in need of a nanny

yes, you read that title correctly...I'm in need of a nanny....for myself.
or I guess these days they're called "companions" (insert season if you so desire i.e. 'summer companion')

because I need someone to tell me to go to bed.
someone to MAKE me go to bed.
someone to monitor my every move and make sure I don't stay up until 5AM playing angry birds. yuuup. that's how I waste my time.
ugh.
legit issue right here.