Hello dear friends! I do apologize for my absence, I'm just now fully recovered from the past week and a half! I cannot wait to tell you all about the craziness that has been January.
(WAIT. It's almost FEBRUARY?!)
As my lovely NAS accountability partner knows, one of my additional goals for this new year is to take better care of myself. Even if that means stepping away from my blogging, I need to make my health (and sanity!) a bigger priority. I hope you understand :)
BUT enough with all of that...let's get on with this week's prompt!
Do you struggle with balancing the sting of hearing about yet another proposal with genuine excitement? What emotions come into play? What virtues do you enlist to deal with it all?
Well, we're once again immersed in engagement season, and I'll admit, more than once have I texted Jen saying:
"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THE SEASON OF FREAKING ENGAGEMENTS.
I'M NOT BITTER JUST ASKING."
^^^ direct quote ^^^
Here's the thing, y'all. I am so very happy...thrilled, really...for the ladies and gents I know who are newly engaged and over the moon with excitement because this is what they've been waiting for for so long. I am.
I know that longing, really...I know.
So the fact that they're taking a step closer to living out their vocation is awesome. Beautiful, really.
But that doesn't make my ache go away.
At times, seeing others' happiness gives me hope that the Lord truly does have a plan for me, too.
And other times, I just want to throw a television off a bridge.
It's realllllly difficult to be happy for others when they have something that I desperately desire.
Ugh. That ugly, green-eyed monster called envy. What is one to do? How am I supposed to genuinely squeal with my best friend whose boyfriend just proposed when deep down I can feel the bubble of bitterness rising? Why is it that beneath my joy for others, there's a fire of rage?
I think some of that comes from a discontent with one's own life. If you're unhappy with your life, OF COURSE you're going to wish you had something else. This easily leads to wishing you have what others have, which very easily leads to jealousy.
Otherwise known as coveting.
We have a tendency (speaking for myself, assuming that others are the same) to forget that the 10th commandment forbids this impurity of heart.
"You shall not covet your neighbor's goods" does not just apply to material things; we must also not covet immaterial things.
Gosh. That's kinda heavy...
um yeah, because it's Truth.
Ok, but how do we combat this? If I'm striving for purity of heart in ALL things, how am I to achieve this?
My best suggestion is prayer.
A couple of years ago, I was struggling to love one of my "neighbors". When I sought counsel from a priest, he gave me the best advice I could have ever received.
He told me to pray for them.
I was really annoyed.
"Uhh...Father, I really don't want to pray for them..."
His response?
"That's why you must."
The beauty of prayer and the work of the Holy Spirit is that when you're intentionally praying for someone, especially someone you're struggling to love, gradually your heart is softened. Over time, my begrudging prayer became sincere. My hardened heart became putty in my Maker's hands. I began to genuinely desire that the Lord's will be done in my neighbor's life, not just what I hoped would happen.
So this is what I'm striving for as more&more&more of my friends/acquaintances/relatives/etc become engaged and get married. Please know of my prayers for each and every one of you and I ask that you keep me in yours as well.
What are your thoughts? Link up below!
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Next week's topic:
Chastity: A Choice
Living chastely (not just abstinence) is a choice. Have you ever had to defend your choice to live out chastity? If not, why do you choose chastity?
February 11th: If only I knew then what I know now...
What would you tell your former self about being single if given the chance? What have you learned that you wish you could tell your younger self?
What would you tell your former self about being single if given the chance? What have you learned that you wish you could tell your younger self?
Morgan,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post and have definitely said/texted/thought "WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THE SEASON OF FREAKING ENGAGEMENTS..."quite a bit the past few months. Prayer definitely is the best remedy, and like you said, it's not always something we may want to do, but we absolutely have to!
"Throwing a television off a bridge" is just spot on. :) But yes, prayer is key. I've noticed I have more healthy emotions when I have a healthy prayer life.
ReplyDeleteI've had the same thought too, more than once. And not just that, but all these magical relationships seem to be popping up among my friends, too. Blah. Buuuuut. I love what you have to say here... Thank you. You give me hope. :)
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I really like that you didn't bash the feelings of jealousy but directed them towards more constructive things. Also thank you for reminding me to pray for those we are frustrated with, hits a tender spot right about now.
ReplyDelete"You shall not covet your neighbor's goods" I never thought of this in these terms, but it really makes sense and calls me out. Thank you for this insight and reminder!
ReplyDelete