who are you, really?

I was hanging out with a couple of my favorite people yesterday (Claire and Emsh) and I found myself saying things like "oh my gosh you sound JUST like your sister" (which I would know because Claire's sister is one if my bbfs), when I realized that I was also saying things that sounded like Kunk. Huh.

And it got me thinking about how many of my mannerisms and personality traits seem to resemble different close friends that I've had over the years.

I won't bore you with only slightly descriptive descriptions of these many wonderful people, but among them include Kunk, Liz, Kiley, Tyler, Carol, Taryn, Lori, etc. And many many more.

Now, what do all of these people have in common? Well, they're all mostly women (which is good...that I'm becoming more like women and not men...) but on top of that, they have strong personalities. And over the years of knowing them, I've picked up certain things that they say or do.

Examples:
"Deuces" -Kunk
"Not a big fan" -Tyler
"Your team" -Liz&Kiley
"Cray cray" -Carol
etc etc etc

[it's actually reallllly hard to sit down and pick out what specifically you've picked up from different people, but there are maaany others, to be sure]

"ok, ok. so your friends have rubbed off on you, who cares? that probably happens to everyone!"

THAT is EXACTLY my point!

People have said all my life to "be aware of who you surround yourself with because that's what you'll become" and sure, I take it seriously, but there were times (especially in high school or early on in college) when I thought "ah, whatever...I mean, sure these people aren't exactly what I want to be like, but I'm my own person...I'm not going to change just by hanging out with them..."

But you do.

It doesn't happen instantaneously, but gradually, over time, the people who you surround yourself with begin to change the way you think, the way you feel, and the way you act. For better or for worse.
Yes, you have the choice of whether or not to hang out with these people in the first place, but the social modifications that occur aren't always in your control. They just happen.

And I've seen first-hand how real it is. In some ways, it's good...like in the different phrases or mannerisms I've picked up from different people. But in other ways, I've noticed that sometimes I change for the worse. Like, if I hang out with someone who is totally negative all of the time, I end up feeling and acting negatively. Or if I'm hanging out with someone who swears a lot...I tend to also begin to swear more. Etc etc etc....

I think that this concept is something that is important to keep in mind throughout our entire lives because we're always meeting new people and experiencing new situations and those new surroundings can either help us to be a better version of ourselves or someone we don't want to be. The choice is always ours, but it's the subliminal changes that occur when we don't think about our choices are what we need to keep an eye out for.

To close, I'd like to leave you with a quote from my first chaplain at ISU, Father Antonio Dittmer:

"If you desire to be holy, surround yourself with holy people"

In other words, surround yourself with what you desire to be, because that is what you will ultimately become.