Guidance Counselor and eventually write books and give seminars on effective parenting and how to combat bullying.

I graduated with my degree in Psychology; I work for a non-profit Pro-Life organization.
Yep, definitely NOT where I thought I would be.

But you know what you need to just let Him lead you down the right path?
A whole lot of trust for sure.
AND a ton of patience to allow Him to reveal His plan to you.

I travel a lot for work (i.e. I go back and forth from Central IL to Chicago about once a week), and in the beginning of this travel time, I would get SO ANNOYED by the stupid signs that I became used to seeing.

"Chicago - 176 mi"


In addition to that, my GPS (or Samantha, as I not-so-fondly call her), only gives me one direction at a time. 
I HATE that. 
I want to know the entire trip! What should I expect after the next turn?

And then it dawned on me.
God and His plan for us is a lot like Samantha.

He's not as annoying, but He only gives us one direction at a time.
While we might be impatient and want to know everything that He has planned for us, He'll only give us the next step when we're ready.

While following His lead might be annoying and take a lot of patience to follow, it's worth it in the end.
I know that when I was deciding which program I should go into, He led me to Psychology.
I know that when I was discerning my next steps after college, He placed my current job into my lap.

But that all didn't happen without prayer, sacrifice, trust, and patience.

I currently struggle with desiring the future I feel the Lord is calling me to.
I SO desire dating and engagement and marriage and marital bliss and babies and all that.
It is SO HARD to just sit. and. wait.

BUT embracing the now (doesn't it always come back to this?) is what always brings me back to reality.
Loving my life NOW, enjoying my singlehood NOW.

Because someday, I know I'm going to look back on these years...once the courting and engagement and wedding and babies and everything has come and gone, I'll look back on my single years and I want to be able to see them as fond memories. I don't want to look back and wish that I would have soaked up what I had when I had the chance.
Someday, there will be a time when I will give anything to drink coffee by myself in a coffeeshop, or go to a farmer's market by myself, or read a book by myself....and I don't want to have any regrets.

So while patience is difficult, and it's definitely a virtue to practice, I think the best way to workout your patience muscles is to just BE. Just LIVE.

Maybe that's redundant from past posts, but whatever. This is my blog and I do what I want. ;)

Link up your post below! AND check out some announcements after these next four topics!

Next week's topic:
No one would encourage you to "settle" when it comes to relationships...but would you ever consider it? What are your thoughts on settling in relationships in general?

November 5: Fav Single-people Websites/Blog posts
Share other single-person blogs or websites that you love! (or include posts/articles that you've enjoyed that pertain to the single life!)

November 12: Vulnerability with Friends
Do you find that your non-single friends struggle with relating to you or vice versa? If so, in what ways? How do you handle it? What is something that you would like them to know or understand that they just don't seem to get?

November 19: Surviving events/parties as a singleton
The holidays are coming up! Family parties, friends gathering....and you're single. How do you "cope"? Any tips or tricks?



Ladies, we have decided to take a break from the Not Alone Series after the November 19th post until January 14, 2014. I know it seems like a long time, but we are coming up on a busy season of travel and family time. We don't want to take away your time from what's most important. Feel free to continue to blog about your single life experiences, but we just won't be having anything formal until January. 


We would really like to establish accountability partners!
We love what this series has been doing, but we want to take things a bit further! 
Here's how it will work:

Email us if you are interested! 
It doesn't matter if you have only participated once or every time!
Please email BOTH me (mvmcfar at gmail.com) and Jen (jennifercox.rn at gmail.com) by October 29.

Once we have received your emails, we will pair you all up!
We will then notify you by email by November 5.

Only requirement to participate:
A weekly email! That's it.

You and your partner can set up more emails, Skype dates, etc if you so desire. But, there should be at least ONE email per week.

If you have any questions, please email us! More info will be given to those who wish to participate. We think this will be really fun, and we hope it provides great encouragement, community, and friendship for everyone. :)


  1. It seems you're focusing on some of the same aspects of patience as I am. Maybe because we've roughly had the same path in life. ;-)
    And I love the next topics! Hopefully, I'll be able to post every week. I'll mail you for the accountability thing.

  2. Congrats, on post 200! I definitely agree: focusing on the now and TRUST. I too had a much different image of how my life would go post college graduation. And 6 (WOW) years later, it is something I couldn't have even dreamed (both good and not as good. but what sometimes helps with the impatience of when my past dream will come true is to think about how if I did get engaged or married soon after college how my trajectory would have changed, and there are some things that I am so so happy have happened. So I'm trying to be patient to get to the next six years, because on the good days, I feel I can trust that they'll happen for a reason and be *good.*

  3. Awesome analogy! :)

    Samantha.... hilarious.

    And get out of my head. Live in the NOW...

  4. Great post. I love the GPS analogy! That always stresses me out when I can't see the next couple turns and I"m afraid I'll miss one! But really, I guess that's not the end of the world if I do because it will just re-route me and get me back on track. Oh life!

  5. This is so like me -In addition to that, my GPS (or Samantha, as I not-so-fondly call her), only gives me one direction at a time.
    I HATE that. I want to know the entire trip! What should I expect after the next turn?

    Great post.

  6. Love this post! I've found letting go and trusting Him can be scary and full of uncertainty but then all of the sudden your blessed with something in your life you wouldn't have ever thought of on your own!


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