Not Alone Series: favorite resources!

Welcome back to another week of the Not Alone Series!

Thanks to everyone for putting up with my tardiness...I was half-way through this week's episode of The Bachelorette during my lunch break when I realized that today was Tuesday. Oiy vey. I blame it on my move this week and this weekend's baptism festivities.

Hokay. Now onto the good stuff. This week we're talking about our favorite resources!

I love music more than most things in this beautiful world and so it should come as no surprise that most of my favorite resources are songs.

The first song I LOVE is Beloved by Tenth Avenue North. This song played a huge part in my discernment story and it has helped me so much to understand the love of our Lord for us...as well as how that relates into marital love.





I've always been a fan of Matt Maher, and especially when I found out that he's indeed Catholic! I saw him in a small concert the local Christian radio station had last year and he told the story of his song My Only Love...he wrote it when he was single and was longing for his future wife, but just recorded it now. I think it's so beautiful and really encompasses the love I feel for my husband, wherever he is...





As Long as our Hearts are Beating by Jenny and Tyler gives me chills. It's very lovely and passionate. I also saw them in a small concert during college and they're as sweet as can be...and have a brand new baby girl! Stephanie from Captive the Heart talked about this song in one of her posts and I couldn't agree more with her review of this song:

"...so wondrously expresses the pure love between a bride and bridegroom. It's about really seeing the person you love, not just in body but in entirety. I ache."




And this last one is just fun. I'm a Keeper by The Band Perry describes my life right now. I LOVE rocking out to it. The free-ness it embodies is something I can totally relate to.




Ok, so as far as other resources go, I really loved the book Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. While I can't say that I agree or enjoy everything about this book, overall, I found it to be very lovely and encouraging.

Among many others, I really love this part:

(in speaking about beauty) "There is a radiance hidden in your heart that the world desperately needs."

Yes.

And while I felt awkward reading it at first, Christopher West's Good News About Sex and Marriage is faaabulous. It really broke down a lot of my walls and preconceived notions about chastity as well as sex within marriage.

But one of my FAVORITE favorites is a book I got about a year ago to deal with all of those pesky FOCUS missionaries doing summer training here. So. difficult. It's a book called The Dating Fast by Katherine Becker. It's an amazing book to help you "reclaim your heart, body, and soul". I love it. A lot.
And you can buy it here!

Alrighty, well that's all I've got for now...I feel like I'm forgetting something but if so I guess I'll just have to write another post! :) Link up your favorite resources post below!

------------

next week's topic:

Envy and Singlehood

Interpret as you like...

August 13: Challenge week!!!
Write about whatever you challenged yourself to do in order to take a step toward your vocation whether it be marriage or religious life! Can't wait to read what y'all did!

We're running out of topics, people!

Email us your ideas!!!

Guest Post at The Veil of Chastity

Happy Monday, y'all!

Sooooo I hesitated about even saying anything because I really don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm also really excited....today I'm guest blogging/posting/whatever-ing over at The Veil of Chastity!
Talking about chastity and living it out in the real world.

If that peaks your interest, take a gander!

If not, here're some bonus baby pics from this weekend's baptism festivities.
Because if little Lincoln doesn't make you squeal, well, why are you even here? ;)

"heeheehee I'm so funny!"

"mmkay I'm smiling...can you stop now, Auntie Morgana?"

"ooo something kinda smells..."

SUCH a cutie pie!!!

xo, mo

Five Favs

Linking up with Grace, who's hosting 5Fs this week....

[1] NFP week

Sooooo this week is NFP week.....and thanks to all of my lovely NFP practicing friends, there have been a bunch of awesome articles that have come my way. This one is especially fabulous....and makes me want to send it along to some of my childhood friends who use the pill but also really want to have children in the future....those side effects, dude. So much for being fully aware of all the facts...

[2] The Privilege of Being a Woman

I started re-reading Alice von Hildebrand's The Privilege of Being a Woman....loving it even more than I did the first time...aaaaand then I used it to smash a giant spider on my bedroom wall. BAM! Talk about ironic. :)

[3] Black Velvet: Toasted Caramel

While I was on vaca, our family friends introduced me to this stuff. I'm telling you, best. stuff. ever. I NEVER drink any alcohol on the rocks (shots are more my pace...jkjk), but this stuff...mmmmmm mmm. Delish.

Since I've been home (more than 3 weeks), I've been on the hunt for my very own bottle and when even Binny's didn't carry it I lost all hope....but good ol Meijer came to the rescue. Why don't I shop there ALL the time??

[4] Family Pics

stolen from FB

Ok, so we all know how I'm obsessed with babes. Which is why I have to show you this pic of my dear friends whose son just turned a month yesterday...I love it so much. Simply precious.

[5] Swiffer Commercials



Alright, Swiffer, you've got me. I'm fully convinced that you're the best brand, all thanks to Lee and Morty. These two are SO FREAKING CUTE. You HAVE to watch this. I can't even handle it.
Here's the shorter version if you can't take three minutes to watch the cutest old people ever.

Hope you're having a happy Hump Day!
Sorry, couldn't help myself.

xo, morgan

Not Alone Series: "just friends"

Linking up over at Jen's today for another round of the Not Alone Series!

This is an age-old question that has been plaguing the minds of well-meaning men and women wayyy before Harry made it a thing:



And so here we are. Asking the same question of you all, and requesting your thoughts. And SURPRISE. I have some of my own. ;)

So. Can guys and gals be "just friends"?

Well, it depends. I know, I know...we all hate that answer.
"It depends". RELATIVISM! GAHHH!
buuuuut since we're dealing with what I don't believe to be a moral Truth issue, Imma let this one slide.

Ok, so why does it depend?

Welllll, I'm a firm believer that men and women CAN be friends with one another because I have some veryveryvery close guy friends. BUT there are a couple factors that come into play in order to make these relationships possible:

1. Within these relationships, neither of us have a romantic interest in the other.

2. I'm also very close with their wives/girlfriends.

This isn't to say that you can't be friends with someone who you've been romantically interested in at one point or another, but in my experience, I've only been able to have authentically close friendships with guy friends once our friendship becomes completely platonic (regardless if the initial feelings were one-sided or not). Additionally, when/if these guy friends have a significant other, the only way that I've been able to maintain that friendship is if I'm also close with her.

I've tried to be friends with guys who don't match one or both of the above factors, and it just ends up being awkward. And like Jen said, I just don't/didn't feel like I could be authentically me.

I have a couple examples.

First, one of my closest guy friends. I've known him for going on 5 years and he's truly like a big brother to me. I trust him and know that he'd be there for me, even if it meant driving 3 hrs in the middle of the night. He also happens to be married to one of my dearest girlfriends. We've known one another for 5 years and they live only a couple of blocks from me. We hang out a good amount each week, both one-on-one and the three of us, and now that they have a babe, I try to sneak over whenever I can ;)
But the point is, I'm able to be true friends with P and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I've never had romantic feelings for him AND that his wife knows me and trusts me. Even though I know that I'd NEVER try to break up any couple, distrust between you and your friend's wife/girlfriend can cause major issues.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is a guy who I'm technically friends with, but I feel uncomfortable with our relationship. He's a nice guy and all, but I always get the vibe that he likes me in a more-than-just-friends way. Maybe it's the 3+ Snapchats from him each day or the little comments he makes about us hanging out alone, etc. Regardless of what it is, I'm not interested and while I've made that clear (VERY explicitly clear), I still don't feel like I can call him up on any given night to grab a drink without him potentially getting the wrong idea.
And I know that our "friendship" is different from what I've had with other guys because I have a guy friend moving to town next month who I wouldn't hesitate to get dinner with multiple nights a week. (again, completely platonic and his girlfriend and I are bffs)

So, in summation, I do think it's possible to be friends with guys....clearly these friendship will look differently than those you have with other women, but I think that's a given. These friendships have taught me A LOT about being able to relate to guy problems and how to communicate with them....skills that I think will help me eventually when I find Mr. Morgan.

But I don't think it's as simple as people might think. I don't think women can be "just friends" with every guy. Many will have romantic interests and others may have girlfriends who you aren't friends with. And, like I said, these are two factors that I've found really determine your ability to have a true friendship with the opposite sex. Keep in mind that these are just my opinions based on my personal experience...I'm not saying you have to follow these guidelines when making guy friends, this is just what I've found to be consistent in my life.

What are your thoughts? Can girls be "just friends" with guys? Are there other components you think I missed? We'd love to hear it!

Link up at Jen's with your writings on being "just friends" with guys!

----------------

Next week's topic:

Favorite Resources

Are there any books, songs, prayers, etc that have helped you during this time of your life? Sharing is caring!

8/6: Envy and Singlehood 
Interpret as you will....

8/13: CHALLENGE TIME! 
So...you think you are called to marriage? What are you doing about it? Go to a young adults activity! Sign up for CatholicMatch.com! Do SOMETHING that allows you to take an active part in writing your story. Praying is important, and we love writing about our thoughts and feelings, but we need to be doing more than just that! God won't just hand everything to us, we've got to make an effort as well!
Or....feeling that religious life is where you're headed? Maybe reach out to a community you're interested in! Have coffee with a sister from another community! Pray, duh. But, it's important to be active in your search for God's will.
On 8/13 we'll all be talking about what we did and how it went!
What's a community without challenging each other?? Can't wait to hear about it!


Again, Jen and I really really REALLY need your ideas for more topics! We've received a few great ones, but please don't be shy! We're hosting the linkup, but we really want everyone to be involved. Please email us or comment on our posts about things you would like to discuss. No topic is out of the question!

prayers and recommends

I'm sure many of you read House Unseen. Please keep Dwija and her beautiful family in your prayers. They lost their youngest baby, Nicholas, this Monday.

Speaking of prayers, I'll be joining up with the community at PrayMoreNovenas.com for the St. Anne Novena. I'm offering this novena up for the Borobia family and my future husband. You can read about the significance of this novena over here, which is the story about my good friend, Annie (who also happens to be my boss's wife).

Don't you love it when you stumble across an awesome new blog?? Yeah. Me too. So go over and check out CrossAmerica.

source

Dan is walking from Oregon (I LOVE that state!) to Virginia and he just passed his 4 MILLION step mark. How freaking hardcore is that?! So inspiring. Here's a Catholic Post article about his journey and purpose. You'll love it.

Y'all know about my obsession with Camp Patton. If you haven't read the latest Conversations with Julia post, we can't be friends anymore. lo siento.

I want to be her best friend.

mmkay that's all.
xo morgan

Not Alone Series: Identity

Thanks to Alex for the topic suggestion this week! Her guest post can be found over at Jen's!

When it was decided to talk about identity this week, I was really excited, because this is something I've thought about a lot. Your own personal identity is important throughout your entire life, but it's something that I think single people especially struggle with.

Specifically in college I knew a number of people who just seemed lost unless if they were in a relationship. It was like they had no idea who they themselves were without someone to be with. I found it incredibly annoying...I mean, you have to be your own person, right?
It made zero sense to me...until my relationship ended.

We only dated for a couple of months (long enough for me to realize that we weren't "meant to be") but we'd been really close friends before dating and so breaking up took a toll on my life as a whole. I felt like I'd not only lost a person who cared about me and wanted to be with me, but also my best friend. It was heart-wrenching. And as much as it logically made sense for us to break up (I couldn't ever see us raising children together...red flag!), every part of my life seemed to reek of "us". Plus, when you're in a relationship, there's such a sense of security...knowing that at the end of the day, there's someone out there who has your back. Losing that felt like losing a part of myself and despite both my heart and my head telling me that it was the right decision, my insecurities desperately wanted for us to get back together.

I really had to take a step back and allow myself to get back to being me once again.
It took time, and my ex constantly trying to win me back didn't make it any easier, but I'm really so grateful that through prayer and self-discovery, I was able to persevere and get back to me.
Getting back into that relationship or dating someone new would have only been a band-aid hiding the truth that I had lost sight of who I was outside of the relationship. But after reclaiming who I was as an individual, it didn't matter who I dated or who I broke up with, I still had a strong grip on who I was as a person.

While it's been awhile since then and I don't quite remember how I got to that place, I had to somewhat reclaim my identity last year upon moving to a brand new city and working full-time. After being a student for so long and not having the time to look deeper into what makes me me, it's been like an adventure to find out things about myself that I never knew before. Rediscovering my love for sewing, cooking, and reading has been so wonderful and having the time to now invest in those parts of my life is even better.

Also having to break out of my comfort zone and reaching out to make friends has been a really huge growing experience for me, but it's paid off! I've mentioned before how I'm starting a young adult group at my parish, and being able to invest my time in an "extracurricular" such as that is such a gift! Just being involved in my parish is such a formative experience....I might even join a choir this fall!

Overall, I think it's super important that we as young people are self-aware. Even after marriage and having babies, we need to know who we are as people outside of the "wife/mommy role". I think this is crucial to our own self-worth.

What are your thoughts on identity? Please link up with us below! Any and all perspectives are welcomed!
And I'm going to ditto Jen and call out you married ladies (Trista and Martha!), please join us if you have something to share!

--------

Next week's topic:

Is it possible to be "just friends" with a guy?

In the interest of helping everyone prepare more in advance, here are the next few topics!

7/30: Favorite Resources

Are there any books, songs, prayers, etc that have helped you during this time of your life? Sharing is caring!

8/6: Envy and Singlehood
Interpret as you will....

8/13: CHALLENGE TIME! 
So...you think you are called to marriage? What are you doing about it? Go to a young adults activity! Sign up for CatholicMatch.com! Do SOMETHING that allows you to take an active part in writing your story. Praying is important, and we love writing about our thoughts and feelings, but we need to be doing more than just that! God won't just hand everything to us, we've got to make an effort as well!
Or....feeling that religious life is where you're headed? Maybe reach out to a community you're interested in! Have coffee with a sister from another community! Pray, duh. But, it's important to be active in your search for God's will.
On 8/13 we'll all be talking about what we did and how it went!

What's a community without challenging each other?? Can't wait to hear about it!

SPECIAL REQUEST

We really really REALLY need your ideas for more topics! We've received a few great ones, but please don't be shy! Jen and I have said that WE have a lot of topics WE would like to talk about, but WE are NOT ALL OF YOU! The "we" really needs to include all of us. We are in this together. Yes, Jen and I are hosting the linkup, but we really want everyone to be involved. Please email us or comment on our posts about things you would like to discuss. Anything from the silly to the really serious. Whatever you find that is on your heart, something you normally discuss with your girlfriends, etc, there might be someone else who wants to chat about that, too! So, please let us know! No topic is out of the question!

Not Alone Series: Despair and Vocations

Thanks to Amanda for suggesting this week's topic!

It is SO easy to feel alone, lost, and forgotten when you so ardently believe that you know what your vocation is meant to be but it just doesn't seem to be happening yet. I don't have all of the answers because I struggle with this kind of despair A LOT and expect/hope to learn more this week from others than be able to lend any advice, but I would like to share some wisdom from others I've picked up along the way.

Those of you who follow me on twitter or are my FB friend (only a few of you out there, I think :) might have seen that last week Tuesday, my grandmother passed away. The wake and funeral were on Sunday and Monday, respectively. Grandma's passing was one of those unexpectedly expected events.
We knew Grandma was slowing down, and had begun to tell everyone that she was ready to pass on from this life.
We knew that her health took a nosedive early last week.
Yet, we didn't expect for her to go so quickly.

And while these past few days have been extremely difficult, I've had the opportunity to reevaluate the way I approach my life currently. It's so easy to waste away your days wishing for something that you don't have and wanting each day that stands between you and your future to pass by quickly. But upon standing back and looking at your life, it's so important to realize that today was yesterday's future. Did you waste yesterday wishing for today? Or did you make the most of the current moment to prepare for tomorrow?

This reevaluation isn't just for you, it's something I have to continually remind myself of.

Another part of the despair of waiting for my "vocation to begin" (the idea of which I kind of hate because aren't we all living out a daily vocation, regardless of our relationship status?? ...another topic for another time...), is the despair that comes from comparing my life to those of others.

At the moment, I struggle most with comparing my life to those of my friends who are engaged or married or married with children. It's especially difficult when I realize that these people are my age and have been married for X number of years and have X number of children.
It's SO EASY to feel completely behind the ball!
I end up sitting back and having projections of my life as an old maid with 50 cats all named "Baby" and freaking out whilst wondering if it's time to join CatholicMatch.com.

Aaaaand then I give my self a mental slap in the face and remember that I'm only 23.
But more than that, even if I were 33 or 43 or 53 and single, the most important thing to remember that this is my story.
MY story.
No one else's.

Yes, my life looks different from my best friend from grade school. (married for 3 years)
Yes, my life looks different from my freshman year dorm-mate. (married 10 months, just had a baby)
YES, my life look different from my best friend from college. (dating a cowboy in TX...literally)
DUH.
That's how it's supposed to be!

It's so easy to think you're not pretty enough or not funny enough or not good enough when at 21 most of your friends were engaged and you were there twiddling your thumbs and just trying to find a friend to do jello shots with. *guilty*
But that's the beauty of life! No one's story is the same, and if we all had the same story, how freaking boring would that be?!

So ladies (and gentlemen?), don't doubt yourself. Trust in the Lord and in His timing and try to enjoy life right now. It doesn't last forever and the future is coming up quick (tomorrow.).

So looking forward to reading your thoughts on vocations and dispelling despair! Link up below, please include a link back to THIS POST and check out Jen's post (it's pretty awesome, just sayin')

----------

Next week's topic:

Who are you right now as a young, single woman?

(here is a blurb from Alex, who emailed this suggestion to help you see what we mean and to get your juices flowing)

We place so much of our identity in other people, in their reactions and responses to us, in whether they take the time to text us or like our status on Facebook. We desire approval more today than ever, and we seek it constantly. So what happens when you’re removed from the reactions of other people and you’re left sitting alone on a bench by the bay with no reaction or encounter except those from God?

I’ll tell you what happens. You begin to meet yourself. Because the truth of your personhood is how you are seen in the eyes of God, and it’s never more revealed to you than when you take time to leave everyone else in the world and to ask him who you are. I thought I was alone when I moved to St. Augustine in August, but what I really had was the most intimate time with God I'll probably ever know, and it’s revealed several things about who I am that I never really saw.

Not Alone Series: prepping for your future vocation

Hey y'all! I'm on vacation this week with mi familia...follow along on all the fun via twitter and/or instagram!
Since I'm preoccupied this week, Jen is hosting our discussion on what we can work on NOW to prepare us for our future vocations!

Head on over to link up, and remember that you don't necessarily have to be single to participate! Any and all perspectives are welcomed! :)

--------

Next week's topic:

Despair and Vocations

The ever hilarious and wise Amanda suggested this topic...here's how she described it:

Most of us have times where we despair about our vocations, or, if we know them (i.e. marriage), we despair that they will never be fulfilled. How do we deal with that despair and what are our best tips on moving past the despair into hope?

---------

PS Thank you for your feedback last week! We're working on tweaking and will let y'all know of any changes for the future! And as always, please email me or email Jen for any topic suggestions as well as comments/concerns/etc...we LOVE hearing from you! :)